Herpes Emotional Support

[twelvesummers.livejournal.com]

I'm not asking for any specific advice, but I would really love some sympathy and any general advice from other people with this particular problem. I've spent a significant portion of the day crying.

So, at 3:00 today, I was unofficially diagnosed with herpes. The lab tests on the sores are still pending, so I don't know whether it's type 1 or type 2, but my doctor said she'd be shocked if the test said anything other than positive. I suspect it's type 1, since I think I've seen cold sores on my boyfriend occasionally.

I'm having trouble dealing with two things:
1) That I did everything I could, and that STIs don't mean you're a horrible person.
2) It's extraordinarily painful.

The pain front is simpler, I guess, although it's the majority of the problem right now. This is one of the worst pains I've ever felt, coming to you from a klutzy sports-enthusiast with an autoimmune disorder who's had several surgeries. Every time I move, it hurts. Every time a muscle in my pelvis moves, it HURTS. Every time I have to pee, it hurts like I could just die. The doctor told me the first outbreak is the worst, but I never even imagined that this kind of pain was possible. I've been taking Advil, using an icepack, trying to keep my mind occupied with TV and video games, and (to be completely honest, though not wise) drinking pretty heavily. I sobbed non-stop from about 5 to 7, because it hurt so bad, and only stopped when my begging for rum worked out. I know it's not smart, but it stopped the pain for now. It's my experience - scrape yourself to hell on a bike or climbing, combine bandaids and vodka shots. I'm not a heavy enough drinker for anyone I know irl to be concerned by this.

I don't know what to do about it, but lord, it hurts.

The shame is a little more complicated. It just seems super ironic that, despite my 9th grade sex ed teacher, I managed to have sex with who I wanted when I wanted for years, only to get an STI while in a committed monogamous relationship. (And although he's had a fairly large number of partners, everyone in his family has cold sores, and it's just as likely he got it in some totally nonsexual way. Take that, Mrs. G!) I keep telling myself that almost anyone could have this sort of bad luck, and at least I'd always, always used condoms. I'm not sure if I'm ashamed of my bumpy vulva, or feel like I've betrayed my girlyparts by having oral sex without any sort of barrier.

HSV1 genitally

[amazongirl4.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend has HSV1. He said he's never had a cold sore. Anyway, he performed oral sex on me about a week ago. I had a UTI and began taking antibiotics on Sunday. Since then I noticed the left side of my vagina/my whole vagina has been dry. I was inspecting myself and I'm not sure id it's from the dryness but I have a minor tear that bleeds on my vagina lip area. Now I'm paranoid my boyfriend gave me herpes. He does not have a cold sore and did not when he performed oral sex on me.

How likely is it to catch herpes like this?

We have been together for a few months. My vagina is also prone to cuts and bumps (I started a new birth control too) but I don't know if I'm trying to console myself or what :(. I just had a blood test for herpes done yesterday. I had tested negative for both types prior to starting the relationship with my boyfriend.

Missed HBC, oh gawd!!!

[alliegata.livejournal.com]

Okay, so due to various circumstances I ruined my perfect streak of not missing any of my HBC pills this Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday (yesterday). The last time my boyfriend came in me was Thursday morning. I doubt I'm pregnant now (I had a couple spots of blood this morning, but DEFINITELY not enough to be implantation bleeding), but what are the chances I could get preggers during the rest of my pill pack? I'm not on placebo for another week...

EDIT: to clarify a few things, I missed these pills completely, & I am more afraid that I will ovulate rather than being pregnant already. Thanks everyone!

Me againn

[gamuzadma.livejournal.com]

Last Saturday my boyfriend and I had sex, (I finished my period on that Wednesday) and the condom slipped off a few times, but he never finished in or near me. Freaked out anyway cause I'm not on the pill, I took plan b on Tuesday. Had no side effects what so ever, until now. I've been nauseous, and really tired. Also this passed Wednesday we had sex again, He came three times, in a condom, not in me, and we kept going because I wasn't done. lol. Anyway, I'm a paranoid FREAK and I just wanted to know what you amazing people here think my chances of being pregnant are? I'm going to talk to my doc about trying  ortho trycyclin lo also. I want a birth control that doesn't cause depression or weight gain or lower my libido and control my acne, and I heard that pill can do it. Lol that's more than one question, but I want your opinions on both!
xoxo

half-update

[sabishii-kirito.livejournal.com]

Hello wonderful people!

I have a partial update on my stomach issues (http://vaginapagina.livejournal.com/20438646.html). I did see another doctor. At least I think I did. It's been a year since I've been to that section of the clinic, and when I showed up, my previous doctor was scheduled to be working (his name was on the schedule board). When I got into the office, though, the guy didn't look like what I remember, and when I left another doctor's name was on the schedule... So I guess I lucked out, just barely.

Anyway, I explained that my symptoms had returned (which was stressful in itself; medical stuff in Japanese is over my head, and I forgot the note I had written at home), and he immediately said that it was in the gallbladder-area. He felt around and said nothing felt out of the ordinary, but he said I should get some tests done to check for stones and whatnot.

So, I'm scheduled for an ultrasound and an endoscopy in four week. Sadly, I couldn't get in earlier than that; my mom is coming here next week, and weekdays are out of the question because even if I take a day off work, I don't want to go by myself. They're closed for the New Year, and the week after that they're booked... I was given some medicine for heartburn/nausea/lack of appetite... And something I can't quite read that seems to aid with digestion and inflammation.

