my vagina is crying

[strawberrychick.livejournal.com]

i have a problem. my vagina doesn't like me much. at least not lately. I have never successfully used a tampon before and when i went to my doctor to get a prescription for birth control earlier this week (for a variety of reasons) she tried to do a pap smear, but was unable to get in because although my body was completely relaxed, i am just far too tight down there for even the little sized things. She recommended that i start using tampons to get my body used to having something in there, because when i decide to have intercourse it "is going be very painful and difficult." She said i should try it and if she can't do the pap smear next appt (2 months) we'd talk about going to a gyno and she said something about vaginal dialators. but everything looked okay from what she could tell. I have previously tried to insert a tampon, but to no avail. but body just wouldn't have it. So yesterday i started the lovely process of gushing blood and i decided to try using a tampon, but it HURT and would not go in. i got it in a bit, but not far enough and i had this incredible urge to pee so i took it out [or more accurately, my vaginal muscles went crazy and "spit" it out]. but i still felt very sensitive down there for a couple hours after and i felt like i had to keep emptying my bladder almost every hour.
This morning i decided to try again, because i am going to be back at school for my next cycle and i would rather be feeling uncomfortable at home than in a bathroom that i share with thirty other girls.I pulled out the box of playtex slimfits i purchased yesterday and gave it a go. In my first attempt, i was very close, but it didn't go in far enough. there was no pain however, so i decided to try one more time. this time i got it in! it's far enough in and for the first second everything seemed fine, but then my body once again decided it just doesn't want it in there! The problem is that's it's far enough in that it's not going anywhere while it's still dry. it evidently got in, expanded and is firm set on staying there. but this is causing me much pain. my body is not happy with it inside of me and my entire vaginal region feels like it's on fire, i get these stabbing pains whenever i try to move [or even while lying still] and every couple minutes my body tries to have these contractions to spit it back out again. for the last two hours i have been sitting in the bathroom with all my muscles relaxed [that's the only position that's not completely painful] with the painful contraction type things every few minutes. i'm really hoping the tampon will just saturate with blood and i'll be able to remove it, but it's not happening. the string is currently all bloody and gross because when my body has these spasms it tries to spit blood and other fluids to get the tampon out. also, when i try to pull on the string i can feel the tampon hitting a barrier [my hymen most likely] and it refuses to be pulled out. painpainpain. i've heard of people having to go to the emergency room to get things removed, but a tampon? also, i really don't think i'm in a condition to drive because i can't even sit here and type this without lots of pain and i keep running to the bathroom every few minutes.
Has anyonre had an experience similar to this or have any suggestions/advice/know ANYTHING that can put me out of this misery? thanks.

Comments

[elfbabe.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. >_< I've never had this happen to me, but maybe try sitting in a bathtub for a bit? Perhaps that'll help saturate the tampon a little from the other end.

Good luck...

[strawberrychick.livejournal.com]

i actually just got out of the bath and although it helped my muscles a bit the tampon is still in there as tighly as ever. actually it almost sounded like the string was going to pull out of the tampon if i tried to force it, and that would be very bad.

[bheansidhe.livejournal.com]

Okay -- don't panic and try this.

If you have a tube of k-y jelly, put some on your fingertips and try rubbing it inside -- try to avoid the string. See if that lubrication helps you pull it out.

If you don't have any lubricant, draw a tub of hot water and sit in it. After a few minutes, try gently tugging it out. The water will make the tampon swell and soften; it's not great for lubrication but it might be what you need to quell the spasms.

[bheansidhe.livejournal.com]

...and in the FUTURE...

if you're still intent on using tampons (and you don't have to!) here are some things to consider.

Don't try wearing a tampon if you're not having your heaviest blood flow. Dry tampons are very painful. I myself only bleed enough to use one on my first day.

Get some K-Y jelly to help you insert your tampons comfortably.

