Talking to a friend about unsafe sex?

[natane.livejournal.com]

First, before I outline the situation let me just say I'm not trying to be nosy or "mother" my friend. I'm honestly worried.

I'm rooming with a friend during our first year of college. Her boyfriend moved to where our college is to be close, and has an apartment *near here.
Before we all came here, they were using condoms, all the time.
Since they got here, they have not been. Nor any other form of birth control. And he hasn't been pulling out, either.
And yes, I know this for sure. She told me.
Our college is all-women. If she gets pregnant she will end up having to leave. The college does not allow children to stay on campus, at all. She would never have an abortion - we've had several talks on the subject - and I suspect she would keep the baby instead of opting for adoption.
Her boyfriend does not currently have a job and neither does she. Neither of them have the money to raise a baby. They won't have the money to live here off-campus, either, paying for both of their meals (she's on scholarships mostly, so am I) and his apartment (which is quite expensive). Because of that she would end up having to move back into her mother's house, because that's honestly the only place they'd have to go.

There are - quite literally - buckets of free condoms at Health Services on campus. They're given out for free and come in a rainbow of colors (which excites me, for one). The Pro-Choice group on campus also has access to lots and lots of free condoms.
She also has a prescription - that she's had for three months - for birth control. She won't get it filled - her reasoning is that she'll get fat. She's had eating disorder issues in the past but it seemed she'd resolved them. She hasn't gained a pound since she got on campus - has even lost weight - even with an all-you-can-eat buffet cafeteria - so the likelihood of her gaining weight is pretty low.
She has very, very irregular periods - we're talking one every three months or even more space inbetween. She's had several pregnancy scares in the last year alone but refuses to take a test whenever she's worried she might be because she's scared. So there's no way for her to use FAM.

I've tried to be a good example (okay, more like hinting as heavy-handedly as I can) by making a show of taking my birth control every night and mentioning my own stash of the free condoms 'just in case i need them'. I've brought up not wanting to have a baby and how inconvenient it would be at our age considering what kinds of things are going on in our lives right now several times, and she agrees. Not that it's something to be proud of or anything, but we've had scathing conversations about people our age and younger who've started having sex without taking proper precautions, and ended up pregnant or getting someone pregnant.

And it's not like she's uneducated. She knows this is risky. I think a lot of it is due to her boyfriend. He can pretty much get her to do anything, and from the way she's been talking, her not living in her mom's means sex sex sex. If he doesn't want to use condoms, she's not gonna.

I don't know what to do, honestly. It worries the hell out of me. Should I just hand her a crapload of condoms and say "Seriously sis, use these, I don't want you getting pregnant and dropping out?" Should I sit down and have a serious talk with her? Should I talk to her boyfriend, who I'm sorta friends with, and say "Dude, be careful, she's got college to deal with right now, she doesn't need to get pregnant, I'll kick your ass?" Should I just shut the hell up and mind my own business?

I'm so worried she's going to end up ruining her life through this behavior.

problems controlling natural bodily functions after anal sex?

[laviebohemenyc.livejournal.com]

Well, after much pursuasion from my boyfriend, I finally decided to venture into the world of anal sex today. I found it to be quite painful, as my boyfriend is well endowded, but agreed upon a second time just to see if it would be a tad better that time around, it wasn't..

Okay, now some gross details...

Okay, my anal area only hurts a tad, not even much to really care about. However, I uh, haven't been able to control what's coming out, if you get my drift. It's quite terrible and, although this all has happened today, I'm frightened it may continue onto tomorrow while I have work. Did he tear something inside of me to make me not be able to stop certain things from coming out of my body?

Second question: I'm not on birth control, and he did not wear a condom for this. He ejaculated inside of me. I'm really frightened that I could ger pregnant from this, even though I'm fairy sure I cleaned myself up pretty well after both acts. Should I get Plan B? I'm incredibly broke right now and don't really want to if chances are relativley low....

(no subject)

[johannesburg0.livejournal.com]

I bought Gentian Violet for the first time with the interest in treating a yeast infection with it. I've never done this before (I usually use tea tree oil suppositories, but right now my bits are really burny from being exposed to latex. It seemed like a good idea at the time.) 

It says on the bottle it should be used externally.

This may seem like a dumb question, but does that mean I shouldn't put it inside?

