A Girl's Guide to: Underwear that Doesn't HURT!

[neumeindil.livejournal.com]

I'm at the end of my rope when it comes to buying underwear. I'm 5'9" and 195 pounds. I can usually get into size 18 jeans... if you don't mind that they gap at the back because the waist is so farking huge to get over my rear end that I can't keep a shirt tucked in.

I need to replace all of my existing underwear. Most ride up my behind, but the main problem is how badly they're cutting into my "buthigh" (the part of the back of your thigh that's not quite your butt cheek and not quite your leg). I've got permanent brush burn from the elastic/stitching of my panties (euch! hate that word), and if I go without them, my jeans usually just make the scabbing worse. Plus, I'm usually a little drippy at most points of my cycle, so going commando means I have to wash my jeans more often. I also can't go without underwear at work (retail) where I'm more likely to get my butt grabbed anyway.

But then there's the other problem: I'm somewhat picky. I won't wear a thong or g-string, I get enough UTIs and YIs as it is. I won't wear synthetic. String bikinis sit on top of my hip bone and pull the legs up, or slide down my hips and dig into the fatty part, which also hurts. Lo rise and hipsters just roll down and cause a lump and more cutting/chafing. That pretty much leaves me with regular briefs or hi cuts, which I'd be fine with... if I could find any solid colors. Since my waist/hip ratio is so disproportionate, any pair of undies I wear will be seen by strangers during the day, whether it's because I sit down in class before I pull my shirt down or if I have to bend over to scan something at work. I'd rather not have flowers or polka-dots hanging out of the back of my pants.

I'll be damned if I can find anything within those parameters in this tiny town, and I hesitate to order anything online that I won't be able to return. (Our stores: K-mart, Walmart, and eventually a Kohl's. The nearest Target or Victoria's Secret is a 90 minute drive away. The Lane Bryant closed.)

Any other larger ladies out there with this problem? Any suggestions?

Comments

[slinkslowdown.livejournal.com]

Have you considered trying men's underwear, briefs or boxers? I'm in love with my Underarmor boxers.

[neumeindil.livejournal.com]

Yes, since I sleep in mens 3x flannel boxers and absolutely love them. Finding my size may prove tricky, though. Doesn't the fly cause a problem under closer-fitting pants? I'm not sure if the wrinkling would drive me bonkers...

[karalianne.livejournal.com]

Hanes makes solid full briefs. I personally hate bikini cut and high-cut myself, so I was really happy to find those.

I'm 5'9" and 225 lbs; for weirdness' sake, I'm a size 16 on the bottom and the waist is too big but things fit well in my thighs/hips; meanwhile, my bust is nearly too large for a 16 top, and my waist is enough smaller than my bust that shirts hang down unless they're tight or cinch in somehow. I feel your pain.

ETA: Nearly forgot, I know the Lane Bryant is closed. If you can, though, see if you can locate a shop that caters to plus-sizes. I find that pants that are actually designed for plus sizes and come in particular styles/cuts actually fit my curves better than the ones that are just cut from an up-sized regular pant pattern. Here in Canada, I find great pants in the plus size section of Reitman's (a store that includes "regular" sizes, petite sizes, and plus sizes - and all styles are found across all three departments, but cut totally differently based on the department) and at Addition-Elle (a plus-size store owned by the same parent company as Reitman's, but it's specific to career women who wear size 14+; there are pants for four different body types in that store). Until I found this sort of thing existed, I was basically stuck with the same problem you describe in your post. Now I still have it to an extent, but nowhere near as bad as it used to be - when I was a good 40 lbs lighter, no less.

[ulisesgirl.livejournal.com]

I was going to second this - I think boyshorts in general are pretty durn comfortable. Plus, you usually don't even have to deal with a pantyline with them and you won't have elastic in your butthigh :)

[sabishii-kirito.livejournal.com]

I'm not a bigger girl, but I also love boyshorts. The trick is finding a pair that fits, though, because otherwise there's a lot more fabric to get lost in your crack.

I started wearing them because my butt started to get bigger, and I was riding my bike everywhere. Regular underwear rode up or looked weird, but boyshorts have been awesome.

My one problem has been that they tend to stretch out more than other styles of panties I've worn. The leg holes especially, but that could be because I hang my laundry to dry.

[zimknits.livejournal.com]

I tend to do "hi cut" that just has a piece of elastic on the side. Hard to explain, full back, full front. It's the only thing I can find that fits me well/doesn't ride up or dig into fleshy bits.