If you had the urge to pee, it sounds like it was hitting your G-spot, and that's not far enough up! You should insert a tampon at least a finger's depth -- you should put your whole index finger in your vagina, and be able to feel the bottom of the tampon. Either get an applicator-less tampon like ob or Natracare, or try taking one of yours out of the applicator, and put it in with your finger. This will help you position it correctly - I can never tell with an applicator if I've put it in far enough. Your hands are washable :-). When I push it up with my finger, I feel it settle comfortably into a "pouch" at the top of my vagina, past the constricting muscle rings (this is the extra space that accomodates a penis during sex).

You poor girl! A question: are you even able to insert your whole finger comfortably (when there's not a tampon in the way, that is)?

[strawberrychick.livejournal.com]

i think i'm going to stay away from tampons for a bit. this is not something i want to experience again! thanks for for the tips though, if i sometime decide to attempt them i'll make sure it's waaay up there.

and i can get a finger in there without pain - barely. it's not comfortable, but it's not too uncomfortable. however every time my boyfriend has gone exploring down there i get a little spotting after :(

[strawberrychick.livejournal.com]

i don't have any water based lubricant here, but would vaseline or something work? i tried sitting in a bath for about 20 minutes and it helped my muscles a bit, but didn't do anything for the tampon :(

[bheansidhe.livejournal.com]

Go for it - it can't hurt.

[strand3d.livejournal.com]

why don't you just leave it in for awhile. Once it starts to absorb blood it will be a lot easier to remove. The fact is, if you don't try and let your body get used to the tampon, you'll never be able to use them. The vagina is a very stretchy body part, so things like this are meant to go up there. The pain will go away, but maybe if you can just grin and bare it for awhile it'll make things easier for the future.

[alfabettezoupe.livejournal.com]

i can say after 15 years, the pain doesn't really go away.

i got my first period at 13 and lobbied for my mother to let me use tampons. i couldn't get them to go in even though i followed the directions step by step. sitting with one in was similar to having someone stabbing me in the stomach from the inside.

the men i've slept with have all made comments that i'm 'tight' and my body will actually on occasion try and force them out. my doctor has had trouble in the past doing pap smears because my pelvic area will literally fight him. in both cases i'm completley relaxed.

although i don't love pads, i'm not about to set myself up for more pain and irritation.

[thoughtsofchaos.livejournal.com]

wow what an ordeal!! After you get all through with this you should talk to your doctor about this. It sounds to me that you aren't the type that should be wearing tampons. I myself am kind of against tampons. Because of the big risk of TSS.

But thats for later..

Here's for now. If all of that doens't work try maybe while in the bath getting water in you somehow by opening yourself up down there with your fingers. And once there is water in you or close to that try pulling it out. It may be gross, but try to pull it out in the bath.

[siriel.livejournal.com]

Because of the big risk of TSS.

Isn't that a little alarmist? It's a risk, yeah. But hardly a "big" risk.

I did a little poking around and this article (http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/01/19/1042911264548.html) seems to suggest it's not even a risk at all anymore.

""We haven't seen a case for years. It seems to have disappeared," says Professor Richard Benn, head of the Department of Microbiology and Infectious Diseases at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney, and a member of Australia's expert panel on toxic shock syndrome. The specialists do see rare cases of toxic shock in patients with surgical wounds, trauma or burns, but toxic shock associated with tampon usage is simply not being reported."

Unless you have evidence to the contrary, then please tell me so I know not to use tampons! :)

[thoughtsofchaos.livejournal.com]

Here are some links and some books if you are wanting information about it all. Some of the things that you hear now days aren't ALL true.
http://bloodsisters.org/bloodsisters/impacts.html

http://www.mum.org/



Here are some books to look up:

The Curse by Karen Houppert
Whitewash by Armstrong and Scott
Soap Opera (about the generally unethical practices of industry monopolies)
and the Price of a Life (the authors name's escape me right now) about toxic shock syndrome and corporate coverups

If u really want to know, look some info up. I did and I was kinda like you. I really didn't beleave the things that I heard about Tampons until I read it for myself.