SO scared

[perfection2007.livejournal.com]

I had sex for the first time this summer. It was w/ 2 men, way older than me, definite party guys, so I KNOW for a fact they had sex with countless ppl. It was always unprotected sex cuz I wasnt completely aware of risks until AFTER the sex.

I noticed a tiny sore 'down there' couple wks ago but didnt bother me.
But now, its starting to swell a little bit
and stings when I touch it.

I'm going to get tested this week.
But I'm soo scared that I'm gona die from this.

Does this sound like AIDS/HIV??
 

1st Gyno Visit - WAAAAY OVERDUE!!!!

[phoenix-chan54.livejournal.com]

I'm 22 years old, and I've never been to a gynocologist (I know, I know). I've had sex before, but I'm not currently sexually active. My period has been irregular for quite some time now, and I really want to know what's up. Problem is, I have no insurance at all, and I'm basically unemployed. My question is, does anyone know of a good gynocologist in the Saint Petersburg, FL area that charges reasonable rates without insurance for a basic first exam (basically, what I SHOULD have done the second I started having sex). If you have prices, contact info, websites, etc. that's fantastic! Thanks in advance!

EDIT: Ok, so Planned Parenthood seems to be the unanimous consensus, so I'll probably try there first. I just need to ask for the basic full exam (pap, breast exam, and Q&A), and possibly going on Birth Control, right? And I'm definately asking about doing a payment plan/sliding scale thing. I could probably save up the $70 - $100 or so and just pay it if I had to, but shelling that out all at one time is kinda ouch for an unemployed lady like me. $10 or $20 payments is better. :-D

Burning AFTER urination

[glitterberrys.livejournal.com]

We've all heard about it burning when you pee, but lately, it's been burning like crazy after I pee. At first I tested positive for a UTI so I took two rounds of cipro, but the symptoms never cleared up, though the tests were negative. I feel fine before and during urination, but right after it BURNS and kind of aches like crazy, and it takes a while for it to go away.

My GYN did an ultrasound to see if I had a stone of some sort, and he mentioned that I have quite a large ovarian cyst (well, it seems large to me!) that might be resting on my bladder and causing it, but I've never heard of that before.

I'm not sexually active, I don't drink caffeine, and I would think that if it were a UTI I'd be feeling much sicker by now, but I have no fever, back pain or any other urinary problems besides this. It improved for a couple of weeks but recently returned.

Has anyone had/heard of anything like this? I'm slowly going insane here, and my doctors seem stumped. I have to make an appointment for another ultrasound, so I'll probably ask if I can leave a sample behind just to check that the infection hasn't come back.

Incidentally, if it IS an infection, are there any antibiotics that can be taken for a UTI that aren't cipro (taken it twice and it didn't help), bactrim or penicillin (allergic to them)?

Extra period on Generic Seasonale???

[ladysky61.livejournal.com]

I am not supposed to get my period for another month. I've been on (Generic) Seasonale for 8 months now. I had some spotting at the beginning but last "Cycle," My period came only one or two days before the placebos started.

Now I think I am having my period. The spotting started a couple of days ok but yesterday I noticed the flow was as much as my last 2 Seasonale Periods: I even started passing clots. And today I started to have the usual bad cramps and bowel irregularity that I normally have on my period. Basically it looks and feels like my period.

Should I be alarmed? This will stop like a normal period right? Will this mean that I won't get my period at the end of the pack?

I am going to keep taking the pills and was planning to call the doctor tomorrow but she doesn't answer questions over the phone, so I would probably have to come and I don't want to pay the co-pay and waste time if its nothing.

The patch ?s

[ladysky61.livejournal.com]

Hello,
I wrote another post down below. Since this is unrelated I thought I should start a new post.

So I am somewhat bad at taking my BC pills at the same time everyday. Especially recently. I was thinking about switching to the Patch (Ortho Evra, I think). As I have never had intercourse and don't plan to anytime soon, I am mostly using BC to skip periods and to make my periods predicable and comfortable. (and in case something happens...)

For those of you on it, can you skip periods using the patch? Or is that not recommended? Also, any issues with it falling off or it bothering you? I swim and and exercise a lot. Also, I read online that is not recommended for woman over 200lbs and although I am trying to lose weight, I am a bit over that right now (perfect health otherwise). Is that a blanket requirement or more a suggestion? If it makes it slightly less effective as Birth Control, I am ok with that though.

Thanks for any info!