I don't think it will let me put a link but if you look at lane bryant (.com) and search for cotton string bikini panty. I've worn these when I've been a size 16 up to a 26, and the "string" part tends to rid a little higher, as do the front and back parts of the panty. It's not as low as it looks :)

[zimknits.livejournal.com]

Oops just noticed you said no go on those, sorry about that! Other than that I guess I'd put in my vote for boyshorts.

[jmnstars.livejournal.com]

I wear pretty much ALL Cacique undergarments and I can vouch for ordering them online. I live in a small town and pretty much order everything online. I don't wear many solids, but I know Cacique underwear come solids. I buy either the regular briefs or high cut in my pant size and have never had a problem. There are a lot of sales going on with Cacique all the time. Maybe you can get a good sale with possible free shipping and get a few pairs and see if you like them.

[neumeindil.livejournal.com]

Isn't that a brand Lane Bryant carries anyway? I seem to remember having a pair by that company some years ago. Scotty dogs iirc...

[fallconsmate.livejournal.com]

I'm a bit heavier than you are, and 5'1". Cotton bikinis or string bikinis all the way for me!

From my waist to the top of my buttfcheeks is too irritable to have anything touch most days, including undergarments. Bikinis hit under the radar, so to speak. My daughter, though, is built very similarly to you, and prefers the boyshorts. And I've found that on days when all of my skin hurts, wearing my undies inside out is better because the seams cannot rub that way. ;)

[neumeindil.livejournal.com]

I do the 'inside out' thing with socks. Maybe that'll help with a couple of existing pairs of undies in the mean time. :) Good thinking.

[nightmer.livejournal.com]

Seconding the Hanes recommendation! Look for the solid black ones with white tags that seem to be styled after men's underwear - they're made much stronger than the normal Hanes and they come in a ton of styles. I'm a bit smaller than you (so I'm not sure of their size range) but I have a proportionally giant ass and they're more comfortable than anything I've tried. It's like a bra for my butt.

[karalianne.livejournal.com]

It's like a bra for my butt.

Best.Sentence.Ever.

Just had to put that out there.

(YMMV, of course. ;)

[etxeberria.livejournal.com]

Hanes makes SUPER comfortable cotton boy shorts/boy briefs. I wear them exclusively now because they are soooo comfortable and never ride up/fall down. They start out being a little snug but there's no elastic in the leg holes so after I've been moving around for 10-20 minutes, they stretch out a little in the leg area.

I'm a larger lady and they work well for me!

[neumeindil.livejournal.com]

Do they have that zig-zag stitching on the leg opening?

[redheadedrebel.livejournal.com]

I don't have underwear suggestions, but I do have a suggestion that has solved my bend over/sit down issue with shirts and pants showing a bit of skin.

Camisoles...they have saved me more than once and are a must have now that I'm a teacher. They are longer than any of my shirts and i almost never expose skin when sitting down or bending over...

[neumeindil.livejournal.com]

I have a couple that work with certain pants; it just depends on where the waist of the pants hits whether they'll stay tucked in (my waist is 34", so size 14, but I need the 18s to get over my 49" butt). I need new jeans too, but the undies are the bigger problem right now. I can always use more of those anyway, though. :) Thanks for the suggestion.

[indigo-forest.livejournal.com]

Fashion Bug makes the most comfy plus size thongs. They don't ride up the buttcrack at all, and they are just snug enough on the hips to stay up. <3 them

[hahahabye.livejournal.com]

Watch me be of no help!

...I go commando. Always. Even with jeans.

[vltavska.livejournal.com]

I actually came on here to suggest this too.
Have you considered reducing your underwear wearing days? I know you said you want to wear underwear at work, but maybe you can give yourself a break when you're not at work? Unless you're wearing stockings a lot... it's important to maximise the breathability and cotton, etc!

[realt-stea.livejournal.com]

i generally wear these (http://www.hanes.com/clothing/boy-shorts--hipsters--thongs/-23911--1)

they're pretty comfortable and the part touching the butt/thigh area doesn't really have a band in it, i don't find it too constricting. and, in my current size/shape(which sounds similar to yours), i found that these fit the best and didn't roll down.

[lilsongbird.livejournal.com]

Marks Work Wearhouse has their own brand of super comfy panties in all styles. It's 4 way stretch fabric vs elastics. You pay more for them then the standard panty packs... They are $2-10 each- but worth the money! I think they have bamboo blended in so they are extra soft too. I usually go camo, but when I have to wear undies they top my list

[kuradi8.livejournal.com]

I'm a little wider than you and have had very good luck with Hanes "high cut" cotton panties. They are a little more stylish than full coverage briefs, they live up to their claims of being "wedgie free" and the elastic doesn't irritate me. I get them at Walmart. They come in packs of 5-6 in white or in colors.

