not for everyone

[oopsohmy.livejournal.com]

I thought I would share my abortion experience.


I went in to get a vacuum aspiration abortion last thursday. my regular gynecologist's office wouldn't talk to me about the procedure, and referred me to another clinic. I called that clinic expecting to have to go in for counseling, but instead they just played a 3 minute recording about my options and the risks of abortion over the phone. after I listened to it I was allowed to make my appointment.

I went to the clinic, which was completely ghetto. they had indicated that they do a lot of abortions, and I am willing to bet that it provides the majority of their income, since I don't know who would want to go there for a general doctor's visit.

the nurse prepared me by taking my blood pressure and temperature, and asking me a few questions. she told me to undress from the waist down and lay on the table. the air conditioning must have been turned down to about 60 degrees at that place.

the doctor came in and got right to work. I never got to see the machine, but he explained what he was doing as he went. first he inserted the speculum, then grabbed my cervix with some kind of tool (I had heard that this might hurt, but I didn't even really feel it.) then he inserted the tube attatched to the suction machine. he said that it might hurt like cramps, but it hurt worse than anything I could've imagined. the pain got worse until I was writhing up and away from his instruments and he had to stop. he told me to tell him when I was ready to go on, but I didn't think I'd EVER be ready. finally I just told him to go ahead.

I didn't cry.

the majority of the cramping went away within 3 or 4 minutes of the procedure being over. the entire thing took about 20 minutes. my boyfriend copped out on coming with me at the last minute. I thought I wanted to be alone. I still don't know what would've been best.

I felt cramping on and off for the next 2 days. sometimes it was barely noticeable, and sometimes it felt like my insides were falling out. it has been 4 days now, and I am still experiencing intermittent pain.

I am extremely scared of getting pregnant again, because I don't think I would go through this experience again. however... I am not sorry. I am even more confident now that I made the right decision.

so there you are. for posterity.

Comments

[harpseal.livejournal.com]

wow.. thank you for sharing, i'm sorry you had to go through that, but i'm glad you did what is right for you.

*hugz and painkillers*

[toomuchwine.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing that!

*hugs*

[ravenswood.livejournal.com]

you are a brave woman. THank you for sharing your story.

[tyrsalvia.livejournal.com]

Like others have said, thank you for sharing.

[bmagsgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel better knowing that other women have gone through the same thing as me and can talk about it. Hopefully one day I will be able to talk about it.

[oopsohmy.livejournal.com]

I almost feel like it is my responsibility to share with other women. why should I have to hide what happened to me? abortion is a legal and viable option when you do not feel that you can continue a pregnancy for any number of reasons.

that being said, I understand the reasons why you might not be able to discuss it so openly. if you ever DO want to get anything out there, please feel free to email me.

[scene-stealer.livejournal.com]

it sounds like you have not had the best experience and that's too bad. i know it's not like this for everyone. and i know personally, but i am not brave like you to share w/everyone. or anyone really for that matter.
i'm sorry the bf copped out since he should own up too but i can understand him not being able to deal w/it. i do hope you have someone as support tho, because you do need it.
and good for you in being confident in your decision. it should be everyone's right to choose and not be ashamed.

[oopsohmy.livejournal.com]

it should be everyone's right to choose and not be ashamed

thank you, and I agree. it IS everyone's right to choose and not be ashamed.

[mejane-83.livejournal.com]

If you're scared of getting pregnant, get on birth control ASAP!

[oopsohmy.livejournal.com]

I have actually started hormonal birth control. (I got pregnant while I was waiting the month to start a new method, incidentally)

thanks for the advice, tho.

[oopsohmy.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY.

thank you. I am afraid that this fear will fuck up my sex life. let's hope not.

[melisshki.livejournal.com]

If you don't mind me asking, you got pregnant while on the pill? I know there's always a little chance that it could happen, but did you forget to take some of the pills that month? I only ask this because I'm on the pill and that's always a little fear in the back of my mind. Sorry if this question is too forward.

[xxundyingxx.livejournal.com]

wow. thank you for sharing. hope it doesnt happen again

[oopsohmy.livejournal.com]

actually, I really like my gyn. I don't even know how she feels about this whole thing, since my initial 'positive test' phone call came from a generic nurse, and I can't really afford an additional trip to the doctor just to get her opinion on things.

I plan on seeing her in a few weeks, and talking things out then.

[euphonism.livejournal.com]

ouch :/ i had my first abortion last month, and not to rub it in your face or anything, but it went off perfectly. didn't you have any drugs before the procedure started? i had the whole vacuum thing done too, but i was put on something sort of like morphine (a lesser extent of it), and although i was fully awake, i was definitely drugged up. i didn't feel a thing. sorry to hear about yours.

[kreie.livejournal.com]

That's a lot like my own abortion experience. Actually, eerily like it. The doctor who performed my abortion, um, well, the teeth he had left were gold. And my boyfriend copped out on me as well. My advice would be to leave the bastard, which is what I did, and it's among the best things I've ever done.

[melisshki.livejournal.com]

Really, thank you for sharing that. It must be difficult, but you'll somehow get through. I admire women like you who make decisions like that for yourselves. It gives other women strength to follow suit, if they ever get into a similar situation.

[strand3d.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing. If you want to talk in more detail about your story, or just want some moral support don't hesistate to visit us over in abortionstories :)

[strand3d.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing. If you want to talk in more detail about your story, or just want some moral support don't hesistate to visit us over in abortionstories :)

[ex-tinker-be53.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing :):) You are brave to have gone through with it...it would have been my choice, too, in your circumstance. The pain that everyone describes really scares me...you are so brave...so tough! :*)

[bisoumouchette.livejournal.com]

now i know what 2 of my friends have gone through....if only i was there to support them [one lives in Maryland, and the other in Maine, and I in Virginia]. Thank you =]

[dokuya.livejournal.com]

i hope you feel better soon and i really really hope your sexlife will be good again. just look ahead!

??

[cityrah.livejournal.com]

Weren't you given any kind of painkiller?!?

Women should not have to feel that kind of pain in this circumstance. Many women don't experience that amount of pain when they are GIVING BIRTH. I think "ghetto" is the right word for this place.

[sourgirli.livejournal.com]

that sounds really scary. but thanks for sharing. i too, am now very very scared of getting pregnant. *makes doctor appt for blood test*.

again, thanx
xox