(PS. Because of a medical condition, IUDs and Nuva Ring are not an option)

Possible Bartholin Cyst

[abyssinia4077.livejournal.com]

I've watched this community on and off but never expected to post here.

About two weeks ago I noticed a small lump on the outside of my vagina. I thought it was just a pimple (happens occasionally) and ignored it. Last Monday it started becoming tender and growing. I did some googling and suspect I have a cyst from a blocked Bartholin gland duct. I made an appointment with the women's clinic at my student health center, but the earliest available one was October 5th.

I've been self-treating at home with warm, wet washclothes and soaking in hot water, which seems to have slowed things down. But this morning it hurt more and I noticed a...smaller dark bump on top of the larger bump which seemed to have much thinner skin over it.

I'm at work now and just went to the bathroom and noticed a lot of blood and the bump was gone, so it appears to have popped on its own. The discharge seems to be pretty much exclusively blood, not pus or anything. What I'm wondering now is if tomorrow morning I need to call and see if I can get an earlier appointment or what sort of signs I should be looking for to try to head-off local infection or septicemia. And any good ways to keep it clean (especially since I'm not going to be home for probably 7 or more hours).

Thanks

Pregnant?

[activist-woman4.livejournal.com]

Hi lovelies!

Haven't posted or commented here in quite awhile, but I have something going on right now that I know you'll be able to help with.

Back story: In about February '08 I became pregnant and did an at-home chemical abortion (I'm living in a country where abortions are illegal).  I had gone to a OB and he did an ultrasound, the fetus was about 5 weeks (so he said) and didn't yet have a heartbeat. My husband and I were certainly NOT ready to be parents, yet, and this was the best path for us at the time.  Point is, at only 5 weeks, I was exhausted, could smell EVERYTHING, was dizzy and a bit nauseous, and I basically wanted to rip my nipples off because they were so sensitive all the time.

Now, I think I may be pregnant again (this time, I think I'm ok with that). However, it feels nothing like last time.  I should have gotten my period about 7 days ago, 4 at the very latest (I track my cycles at Monthly Info).  The weird thing is, we haven't had sex without condoms at all this month.  We did a few times last month, but I've had a period since then.  I track my cervical mucus and use condoms most times when we have sex, but am not on any other form of BC.  Besides the missed period: my muscles have been achy, my stomach feels...swollen?, I've been alternately constipated and having runs, and peeing a lot (but I drink a lot of water and ALWAYS pee a lot).

Does it sound to you wonderful people like I'm probably pregnant? I'm still too scared to take a test, though I know I should.  Finally, if we did in fact conceived before my last period, making that "period" decidual bleeding, that would mean that I'm already like 6-8 weeks, right?

Thanks for your input and support! Love this community!

Personal experiences with cysts?

[arularia.livejournal.com]

I know there's a wealth of information on the web about the signs/symptoms of ovarian cysts, but textbook stuff doesn't always translate well into things I can apply to my own body. So I'm here asking for some feedback/information/whatever the lovely members of this community have to offer.

This afternoon, I started feeling some pain in my right, lower abdomen--about midway between my naval and hips. My first reaction when it happened was to apply some gentle pressure to support that spot. That helped for a few minutes, but the pain came back. When I tried to touch that area again, it was extremely tender. About three hours later and I still can't touch it.

The pain's been more or less constant since it happened and kind of stabby feeling. It doesn't radiate anywhere, just stays in that tiny little spot (maybe two finger breadths?). I suppose it's possible that I could be ovulating at this point in my cycle, but since I haven't been tracking my temps or anything, I have no way of knowing. And I'm under the impression that ovulation pains don't linger like this.


For what it's worth, I've had twinges of discomfort in this same general area in the past, but it's always been just one or two and then it's fine and they've never hurt this much or produced any tenderness. (I'm not doubled over crying or anything, but it has inspired a few *ahem* choice words.) I'm not running a fever and I haven't had any nausea, vomiting, or any other symptoms besides this damn pain.

