Relying Solely on Condoms?

[sweetoldetc.livejournal.com]

Hi all.



I am 21 and have never had PIV sex before, largely because I have simply not felt ready. Recently, however, I do feel like that is something I am more comfortable with (for a variety of reasons) and, as I am about to leave for Europe to study abroad for 4 1/2 months, it seems to me there is a real possibility of hookups/relationships in my near future.

I'm loath to start any sort of hormonal birth control, however, both because I'm about to leave the country for several months (making it more difficult to address complications or make adjustments in any sort of regimen) and because I don't know if/when I'll actually have sex - thus, I don't really want to potentially endure some of the side effects of HBC if there's no real reason to, if that makes sense.



So, my question is, is it irresponsible, or at the least unwise, to rely solely on condoms as a means of birth control? I realize they're 98 percent effective when used correctly, and I would absolutely ensure my (hypothetical) partner and I are using them correctly, but I'm just curious if anyone actually relies on condoms alone and has had long-term success with this.

I don't plan on making this a long-term solution; if I do become sexually active over the next few months I will obtain some sort of HBC when I get home. But, in the mean time, I want to make sure I'm being smart about this.

Thank you!

Edit: Thank you for all the feedback! I feel very much reassured.

Comments

[lenny-maybe.livejournal.com]

it is definitely not irresponsible to rely solely on condoms for birth control. as well as preventing pregnancy, they are a good way to prevent the spread of STIs, which hormonal birth control doesn't do. (in australia, at least) it is advised to use condoms in any new sexual relationship.

i'm currently using only hormonal birth control (implanon), but only had it inserted a year ago. up until then, i was using condoms with my sexual partners. i was taking oral birth control pills in the six months leading up to having the implanon inserted, but was shocking at remembering to take it and wasn't confident enough in it to rely on that alone. i did take emergency contraception three times following condom breakages, but aside from that have not had a pregnancy scare.

hope that info helps.

[ahota84.livejournal.com]

I think it's really up to you and your comfort level. If you're willing to take the risk that condoms don't always work perfectly, then just use condoms.

I just use condoms for STDs, at least. If I didn't have an IUD I would just use condoms, because I'm willing to accept what may happen if something goes wrong.

[ahota84.livejournal.com]

*preventing* STDs, lol

[xthehuntress.livejournal.com]

Yes, I have had long term success with condoms as the only source of birth control. It took my partner and I a while to trust only condoms (we used to add pull out in addition to condoms), but that's soon how we finished for years. I think we used only condoms for at least 3 years straight with no ripping or tearing or anything. So as long as you make sure they're being used correctly, I would be comfortable to use them alone personally.

[filthy-lily.livejournal.com]

I relied solely on condoms in a long 4 year relationship and never had a problem.

Condoms are some of the most reliable birth control you can use. for added security, if you have regular periods and track your monthly cycle you can try to avoid sex when you are ovulating. Mymonthycycles.com is a good tool for that.

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

For your own peace of mind, you may wish to have ec on hand in case of a breakage, or at least know how to get it in the area you are visiting.

[sweetoldetc.livejournal.com]

This is something I had already planned on scoping out, but yes, very good advice.

[ethuil.livejournal.com]

I don't know where in Europe you're going - but if it's the UK, you can buy emergency contraception over the counter :)

It's quite expensive, but saves going to a doctor.

[sweetoldetc.livejournal.com]

Actually going to Germany - anyone have any insight there?

[paraxeni.livejournal.com]

I believe it's prescription only in Germany. Last time I checked was about 6 months ago though, so I may not be accurate!

I'd recommend trying to get a couple of packs to take with you.

[dial-zero.livejournal.com]

Even for non-citizens, though?

[sweetoldetc.livejournal.com]

Just did a quick search - looks like their closest facility for me is in Frankfurt (just about an hour train ride, so not too bad). Thanks for the tip!

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

It's most definitely not irresponsible or unwise to choose to use solely condoms!

Here's the bottom line: no contraceptive choice is "irresponsible" or "unwise" if it's a good fit for the person choosing it. What's responsible and wise for one person may not be a good fit for the next, and that's something we promote very strongly here on VP.

There's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to contraception; what there is is a balance of contraceptive needs, awareness and acceptance of usage and risk, and how that fits with your individual life. HBC is not the "default" contraception and many people (myself included) choose not to use it, for many reasons, and instead find our "responsible and wise" method in something else.

What I can tell you is that many millions of people choose to rely solely on condoms; it's a common contraceptive choice, whether for short- or long-term relationships. I know there are quite a few folks here in VP who have been with their partners for over a decade and have only used condoms for contraception in that time, so even if you did plan on making it a long-term solution, that's also a totally valid choice that many people make.

If you have any uncertainties about the efficacy rate, you can also look to combining a secondary non-hormonal method -- withdrawal (no ejaculation in the vagina) and the fertility awareness method (tracking the body's signs of ovulation, and taking extra precautions or practicing abstinence during fertile window) are both essentially free options with no side-effects that can increase your overall protection against pregnancy.

You can also combine condom use with spermicidal gels, foams or films -- note that the spermicidal lube that comes pre-added to some condoms does not add pregnancy protection -- though these can cause vaginal irritation for some bodies.

[sweetoldetc.livejournal.com]

A lot of good information, puts things into perspective - thank you very much!

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

I agree that there are definite cons that people should look into before deciding to give it a try; that said, as with anything else, the issue of whether or not the cons outweigh the benefits really depends on the individual. Many people are comfortable with the use of spermicides, particularly as a back-up method.

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

When used alone, spermicide is the second-least effective method of contraception, (http://www.contraceptivetechnology.org/table.html) ahead of the sponge in parous women. However, while it's less common as a sole contraceptive method for that reason, some people choose to use it as a back-up or in conjunction with other methods, especially barrier methods.

