Your routine/hygiene?

[questionsnat.livejournal.com]

Sorry I made another profile for this question:

So, I'm just curious if anyone out there is like me, extremely paranoid about their vagina smelling/looking/whatever to a partner and I'm wondering what/if you do anything special when youre sexually active when someone other than you is going to see it all the time?

I'm currently in a relationship and we havent gotten to that point soon, but I think we may soon. We may also move in together soon so then we would be together 24/7.

As of now I shave & epilate maybe once a month or less often... thats something Ill have to get used to doing all the time.

Also I'll admit sometimes I dont shower everyday so I'll start doing that...
Right now Im really worried if we're 'in the moment' and Im not freshly showered or something, so Im wondering whats your shower-limit for being with someone? As if, if you didnt shower that morning would you excuse yourself to do it? How many hours unshowered do you think you may start to smell? I'm worried I wont smell myself but my partner might, and I wont know.

Also does anyone know how if you wash your hair too often, it actually gets oilier quicker? (its true, your skin is trying to bring back what you washed off even though to you and others its unpleasant (oils, smell)) Could the same thing happen to your vagina? Usually I shower every 2-4 days. But when Im going to be with my partner Im thinking twice a day. Could that mess anything up? Or make me 'dirtier' quicker if Im constantly washing it?

Or does anyone use any feminine wipes? Any suggestions which ones? I'm thinking about buying something like this http://www.drugstore.com/puretouch-feminine-wipes-naturals-flushable-moist-wipes/qxp315929?catid=184078 and marking over the writing on the packets so its not obvious what it is and keeping it in my purse.. Does anyone use wipes like this and have a specific suggestion? I'll probably buy them online rather than in person.


I'm also thinking I may make sure I eat fruit daily... I heard pineapple is good for... the way you may smell/taste there. Anyone have any suggestions there? Is there anything you make sure you eat or make sure you avoid if you know youre going to be sexually active?

basically I think my routine will be, shower twice a day, use feminine wipes before doing anything, and eat fruit like pineapple everyday. Anyone want to share their routine or just things you started doing when you became active? Thanks!

Comments

[questionsnat.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I guess I may nix the wipes idea a lot of people seem to say that they dont use them.

part of my paranoia may come from the fact that I think more than once Ive heard a negative comment from my boyfriend about vaginas. I cant remember the specifics, but I know it was something like, vaginas are weird/ugly (but he added in theyre fun) or something. So I worry about myself. Of course he may have said those things so i wouldnt worry about his expectations.. so who knows. I know he's definitely not gay, i just worry he might be still in the young male stage of a vagina thats too smelly/messy/whatever is 'icky' or whatever lol because he hasnt been with too many woman. Just mostly porn and all that.

[mrar.livejournal.com]

Honestly if that's his view, that vaginas are "weird/ugly," that's his problem, and has nothing to do with you and you shouldn't have to change at all. IMO, that would just feed his idea that vaginas are "icky."

I must say I find it rather excessively rude that he would talk so disparagingly about your body (even if it is in a general "they're all that way" manner), especially in front of you, and I think that would warrant a serious discussion.

[sweetchild92.livejournal.com]

I must say I find it rather excessively rude that he would talk so disparagingly about your body (even if it is in a general "they're all that way" manner), especially in front of you, and I think that would warrant a serious discussion.

Ia. Maybe I'm super sensitive, but hearing something like that would probably result in me being very, very hurt and possibly crying.

[mrar.livejournal.com]

I think that's normal, I'd respond similarly. If I had been in a relationship with someone for quite awhile I would respond with sadness and crying, but if it was a new relationship I'd probably just angry.

[archangelbeth]

While it isn't a nice thing to comment negatively (or in a way that someone else might feel is negative) about someone's genitals... I just want you to know that people can think of genitals as "funny-looking" while still really enjoying them and not wanting you to "tame" them with hygiene or whatever. I mean, penises are not everyone's Artistic Ideal, either. But, dang, I really enjoy playing with my spouse's! O:D

I wouldn't worry. I would, however, consider calling him on what he's said about them and that it's made you insecure that he will think your genitals are ugly, smelly, and messy. If he is someone worth showing your genitals to, then if you tell him what his thoughtless words have done... He'll try to reassure you! (If he doesn't try to reassure you, then immediately go read youarenotcrazy.com and reassess your relationship! You deserve someone who builds up your self-confidence, not who tears it down!)

[ghostyacct.livejournal.com]

First of all, I've loved reading all the posts here! It's so fascinating!

Secondly, I wanted to reply specifically to this comment. My first sexual partner had commented at one point or another that he didn't exactly like giving me oral, and that he wasn't a huge fan of his face being all up in my vagina/vulva because he thought it was kind of gross. That was sort of the end of me really enjoying oral sex for a long time. Even though it felt good, I always felt guilty. I started dating this particular guy (and becoming sexually active) when I was 16, and I wasn't able to achieve orgasm until I was 20, and I think this was a contributing (but not the only!) factor. I tell you this as a cautionary tale, because these ideas can get in your head and make you feel bad about yourself, and it shouldn't be that way! Sex should be fun! Vaginas are super cool and amazing, and lots of people love being all up in them!

Thirdly, to actually answer your question - I don't really do anything special when I'm seeing someone (except some more frequent pubic hair grooming), though I am more conscious about what's going on down there. I shower towards the morning once a day, but there usually ends up being one day a week where I skip it. There are times when I've showered twice a day, but only if I happen to go to the gym or beach or get messy during sex and need a second one. I wash my vulva with a natural soap (even though I probably shouldn't) and water in the shower every other day. I know that some people have problems taking more than one shower a day because it can really dry out your skin! All in all, with my last sexual partner, we were pretty respectfully open about when we preferred the other to be a bit cleaner. So if either one of us had not showered that day or had gotten sweaty, oral sex was probably not going to happen, and we were both fine with that, or we solved the problem by taking a shower.

Lastly, I've definitely heard disparaging remarks about penis area odors, too!