BC after having baby, what to do?

[inkster.livejournal.com]

Bit of background: I have a history of infertility. It took us 4 years to get pregnant and keep it and it happened naturally after treatments we tried didn't work.

I am currently 4 1/2 weeks postpartum. I was told by my MW today that I can resume having intercourse whenever I feel ready for it. Exciting, because I haven't had sex in a long time and terrifying because I'm so afraid of how it's going to feel.

She said that we should use birth control because I could be ovulating even though I am exclusively breastfeeding. We had decided before I gave birth that we wouldn't bother protecting because we know we want another child and it took us so long to get the one we finally have that it seemed dumb to protect when it might happen without all the heartache and stress. That was unless having another one was out of the question at the time. Which naturally, it is.

I am not going back on pills because they made me really depressed for months when I came off of them and I didn't ovulate for over a year and while I can't prove it was them, I'm pretty sure they were at least responsible for the depression. I don't like the idea of an IUD. I hate condoms. Which leaves me with...?

My questions are:

1) I used FAM for TTC. Will it work if I am BFing exclusively? I know it can dry up your fluids, so I'm not sure if it would be as obvious if I were ovulating. I also know that it can prevent you from ovulating at all, which would be ideal, but I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to take that chance and end up pregnant by accident. (not the end of the world, but not ideal right at this moment - such a strange feeling after trying for so long to get pregnant in the first place!)

2) I know there are some really thin condoms that feel a lot less like you're wearing one. Does anyone know what those are? We've used the thinnest Trojan ones for when we've needed to but we both hate them.

3) If I'm not getting a period, does that mean I'm not ovulating? (assuming it's impossible that I'm pregnant). Obviously it varies, but how long did it take for your cycles to return when you were exclusively breastfeeding?

Thanks so much in advance!

Comments

[geminigirl]

Can't answer #2-I've had a latex allergy for years and so I don't know what's available in latex.

Regarding 1 and 3-there is information available about charting while breastfeeding-I'm pretty sure TCOYF has a section about it. Consider your sleep patterns-with a four week old, are you getting a long enough stretch of sleep at a consistent time of night to chart reliably? Even co-sleeping, I wasn't getting a stretch of consistent sleep at the same time of night regularly enough to chart until my first was about six or seven months old-she started sleeping through the night at about 9 or 10 months. Even with my second, who slept through the night much sooner (at three months or something like that) her sleep patterns shifted frequently enough that I couldn't reliably chart until she was much older. Not getting a period however, isn't necessarily indicative of not ovulation-I know several people who have gotten pregnant while nursing before menstruation returned-they're all people who have practiced extended breastfeeding, and their children were older when they got pregnant, but menstruation hadn't returned.

Congratulations on the new baby.

As for my cycles-with my first, I got pregnant when she was about 10 months old-I had a weird, probably anovulatory cycle at around 9 months, then got pregnant (semi-planned...we'd planned to have another child, I just wasn't expecting to get pregnant quite so soon, and I did use Clomid to get pregnant with both of my kids) on my next cycle. With my second, my periods didn't come back until she was about 14 months old.

[inkster.livejournal.com]

Figures that I just lent my copy to a friend like last week since I figured I was done with it. That's a good point - I'm not sure if I'm sleeping enough for it to be accurate. He does sleep well, and it's mostly around the same times (and my temps didn't fluctuate that much with some variations in waking time), but it's not always consistent (for example, last night he slept the entire night, which sounds awesome except I was up checking on him every couple of hours when he didn't wake me up, and my boobs were so full and painful!). And I also wake up a lot on my own (usually I'm awake before him and I'm waiting for him to wake up).

I'm thinking I'll be okay with a surprise pregnancy that might be a bit earlier than I'd like if I could actually plan it in a few months, but it's definitely not something I'm wanting now.

[archangelbeth]

I don't know 1.

2: The Naturalamb condoms (an "imprint" of Trojan), made of lambskin, feel really good to me. The usual warnings: they are expensive as heck, they are anti-vegan, and (though not a consideration in your case, I suspect) they do not protect vs. STIs.

3: It means that you're not ovulating. Until you do. In which case, you go from not-ovulating, to ovulating, and then about 2 weeks later, you get your first post-partum period. (Which is how my mom got pregnant after me; her story is that she was thinking it might be time to start using the diaphragm again, and, oh, about a month or two too late.)

Actually, that's a point -- would you be interested in being fitted for a diaphragm? They are supposed to be used with spermicide, but there's a study that suggests they also work quite well "dry," and there are also home-made spermicide options like... lemon juice and aloe-vera gel, I think it is?

