HBC and Baby fever?

[elephantus45.livejournal.com]

I've seen posts about baby fever/baby rabies here before but not quite like this...

I have never, ever, wanted kids.  Just as recently as a year and a half ago I could not stand children.  My neighbors have very loud noisy kids, and theres lots of crying babies in my complex.  I remember being so bothered by the crying all the time, I had no sympathy for it at all.  At this time I had a paragard, and I loved it for the lack of hormones.  Since then things have changed.  I was diagnosed with endometriosis (via lap- almost lost my ovary during the sugery), got a Mirena,  was on Lupron injections, and spent some time in a medical anthropology class where the professor was pregnant.  In this class we had to read about women being pregnant, their experiences, feelings, things like that and I started to actually think about being pregnant when I never had given it a second thought.  The next semester we got to see a lot of the baby- and I must say he's a real cutie.

Since being on the Lupron I've been having baby fever so horribily.  I've been off the lupron for about two months and I still have the urges to reproduce and I'm trying to figure out if its because of these hormones?  Or because I'm getting older? (I'm only 23!)  Or maybe its because I'm getting married sometime this summer/fall?  I mean, my partner and I have discussed baby names!  (I had one bout of baby fever with a previous partner, but I think it was his fault, all his friends were having babies at that time.  It lasted maybe a month, and I'm sooo glad now nothing came of it)  This is so out of nature for me.  I don't want to have this baby fever, then have a kid or two, and realize these feelings were not *mine* but caused by artificial hormones?

Has anyone noticed an increase in baby fever while on HBC?  Or related to any of the other things I mentioned? (being around pregnant lady and then her baby?  Or because of an upcomming wedding or something maybe I'm reaching here...)


(Oh and just thought I'd mention- I've been having baby dreams!  Frequently.  Its kind of getting annoying- sometimes they are toddlers, but generally newborns and there's generally two of them.  They are such vivid dreams to argh)

Comments

[cailin-t.livejournal.com]

It could just be the biological clock ticking. I used to abhor children too. They were annoying, messy, obnoxious little brats. But now I'm getting older and the clock is ticking and I find myself wanting to get my genes into the next generation afterall!

[elephantus45.livejournal.com]

I feel like I'm too young for my clock to tick! Lol. I just wish I could tell if it were really me, or because of the hormones (it was BAD on the lupron- it was 'oh I feel so old' hot flash hot flash baby want baby want haha) Since it settled down since then I feel like its not really me wanting it.

[cailin-t.livejournal.com]

i have never been on hbc so i can't speak to that, but i'm sure it's possible. hormones do all sorts of crazy stuff to people!

[elialshadowpine.livejournal.com]

Not too young. The only time I've ever had a "clock tick" was when I was a period of time when I was 19. I was having lots of dreams, my partners at the time wanted more kids, and yeah... it's literally the only time in my life I've ever wanted kids; I've been saying I don't want them since I was 15 or so (and am 25 now).

People like to say the bio clock kicks in at 30 but that's not always true. Hormone changes mean it can really be anytime.

[elephantus45.livejournal.com]

I know, but I FEEL too young. I mean I've only recently started acting like an adult (you know, being independent of family because of school, paying bills on time, keeping up with housework all those things I didn't have to do when I was younger). So I guess mental age is what I really mean when I say I'm too young. (not to say I wasn't independent when I was younger just when I went to university I couldn't do it on my own and I'm grateful for the rents for helping as much as they did).

[elephantus45.livejournal.com]

Yeah, my Mirena is only 6 months old, so its not going anywhere for a good long time haha. (And I would rather like to enjoy being married for a bit before having another needy person :D)

[bernthewitch.livejournal.com]

THIS. We got married a year and a half ago (after being together for 5 years) and we're STILL not ready for kids, despite nosey busy-body friends and relatives insisting otherwise.

[ecto-gammat.livejournal.com]

It could definitely be a combination of everything. A friend of mine is 24 and very much wants to be a mother, and, although she knows she's not ready for a baby in any way, she still gravitates to dating men with children. She only recently started practicing safe sex (after numerous threats of bodily harm from her sister and I), and mentions occasionally that she "feels her clock ticking".

On my old HBC, I would occasionally get baby rabies when I was near/currently ovulating (I'm not sure with this new one, as I haven't had a break in pills yet). A ton of my friends from high school and college are either married, engaged, have kids, are pregnant, wantkidswantkidsomgwantkids, and I'm just trying to find a steady job and enjoy what bit is left of my "youth" (I'm 24).

The upcoming nuptials might also play a part, considering it's "normal" to get married and "start a family". Screw that noise. You and your husband can be a perfect family just the two of you.

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

I'm in total agreement with this post, except for this part:
On my old HBC, I would occasionally get baby rabies when I was near/currently ovulating
On HBC, you don't ovulate. (Unless it's the Mirena, in which case you sometimes ovulate, but that's not really HBC.) So when did you get baby rabies? Halfway through your cycle when you would have been ovulating, had your ovaries not been hypnotized? Right before your period?

But social pressure, however unconscious, yes, this totally could play a part. So could hormonal fluctuations, but those are much more limited when on HBC.

[ecto-gammat.livejournal.com]

You're right. Mea culpa. It would start about 2/3 the way through the pack and end a day or two before bleeding started. I was also on a triphasic pill, so that may have had something to do with it.