Good luck

[fionnghuala.livejournal.com]

I personally stopped using tampons partly because of the ambiguity of messages about toxic shock and similar. I simply don't trust the manufacturers, or the governments that regulate them to prioritise the health of my vagina (I avoid factory farmed meat for similar reasons).

[etherealfeen.livejournal.com]

I had the same problem with tampons, I could only start wearing them after I started having sex. And even now my boyfriend still comments on how tight I feel. But when I lost my virginity it did not hurt as much. I think you should wait until after you have intercourse before trying to wear tampons again.

[strawberrychick.livejournal.com]

how painful was intercourse for you your first couple times? my boyfriend and i tried once, but we didn't get very far at all. i'm definately going to let my poor body rest for a while and not try this tampon thing again until i talk to my doctor.

[etherealfeen.livejournal.com]

It hurt for less than five minutes and then after that I was just sore for a few days. The more I had sex the less painful it was. I definitely think you should rest for a while.. don't tear yourself up too much.

[alfabettezoupe.livejournal.com]

i feel your pain.

i've experienced almost the exact same thing when i tried to use tampons. never again.

[strawberrychick.livejournal.com]

thanks. it's nice to know that i'm the only person who can't handle them. my friends all love them and have no problems. it's crazy.

[alfabettezoupe.livejournal.com]

my friends all think it's strange i don't use them. none of them ever quite understand what i've gone through even trying to use them. a couple of years ago, i tried to use one of the very small slim ones. it literally stuck to the insides of me. pulling it out was torture. i just can't deal with that again.

i know a lot of people who will say that people like you and i should just learn to live with it or do it so that later on its not a problem. but i don't think anyone should make themselves hurt or put themselves in danger over something so trivial!

[strawberrychick.livejournal.com]

thank you everyone for helping me!

4 1/2 hours of horrible pain and one really strong tug later, it's finally out. As much as i don't like pads, i'm definately going to be sticking with them for a bit. and having a chat with my doctor :)

[therainqueen.livejournal.com]

Lubelubelube!
Lube!
I'm thinking maybe... your hymen isn't perforated? Maybe you could talk to your doctor about that. That may be the problem.

vulvar pain

[valette.livejournal.com]

tampons have always hurt me, and i have also panicked because it hurt too much to pull one out. my first pap smear, i was in tears because it hurt so much. the lovely PA told me that my first time at intercourse would "hurt. a lot." she was very, very unhelpful - it sounds like just what you were told.

if you are having the pain right at the opening, then it is very likely that your hymen is what is causing all of the pain - the hole is too small, and putting things (tampons, fingers, etc.) inside the vagina is stretching the hymen a lot. hence the pain. and the reason some women bleed during their first intercourse.

if your hymen is too tight, there are stretches you can do to gradually stretch the skin. this will prevent tearing and further pain. what you do is place a finger into your vagina (with lots of lubrication - ky, saliva, vaseline, or whatnot) and apply pressure on the vaginal entrance by pressing downward toward the anus. keep the pressure on for a few minutes, then release it. repeat this procedure several times, each time with a little more pressure. then insert two fingers and apply pressure to the sides of the vaginal entrance, in addition to the downward stretching.

however, if you are feeling the pain deeper inside, then you may be suffering from a form of vulvodynia - which means vulvar pain. i suffer from this. intercourse with my husband is very painful, no matter how much lubrication we use. pelvic exams and tampons still continue to be painful. many doctors dont know anything about the disorder, and those that do know about it dont know much about it. its still unknown as to what causes it, and there isnt one treatment for it.

a surprising amount of women suffer from vaginal pain, yet few ever mention it. i really want more women to be educated in what it is and how to treat it. if you continue to have pain, i would suggest looking into some vulvodynia resources like http://www.vulvodynia.com/ and http://www.nva.org/. i also have a few books i could recommend. valettem@hotmail.com