[inkster.livejournal.com]

I hadn't really thought about a diaphragm. Or I had, but not really. How do they fit them? Are they comfortable and easy to put in? I'll do some research and see what I can find out.

[archangelbeth]

I really don't know how they're fitted. My mom seemed to like hers well enough. I preferred Naturalamb condoms. *wry grin*

[morwensdoor.livejournal.com]

Tell me more about homemade spermicide! Nonoxynol-9 is naaaasty.

[archangelbeth]

Lemme see if I can dig it up...

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8403903?dopt=Abstract is the study of using diaphragms "dry"...

Now, note that home made spermicide has not had a lot of testing. Its true effectiveness in killing sperm is unknown. Paired with a diaphragm or other method, it likely wouldn't reduce the effectiveness beyond "dry."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spermicide has an overview of the topic.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1493713 discusses the use of soft-drinks as spermicides. Since sperm get into the uterus quickly, I would personally not advise douching with a soft-drink -- despite what this rather odd study seems to be hoping for. Further, the yeast infection potential makes my nether regions clamp down. However, mixing something into a gel medium, such as aloe vera, would be something that would be interesting to study.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12268230 is an overview of some historical spermicides, but isn't very useful aside from the little gem of: "Contraceptive pills were already used around 2000 BC in the form of mercury and arsenic tablets. Their effectiveness was questionable."

http://www.aids.net.au/aids-lemons.pdf notes that a 20% lemon juice solution will seriously mess with HIV in the lab.

http://www.moondragon.org/obgyn/contraception/spermicides.html has a selection of homemade recipes. As it notes, "there are no defined studies as to their reliability in preventing pregnancy." Don't use them alone if being pregnant would be a major problem. (On the other hand, if you are experimental and open to the idea of becoming pregnant, pick a recipe, chart your use of the recipe, and see what happens over the course of a year? O;D )

[lux-roark.livejournal.com]

http://fam-breastfeed.livejournal.com/profile
There's actually a community just for that! I just found it right now through Google.

I did FAM while breastfeeding. It was easier for me because my period came back at 8 weeks postpartum and that was with exclusive breastfeeding until 10 months old. So it's possible to do. I hope you get more answers!

[inkster.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the community suggestion, I didn't even know it was there.

[shdwcat.livejournal.com]

#2: My bf likes the ones with the "roomy head," like One Pleasure Dome condoms. He actually hates the thin kind because they're hard to put on and they kinda restrict more. (Tbh it all feels the same to me. @_@)

[bludwyn.livejournal.com]

I love the Skyn condoms by Lifestyles. Makes sure you get the "Skyn" kind and not the "Thyn" kind, the "Thyn" ones have this really weird burning sensation (and I'm not allergic to latex in the slightest, and have heard this from other people)

[arkeiryn.livejournal.com]

Seconding this suggestion ;) (Not sure where you're from, so I thought I'd say that they're marketed as Mates Skyns (http://matesskyn.co.uk/product.html) in the UK.)

The Thyn condoms burning is probably a lube issue. I haven't tried them (latex doesn't like me) but I've had the same issue with the Durex non-latex condoms, and Durex lube in general.

[morwensdoor.livejournal.com]

I have also heard great things about the skyn condoms.

[nickelshoe.livejournal.com]

Lactational amenorrhea is as effective as the pill. I looked up some info for someone else who posted recently: http://vaginapagina.livejournal.com/20176076.html

To do it right, you have to feed on demand at least every four hours (so wake the baby up at night if it is sleeping longer than that). If you get your period, you can assume you're fertile. Once you hit 6 months post partum, even if you haven't gotten your period, you shouldn't assume you're still infertile (but you might be).

Things that are supposed to increase effectiveness: don't use anything other than the boob--pumping and pacifiers don't keep your hormones going like nursing does; be close to your baby all the time--cosleep, babywear, etc.

All that said, I don't feel comfortable relying on it, even though I used to rely on condoms, which are less effective than LAM. I really really don't want to get pregnant right away, if ever.

[inkster.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I missed that post the first time around.

[nickelshoe.livejournal.com]

No problem--the bit about breastfeeding was under a cut, so no big deal you didn't read the post.

[sweetchild92.livejournal.com]

Pleasure Plus condoms come highly recommended, although I haven;t personally tried them. Try different brands, have fun experimenting with it!

[pixietangerine.livejournal.com]

What about the withdrawal method? Scarleteen.com says it's 96% effective with perfect use, 73-82% effective with typical use. That's pretty similar to condom efficacy. If you're exclusively breastfeeding and haven't gotten your period back, you're technically already using a form of natural BC...combine that with withdrawal and you've got some pretty decent protection against pregnancy.