[chasing-breezes.livejournal.com]

No idea about whether the hormones play a part in it but I was engaged at 23 and that's when I started thinking babies. Up until then I was pretty adamant that I was never having any.

Allegedly, the age of peak fertility is during your early- to mid-twenties so I suppose it would kind of make sense for baby urges to set in about now, though it would be nice if biology would keep up with cultural trends. Personally I put it down to thinking a lot about our new family and what our plans where. I felt (and still feel) that we have a great, stable relationship, its seems too good to *not* expand on it.

[elephantus45.livejournal.com]

I think the stability of the relationship probably adds to it. I've never had that before.

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

I'm going to blather about myself briefly, and maybe I can try to answer your question in the process.

Like you, I've never wanted kids (and am on the Mirena). Possibly not like you, I've never been in a serious relationship until this one (15 months). My boyfriend doesn't want kids either, and when I got a Mirena and we stopped using condoms, we decided that if I got knocked up, we'd get an abortion.

His brother has a year-old baby. Now, I personally really like kids--I'm a teacher!--but I can't stand babies. They're boring, they're fragile, and even though the cries of other peoples' babies usually don't bother me, I know from my little sister that cries of my kin are extremely grating. My boyfriend's nephew is so freaking cute though! He's seriously the cutest, calmest, most interesting baby I've ever met!

I found myself musing that having a baby wouldn't be that bad. Maybe the M family genes are just so laid back, and they'd counteract my neurotic family genes and we'd have a chill baby like his nephew. I've tackled a lot of the mental issues that made me think I would make an awful mother. And above all, I'm actually in a relationship, and now see myself as the kind of person who enjoys being in a relationship and maybe even is decent as a partner.

But I'm not about to pull out my Mirena and get knocked up, because I know that being in grad school is pretty much the worst time for me to have a kid. I also am an incredible cynic about relationships, and can't depend on being in this relationship five years from now. (I know it's totally possible to be a single parent.)

I really think that the security of my brain and heart right now have primed me to consider reproducing. It's like my brain (or ovaries) note the regular sex, the happier mood and go "baby time now?" Just like ovulating doesn't make you emotionally ready to be a mom, baby rabies doesn't indicate much, either! It just means that part of you is bending to biological imperative.

[elephantus45.livejournal.com]

I can relate...I've never been in a relationship where I could see having a future with the person before (and not being scared of that future). I'm currently applying to gradschools and I know I'll have to do field work and the timing is all wrong for a baby, it would ruin all my plans! I never planned my future as getting married and having a kid by 24/25 anyway. My best friend has a 2 year old and she is the best good natured todder ever, but I can't stand her for very long. Yes, mirena is staying put for quite a while. (If only I could mother a puppy or kitten or something...but no pets in my condo boo).

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

You could offer to babysit for your friend. I bet she'd appreciate it, and having a sufficiently long babysitting stint would remind you why you were child free in the first place.

[elephantus45.livejournal.com]

That would be a great idea, except we don't live in the same state any more :( She did come to visit for a week and a half, I'm trying to remember what the kid was like during her fits haha.

[bernthewitch.livejournal.com]

LORD I hear ya. I'm 27 and my baby rabies kicked in around 16. Then again at 22 and 24. Then again last year. They only last three or four months though, then I go back to thinking "yeah, but I wouldn't get any SLEEP" or "But what about popping out for a drive just because?". It helps that on my Facebook the majority of my friends have newborns: I get to see the BAD side of having kids via statuses and it keeps things in perspective for me. I need that to quell the MUST BREED NAO information my hormones send me.

My poor husband. We've been married for a year and a half, but have been together since 2004. He wants kids but isn't ready for them (like myself) and has to deal with these bouts of "lets go look at prams!" and "oh it doesn't matter if I don't get my HBC this month does it". Criminy... Hormones play hell with your mind... O_O

[elephantus45.livejournal.com]

Eesh I feel like I could stand this for 4 months or so but honsetly its almost been a year! My friends are starting their second round of kids, most of them. But they don't post nearly enough negative stuff haha.

[untouchablejodz.livejournal.com]

having one of those "loud and noisey" kids you were talking of, for 5 yrs straight there was no mention of having more kids, in fact if anyone had allowed it, I would have cut my tubes..

About 2 yrs ago, i NEEDED more children but my partner was not on the same page, we went without.. I have had a lot of friends fall pregnant, have kids, have more kids and for a good 18 months, i too was inundated with all things baby (very hard to deal with when I already had the "want; there already)..

About 6 months ago, the feeling passed, whilst i still have friends with kids and who are pregnant they are not my close friends/around all the time; thus the urge to have more has pretty much almost gone *it does cross my mind but that's due to conversations my partner and I have had about whether we are planning on it anymore, so we can make adjustments etc*

So i do really think it's who/what is your influence/surroundings.. I do think that has a massive part to play.

But what does it for me, (turns me off) is the thought of not working, being a SAHM. That killed me; and the idea of having to do it again really turns me off, which i think is what has kept us in the "are we or aren't we stage" for the past few months..

So to summarise my ramble. WAIT! it's probably nothing. see if when you change your surroundings your feelings change..

[shakeycat.livejournal.com]

22-24 is a big time for the baby rabies, even with real hormones.

[elephantus45.livejournal.com]

I was relieved when my period finally came- after all these months of babywant and then the chance it could be possible only to not be. Its soo many emotions almost lol.

And thanks for coming out of your dormancy to post :)