Re: vulvar pain

[strawberrychick.livejournal.com]

it's definately a different pain than stretching my hymen. After removing the tampon i still get these stabbing pains every couple minutes that make me really uncomfortable and my bleeding isn't really consitant. when i go to the bathroom a ton of blood comes gushing out (because a release of the muscles?) and i haven't been bleeding much between bathroom trips. thanks for the sites, one of the definitions seems pretty consistant with the pain i'm having and i'm definately going to look into it and talk to my doctor!

i'm glad my doctor didn't continue with the pap smear. i was on the brink of tears and it did NOT feel good.

[sogn.livejournal.com]

If your body is telling you that strongly not to put a tampon in there, then you shouldn't put one in there. Listen to your body. And have your doctor send to to a gynecologist to see what's going on.

[bloodredsky.livejournal.com]

i could never use tampons before i started having sex.
and i still choose not to use them.

it will probably be very painful during intercourse, as it was for me, but eventually the pain will go away.

if i were you i would just stick to pads.

ouch

[genies-bottle.livejournal.com]

i once got a tampon stuck. it was my first time using them and wanted to make sure i was doing it right... only problem was i was not on my period... yeah that was a bad idea. i ended up putting a squirt bottle up to my lips and soaking the tampon to get it out. although i have had no other problems with them i know how you feel.

[lapis-spirit.livejournal.com]

Poor Dear!
Something else you could have tried is after a warm bath/relaxation/candles/maybe a glass of wine get out of the tub or even in the tub, squat down and gently pull the tampon while you focus completely on the word relax.

Sounds like you are really keeping in alot of tension and your tension is based in your vagina.
Just like some people hold tension in their back or neck. Your spot may be your vagina. Take a yoga class do something to relax yourself.

What also strikes me is you may have a history of child abuse.

Hope you're feeling better.

[alitaorg.livejournal.com]

i keep thinking of vaginismus. are you familiar with that?

[fionnghuala.livejournal.com]

I'm interested in the doctor telling you that you had to train your vagina to accept tampons and penises. That is absolutely not true ! There's not reason for you to put anything into your vagina unless you want it and it makes you feel good. You certainly don't have to put a penis into your vagina unless it makes you feel good!

Reading that made me so angry at the medicalisation of women's bodies, and the idea that our bodies are either fit for penetrative sex or have something wrong with them!

I'm an adult woman who has a perfectly satisfying sexual relationship with a man (but admittedly isn't entirely heterosexual) that involves very little penetrative sex - just because we don't particularly feel like it. And I desperately hope that you don't get pressured (by doctors of anyone else) into feeling like this one, specific kind of sex is the be all and end all of having a happy sexual relationship, especially while it would be uncomfortable or freaky for you to do it.

[thekat03.livejournal.com]

bravo!
i was sitting here trying to figure out why the original poster should use tampons to stretch out her vagina to penetratible size, and i couldn't make sense of it

original poster,
just because inserting a speculum or a tampon into your vagina is really painful, that doesn't mean sticking other things into it under other circumstances will be
do you find speculums or tampons to be arousing? me either d:
vaginas tend to relax and self-lubricate and generally make themselves more hospitable to penetration during arousal (note: this doesn't always happen... see the previous poster regarding vulvodynia; also, penetration doesn't have to follow arousal... see the comment i'm responding to)
theoretically, when/if you are about to engage in penetrative sex, you'll probably first spend some time being aroused (yay foreplay!), thus encouraging your body to be cooperative
that means sex, even if it's losing your virginity, doesn't neccessarily have to be painful
some people feel pain when they lose their virginity, but how tight your vaginal muscles are isn't a very definite indicator of how much pain you'll have
arousal, lubrication, and what's going on in your head all factor into the experience of being penetrated for the first time

oh, and by the way,there's been at least one case of a woman going to the ER to have a tampon removed that i've heard of, so it's probably not that unusual