To clarify some things:

And as far as it's ability to prevent pregnancy, the WHO reports that it's really only effective when used with a cervical cap.

Not exactly -- the WHO found that using spermicides with diaphragms and cervical caps improved both the efficacy of the caps / diaphragm and spermicide by a moderate amount, not that it's only effective when used with a diaphragm or cervical cap. Spermicide does have efficacy when used on its own, as per the efficacy tables linked above.

There's no evidence it's even effective with condom use.

That's not quite what the WHO found. As mentioned in my original comment, there's no evidence that condoms that come lubricated with spermicide offer additional pregnancy protection, which is what the WHO found. (This is almost certainly because the amount of spermicide on a pre-lubed condom, and the failure to place it directly the cervix, basically means that spermicidally-lubed condoms don't work the way spermicide must work.)

However, using stand-alone spermicide does have stand-alone efficacy, which it does share with concurrent condom use -- so while it isn't necessarily an ultra-popular method of contraception, it continues to have a place for many people, especially as a back-up method.

Since there are people here on VP who have made an educated choice to use spermicides as part (or all) of their contraceptive plan, and since it remains a viable option for anyone to consider, I don't think it's accurate to state that people would only be comfortable with it because they aren't aware of the "consequences." The pros and cons of any contraceptive method balance out differently for different people -- as always, everyone is advised to weigh the information and their needs and experiences, and decide for themselves.

[nakedfaery.livejournal.com]

I rely on condoms for contraception as I have no other choice.

[lilac-ribbon.livejournal.com]

I used to rely only on condoms during all my sexual relationships, and they've worked fine. Only once did it fail on me (as in, it came off inside) but the bf pulled out waaaay before the act was finished. So all good!

Also, I live in Germany and emergency contraception is not hard to get. If you have insurance, bring proof of this with you before you leave and then you can go to any doctor, explain, and then get a prescription. It's really not hard. If you don't have insurance, head to a doctor anyway and they'll explain costs and stuff, though it's probably not expensive.

Mind you, everyone in Germany has to be covered by health insurance, so if you're coming to study abroad, I think you would have to be covered by your program.

[archangelbeth]

For the first ten years of our marriage, my spouse and I used condoms exclusively. The only scares were due to my undiagnosed hypothyroid (and stress) playing "Ha, ha, got your period!" No pregnancies till we deliberately ditched the contraception.

Now we use exhaustion, lack of privacy, and non-PIV a lot... *grump* But condoms alone are the most common when we do have PIV sex, and still no pregnancies from it.

So I see nothing irresponsible about using condoms.

I will note that some cultures, in the US or out of it, may be big on the "real men go bareback" meme, and have heard the occasional story of some guy stealth-ditching the condom. You may wish to be extra-sure to pay attention to your instincts -- if you feel like someone is pushing you too fast, is too glib about using condoms, or is too "aw, mom, do I gotta?" about it... Don't get into a sexual situation with them if you can avoid it.

I hope you have fun on your trip!

[draiochta-faol.livejournal.com]

My husband and I rely solely on condoms. My hormones are pretty sensitive to change and I would rather not have HBC in my body, so that is the method we chose. It works well for us. We have had no slip ups and 2 planned pregnancies.

[quietchildae.livejournal.com]

Another "I used condoms for years" here. I only started HBC recently to help control my periods. Previously, I had always used condoms for my birth control, and haven't had a problem. It does take a little more attention, in my experience, to make sure the condom is intact and such, but it's never been a big deal for me.

[tacky-tramp.livejournal.com]

I've used condoms-only for most of my sexually active life.

[lilsongbird.livejournal.com]

I have only really relied on condoms most of the years I've been sexually active. I've had brief periods of being on the pill to try regulate my periods, but it was determined the pill is too great a health risk to me so condoms are my sole means of contraception with men. I have never once had even a scare using condoms... compaired to several when I relied on HBC

[poetic-scribe.livejournal.com]

I have used condoms as a means for birth control with success. But with constant reminders from my mom that my youngest sibling is the result of a broken condom (not to say she doesn't love him dearly), there's a lot of stress put on the possibility of failure. So I always feel more comfortable using condoms with a spermicidal lubricant. It helps decrease the possibility of failure and adds peace of mind.

[helenkacan.livejournal.com]

I used condoms between the ages of 40-50 (when I could no longer take hbc) and no problems.

It's my belief that the concept that CONDOMS DON'T WORK (yes, I'm yelling deliberately) is yet another misconception passed on to teens by promoters of Abstinence Only sex education. So, what's one of the easiest way to scare kids? Tell them that the most easily available and fairly cheap contraceptive (off a drugstore shelf) doesn't work. ::growls in frustration::

[sweetoldetc.livejournal.com]

And this was exactly why I came here and posted - the statistics say properly used condoms are highly effective, but I just feel like I've been inundated with so many horror stories of their failure that I'm not sure what to trust. But I knew VP would tell it to me straight :)

[frolicnaked.livejournal.com]

It may be worth noting that failures resulting from typical use include folks who use a method inconsistently in addition to incorrectly. That is, the ~15% annual failure rate includes couples who don't use a condom for every episode of PIV, who choose to discontinue condoms but don't begin using a different method, etc.

And I'm not sure if this is the case for anyone else, but I know that a lot of my pre-VP sex education failed to be completely forthcoming with those sorts of circumstances as contributing factors to typical use failure rates.

[waveringradiant.livejournal.com]

I've used condoms as my only source of birth control since I became sexually active and the only problem I've ever had was having one slip off inside of me once.

As long as you are careful and use them properly, they are highly effective.