So... thoughts? Ovarian torsion crossed my mind, but I imagine the pain associated with that would be severe enough that I'd have hoofed it to the ER without prompting.

horrendous premenstrual symptoms

[teh-riaz.livejournal.com]

I'm just wondering how normal these are.

first, my cycle is extremely irregular.  I'm usually a month and a half in between periods, and frequently I skip a month entirely and it's more like two and a half months between periods.  I wouldn't really care about that except for the length of my premenstrual symptoms in between - for about three or four weeks before I finally start bleeding, I have the worst emotional and physical oversensitivities.

physically, I just... want to sleep.  all day.  and I swear to christ I could eat everything in the entire world, I joke about it when I'm not feeling like KILLING someone. the cravings are also absurd, in fact just today I  joked to my boyfriend about a uterine decree for chocolate and cheese on toast, LOL.  I tend to hover around 115-120 but I usually gain about five pounds when I'm pmsing - I'm not sure how much of that is water weight and how much is me helplessly hoovering everything, haha.  but the thing is, if I DON'T eat everything ever I get really sick, I guess my immune system is crap when I'm premenstrual.

more importantly though, I find these headaches and whole body aches intolerable.  I already have fibromyalgia and a lot of spinal damage from multiple car accidents in the past, so during these weeks I just wish someone would put me out of my misery.   other than that, I seriously feel like I'm made of JELLO.  I'm shaky and I feel weak and I'm FREEZING all of the time.  of course it's just my perception as I actually have been documented to run a low grade fever during this time, so even though I'm burning up I can't actually get warm.  the boobs hurt and the cramps are absolutely debilitating but I understand most women get these symptoms so I'm not really worried about those so much.

emotionally, I'm an absolute wreck.  every inanimate object surrounding me fills me with burning seething RAGE, lol.  it comes in WAVES and during one I have to do my best to sit down and keep quiet or else I'll end up shrieking at someone or throwing or kicking something across the room.  the day or two before I finally end up bleeding, I'll seriously spontaneously cry periodically throughout the day because I feel like someone's fucking DIED.  my boyfriend is used to the routine - I'll inevitably call him at work and tell him that I feel like someone died and I can't shake it and then I'll stop and say wait a minute - doesn't this happen whenever I'm pmsing?  and he says "every single time."  I also feel for maybe a few days or the week before that everything I say is just awful and wrong and like I've somehow offended everyone I've spoken to the entire day and I it mortifies me and it STICKS with me like nothing else.  and like I said, I just feel like sleeping all day, like I have no reason to even be awake - that's kind of a physical and mental thing.

the rest of the time when I'm NOT pmsing, I'm fine, I'm totally chill, unflappable even; I don't remotely have any sort of self esteem issues and I'm sociable and get along great with my friends, studiomates, family, etc..  I also don't really have much of an appetite, at least, I'm not RAVENOUS, so I eat an average amount, maybe a little below average, but that's how I've always been.  I have weak symptoms for several weeks before, but it's really the week and a half before that gets REALLY brutal and makes me just NOT want to be alive.

I understand that a good bit of this, if not all of it, is perfectly normal.  it's just the SEVERITY of my symptoms that's worrisome to me - it's seriously debilitating every time.  I also figure that most of the suggestions would be hormonal birth control, and that's not happening for a few reasons - I have a serious issue with the concept of artificially changing my hormones, but more importantly I have no health insurance and I'm not dealing with planned parenthood because the people around here are seriously incompetent and have an extremely poor attitude.

so, talk to me? :\  any feedback would be helpful, heh.

oh, one more thing, if the length of this post is problematic, please tell me how to make a cut and I'll do it right away :P

edit: I just realized how WHINY all of this sounds :P  sorry about that!  I tried to throw all of this down as objectively as possible.

Very irregular

[oldflattop.livejournal.com]

Ok so I got my period (in a pretty hilarious and mortifying way) earlier today. But I finished my last period 11 days ago and had finished the one before that 18 days earlier. Wtf? I am not on birth control, but typically have a very regular period and am able to predict when they're going to come. This was totally out of the blue. I haven't noticed any symptoms I usually experience right before I get it and I'm just really confused.

The last time I had sex (which was unprotected) was in the last week of August. Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

update:
Thanks for all the great advice. I just took a pregnancy test with negative results (whew!) and set up an appointment to get back on birth control in two weeks. I recently (as in a month ago) moved across the country and have had a very stressful last couple of weeks. So as of now I'm just writing off these freaky periods as nothing to worry about. Thanks again! You guys are great :)

What to expect when you're expecting inner labia piercings.