[dkwgdk.livejournal.com]

Just another vote for Hanes' high-cuts. I'm a size 18, too (5' 8", 200 pounds, most of it in my huge-ass meaty thighs.) I have a bit of a tummy from my weight fluctuating a lot, and I find that some underwear roll down under my belly, which is also crappy/painful. High-cuts seem to have a long enough rise that this doesn't happen. They also have smooth edges -- less digging.

It's nice to hear someone else is anti-synthetic undies. Cotton cotton woo woo woo!

I don't know if you've looked into the various Levi's "curveID" jeans, but they make one for people with various hip-waist ratios. That might be helpful for the gapping problem. I find that Levi's 515s work really well for me, but there aren't big differences between my waist and my hips.

[mercyoverthrown.livejournal.com]

YES Levi's Curve ID are pretty amazing...if you go on the Levi's website and input your measurements they tell you what cut to get. Because of my HUGE butt I was sure I'd be "extreme curve" but they said "demi curve" based on my other measurements...and those are the best fitting pair of jeans I own! Khols has them on sale from time to time too.

I'm waiting to see what the consensus is on comfy undies too. I find Hanes comfy but they are thin material and seem to wear out so quickly so I'm keeping an eye out for other brands people recommend.

[kaowolfie.livejournal.com]

I'm another one who just wears men's boxer-briefs. Super comfy and never noticed any odd looking bulges underneath my pants, so it's pretty win for me. All the elastic is enclosed in fabric, too, and the Hanes ones I buy have no FUCKING tags so I don't have a meltdown in public. (Tags and sock toe seams are my worst nightmares. I can go from okay to unable to tolerate a tag at the drop of a hat, even after a garment is a few years old.)

[rojarabbits.livejournal.com]

There are so many comments so idk if this was mentioned before, but boy shorts are FANTASTIC. I have a large behind and they actually cover it.

[eavanmoore.livejournal.com]

This may be too extreme a wardrobe change for you, but there is the possibility of wearing leggings and/or skirts. It might at least give your butthighs time to calm down from the chafing.

[romeo46.livejournal.com]

I'm 5'11 and 204 and I would give any hypothetical children I would have for the Hanes and JMS pantie lines. The hi-cuts and briefs are the only things that are comfortable for me and since the pack of five contains only one or two prints the rest are really nice solid colors with a white band.

I tried boyshorts but my belly is big and they looked weird but yes, they were comfortable. Mens briefs are also surprisingly comfortable.

[brigittefires.livejournal.com]

I'm about the same size, though my waist is bigger. Two things to note:

Buy jeans that fit you right, and you won't have the problem of the waist gaping. Apple Bottom Jeans is a brand name, but other brands make a similar cut where the Butt-Thigh area is cut much bigger than the waist--or the waist is cut smaller than it would be for the same butt-thigh area on other jeans styles. Try on a few different brands from various places if you can, because some are bigger in the butt and some are bigger in the thighs and some have larger discrepancies between those areas and the waist. Actually, having a wasit-butt-thigh measurement handy could really help with even just searching online and buying that way. I have found that with larger sizing not carried in stores, I'm getting free shipping--or at least free return shipping--on a lot of things.

I love my boyshorts, and going to synthetic underwear cut my YIs down to nil. Cotton doesn't breathe when it gets wet. I would love, however, to find some BigGirlBoxers that come down my thighs enough to combat chafing without having to wear capri leggings all the damn time, including under my jeans. That would be fab.

I used to love cotton bikini-cuts, but since hitting the bigger sizing numbers I found they are just too low and don't give me the right support, and are unnecessarily low-cut since my pants come up higher now too. Hanes boyshorts are freaking AWFUL, they are cut even lower in the front than low-rise-hipster panties, like they literally sit on my public bone in the front but are way up on my hips on the sides, and are so big in the leg that my labia sometimes gets more exposure than I'm expecting--which is great for the air flow, but doesn't give me any protection from the drippiness. But if I go up or down a size, they fit even worse, so it's definitely a CUT issue and not a SIZE one.

Good luck!!!

[sandi1743.livejournal.com]

all cotton, hanes boy shorts - total love!

[dial-zero.livejournal.com]

I know that tailoring can get expensive, but I thought I'd just throw this out there--it's a fairly simple/cheap alteration to have some of that gapping at the back of your pants fixed. If that helps your situation at all. Good luck on your underwear search!