dystatic.livejournal.comok, im feeling a bit desperate right now.. so bear with the rambling.
an hour or so ago i went and got together my pictures from the weekend to show my brother, i handed them to him and hes all 'i dont want to look at these'
normally id just be, fine then dont. but instead i gathered up my stuff came upstairs and cried.
and this isnt really typical for me. i have chronic depression, but im not a cryer, im a yeller. i also have someteimes sucidally severe pms. and pms is the ONLY time i get weepy like this. ive been weepy lately.
the thing is, my period ended last weekend. so it CANT be pms, because im not at the right point in my cycle.
and i really dont know whats going on.
i dont think its depression related, but maybe it is?
it cant be pms, but it definately feels hormonal.
ive also been having discomfort/pain in my lower abdomen/pelvic region. esspeically lower right which i thought was related to a urinary tract infection. but urine tests came back clean.
i tend to have chronic lower right pain, which has been checked out gynocologically and everything was fine, and i assume is related to my bowels.
i have had a cyst (or a reoccuring cyst?) in my right ovary in the past, but if thats back can that be messing my hormones out so bad?
ive also been noticing LOTS of discharge. thick gelatinous type discharge, which i normally get, but lately its more, and also sometimes its a bit yellowish, but NO odour.
i dont know. i cant call my shrink (who i usually talk to cause hes the only doc i feel comfortable with) cause hes on holiday starting yesterday. i am going to a GP on monday in regards to the pee related problems.
i talked to my mom earlier and she brought up the cyst theory. and it makes a bit of sense, that if it was a big sucker it could be causing pain and pressing on my bladder, etc... but this hormonal wackyness is just fucking me up. i mean i cant go through every day crying at the slightest thing, my eyes burn. this isnt normal. (not even for me)
i just need some sort of clue as to whats going on. perhaps one of your is more knowledgable than me. i will talk to the doc on monday. but what the hell is going on?