[2partswater.livejournal.com]

What to expect when you're expecting inner labia piercings.
While body piercing may have become an increasingly common practice in the United States, I've found that the majority of information regarding aftercare during the healing process, through both Google and local shops, is both contradictory and confusing. You get every aftercare regime propounded from "Do nothing at all" to "Put organic honey on 5 times a day and chant under the full moon." At first I thought it was just the intimate nature of these piercings that made it difficult to ascertain the proper way to clean them along with what discomfort and pain was normal and if I should or should not be playing in volleyball tournaments. It's not like I could call my piercer every time I sat down to pee or had to walk more than 15 feet. Then I realized, there are thousands of pages all with conflicting information regarding the best way to clean your piercings and how many times per day to do so but practically nothing telling you that you really shouldn't rotate the jewelry and taking Ibuprofen will help with the swelling - especially if you're going to be playing volleyball from 2-12 hours at a time.

So, here I give to you my experience, and after weeks of research, things I know shouldn't freak you out when you go to pierce your vage.

First off, as far as piercings go, the pain involved in the actual piercing of the inner labia is very minimal. It lasted only seconds after the needle went through and even though I was having 6 done at once, I would have to say this (or these rather) was one of my easiest piercings. The healing time for the inner labia is 2-12 weeks, much shorter than the nipples which take no less than 6 months.

I had done quite a bit of research prior to these piercings and it was only a week after having my nipples pierced. Since they were healing nicely and my nose has been pierced for a while, I felt confident in providing competent aftercare. What worked for my nose wouldn't work for my nipples and what worked for my nipples was far from what I needed to do on my labia.

So, here's what you do and what to expect.

1. Skip the antibacterial soap. By using it, you kill off your natural vaginal bacteria and let the beastie yeasties run wild. Not to mention, this burns like hell when you try to use it on new piercings down there and most antibacterial soaps are too harsh for our delicate lady areas. If you do feel you need to use soap, work with a good, non-scented, non-perfumed, mild soap like Dove. Just remember to rinse really, really well. Water alone in the shower is best.

2. Don't rotate the jewelry. It's not necessary and can actually introduce bad bacteria into your piercing.

3. Sea salt soaks. Do it. Once a day. Boil water and add 1/8 teaspoon of sea salt. Not table salt. Not just lukewarm tap water. Get non-iodized sea salt and actually measure this out. Too much salt is detrimental and can actually dry the piercings out. Sea salt soaks are recommended for general soothing/increasing blood flow/removing lymph or if you're having problems with dried lymph "crusties." Let the water cool just enough to not burn you and work yourself into whatever position is necessary to keep your piercings submerged for 5-10 minutes. If you have the right shaped container, you can lay back and invert it. Otherwise, just sit on the edge of the couch.

4. It stings when you pee. At first. It sucks. It helps to have a glass/cup in the bathroom that you can fill with warm water and wash over your piercings after you pee. Use toilet paper or paper towels as often as you can. Never towels since they can harbor bacteria.

5. Some have said they found pajama pants to be most comfortable but I personally found sun dresses to work for me. I wore bikini bottoms under my shorts when playing volleyball but I typically go commando. I found regular panties way to constricting.

6. You can still have sex but for the first couple of weeks, you need to really take care to keep saliva and semen out of your piercings. Angles are important too. Just trust me on this.

7. You may have a little bleeding at first. It's entirely normal. Some girls wear pads for the first few days but I didn't find that necessary.

8. Expect some sharp shooting pains as your piercings get caught either to yourself, your clothes, or other jewelry.

9. As I mentioned earlier, take Ibuprofen when necessary. Drink plenty of water and eat well.

10. And do not remove the piercing under any circumstances. This should also be widely acknowledged on websites, but I've found it to be lacking. (For those of you who may not know as much about piercings as the OP): When jewelry is introduced to the body, the blood and skin cells begin to attack the foreign body, resulting in a minor infection. This infection is present from the initial moment a needle punctures the skin and remains in place or is replaced by the jewelry. The newer the piercing is, the quicker it will close up, and the newer the infection is. Removing fresh jewelry or even jewelry that is in an unhealed piercing (and remember that healing times vary) will trap the infection inside of the skin. This will result in an infection brewing inside of the skin for however long it takes to begin to poison the blood. At first, the infection will be so minor you won't even notice it. By the time you do notice it, the infection will be so rampant that regular antibiotics will not be able to clear the infection, and a biopsy will have to be performed to drain the pus and eliminate the infection.

Thanks to tokio for #10.