Thanks for all of the input earlier. I'm going to hold off on trying anything else (elimination diet, etc) until after my endo and ultrasound, but I really appreciate everyone's advice :)

Links round-up: Week ending December 17th

[also-warriors.livejournal.com]

Welcome to our weekly links round-up-- and sorry for the unannounced hiatus. This is a compilation of items from the past week that may be of interest to VPers.
As a reminder, in lieu of trigger warnings, I use keywords describing the themes of the piece. Please skim these before deciding to read the excerpt or click through for the full article. Outside sources are not safe spaces, and mainstream source's comments should almost always be avoided. The links I highlight don't necessarily reflect VP's views, or even my own, for that matter. 

This week's round-up includes: Sexual assault survivors and the holidays; a Baptist church takes a stance on same-sex marriage; health does not equal worth; "in rape culture, all men are guilty until proven innocent;" defining and unpacking ADHD; the male gaze in female sterilization marketing
( Read more... )

What have you been reading (or writing!) this week?

If you'd like to see an article included in next week's round-up, send me an e-mail at recidivist@vaginapagina.com . Non-US and positive links are especially appreciated. (I can't fit all the awesome links people send, but I'll try to post any that I don't include to Facebook, Tumblr, or Twitter.) You can also just take matters into your own hands and post in the comments!

Refusal for Pap at health department

[gavinsmommy84.livejournal.com]

I had this experience happen yesterday morning, but have still be so disgusted that I haven't been able to think about it much.

Where to start...I'm recently married (got married in June), and I haven't had a past test since before I began sleeping with my husband (February 2010). I went for my yearly appointment in January 2011 and was told that I didn't need a pap because the guidelines had changed for women in their 20's only needing a pap every two years if there hadn't been an abnormal one in so many years. So, I decided not to get one and save the trouble of it. Well, fast forward to a few weeks ago when a friend of mine says that she has cervical cancer. Upsetting news for her (she's also pregnant), but my husband has slept with this friend before he and I began dating in 2010. I know that the HPV virus can cause cervical cancer, so, naturally, I figure that I should have this checked out for myself , if anything just for piece of mind. Plus, I've been wanting to change my birth control anyway. So, I made an appointment at my local health department, where I've been going for years for my birth control needs (they have always been helpful) since I'm still a student and don't have insurance yet.

I get into the exam room with the nurse practitioner, and she looks over my chart and medical history and says that I don't need a pap since it hasn't been two years since my last one (it was in February of 2009). I tell it that I don't care, that I want one anyway. She still insists that I don't need one. I explain to her why I want one...that a friend of mine has found out she has cervical cancer, and she has slept with my husband, therefore, I want the pap test to see if I have abnormal cervical cells. She proceeds to act like I have no idea what I'm talking about...that they don't do the kind of test that would show HPV since I'm only in my twenties (I'm 27), and they only do those for women in their 30's, and that even if I was exposed to HPV that if I am healthy, my immune system would automatically fight off the virus without needing to have intervention. 

I was shocked. I mean, I know many women in their 20's (especially for reading here on VP) that have had to have intervention due to paps coming back abnormal. I think I was more offended with the fact that this woman acted like I had no idea what I was talking about, and then refused to give me a test that I would have to pay more for. So what if it proved to be worthless, and only helped my piece of mind? I was paying for it, and I think she provided me with misinformation anyway.

I also told her that I thought I may have a case of BV or yeast. I suspected BV, but she came back saying that I had a minimal amount of yeast that didn't even necessarily need treatment and because I'd just gotten off my period, it was normal to show that some yeast (but I thought that being on your period usually made yeast disappear??). But I know I still have some sort of infection, but don't know what to do about it.

And I don't know what to do from this point on. I had tears in my eyes the entire rest of the exam, and on my way home to talk to my husband. I don't think I've ever been treated this way at a doctor's appointment. But I guess I just need some advice on where to go from here. I am lost. Also, sorry for the length of this post.

Open Letter to My Menstrual Blood

[frolicnaked.livejournal.com]

Dear Crotch Blood,

I feel I've been quite forgiving with you recently.

I have not complained about bleeding, in greater or lesser amounts, for 41 days straight. I have said nothing about the Peek-a-Boo Game, where you seem to disappear for half a day at a time and then -- surprise! -- show up in my clean white panties. Nor have I said anything regarding the constant cramping or the intermittent desires to eat beef liver wrapped in broccoli and spinach. (For clarification purposes, it's the beef liver impulse that's the problem, as I normally like broccoli and spinach.)

Yesterday, however, was a bridge too far. Not the amount blood, but rather the stickiness of it -- or, as I prefer to call it, the Stretch Armstrong Factor. I mean, I get that when I empty my menstrual cup, some of it will get on my hands; I'm ready for that. What I'm not prepared for, however, is the blood that will:

1. Stick to my hands. And the cup. And my crotch.


2. Refused to be severed by toilet paper and/or my hand swiping at it.


3. Vault itself forward from between my legs onto the floor of the bathroom stall and also my pants.


4. I really liked those pants.

We need to re-establish some ground rules. I understand if my "I don't want to bleed all the time" schedule or my "I don't want to drown" flow requirements don't work for you. (Well, okay, come to think of it -- I don't get it at all. But let's pretend.) However, when you slather yourself all over my outerwear, it's usually in a time and place where I can't do a cold water soak to keep the stains from setting. And I do not have the dollars -- or, more to the point, the time to spend shopping for plus-size curvy pants -- to keep replacing them.

What I'm trying to say, uterus, is that if you make me choose between you and pants... well, I am pretty proud of my fallopian tube bling, yes, but I need pants.

Please consider this before you get all clingy and stringy in my crotch again.

Thank you,
The Person Who Could Sign the Hysterectomy Papers