is it normal for intercourse to be painful at first?

[chipie.livejournal.com]

Where do you all stand on the should-intercourse-be-painful-at-first debate?  (A debate that may or may not only exist in my head.)

I've always believed that there was no reason why first-time intercourse would be painful.  Especially if you've been sexually active before, use lots of lube, are turned on, have no problems with tampons or fingers, etc.

But that's what I did when I first started having intercourse, and it was still really painful.  Since then, over the course of one year or so, I've probably had/attempted intercourse about 20 times, maybe more.  The pain I've been having basically feels like there just isn't enough room in my vagina, if that makes sense.  Nothing seems to help it and it hasn't gotten better with time.

I've now given up (temporarily, I hope) because I don't think it should be this painful, and I don't like birth control.  But I also wonder if the pain was normal.  Maybe if I had just kept going it would eventually have gone away?

What do you all think?  It is normal for intercourse to be painful the first few/many times?  Or does that signal a problem? 

(I am going to see a doctor about it anyway, but I'm just wondering what the consensus is on this.  My friends are really divided, and I'm confused!)

Comments

[arkeiryn.livejournal.com]

For me, if I haven't had PIV in a while, it usually hurts/stings a bit, like I'm being stretched further than I can be -- I think my boyfriend is unusually wide in the penis department, but he is the only guy I have had sex with so I don't actually know. But I've never had it actually hurt, like hurt so much that you don't want to have sex. That, to me, seems indicative of something amiss.

[chipie.livejournal.com]

That's interesting. I would describe the pain like you said "being stretched further than I can be", but it definitely hurts enough to not want to keep going. But I wonder if I was overreacting about the pain. For example, if I had the same amount of pain during menstrual cramps, I wouldn't take anything for it, but I definitely don't want to be feeling that level of pain during sex.

I'm going to see a doctor anyway though, so we'll see, thank you!