[identity profile] creativexangst.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] vaginapagina
I need to ask a question thats so stupid, it's going behind a cut.

How, praytell, does a women have sex with another women? Now I realize this is a stupid question, especially for me because I've dated women before-but truthfully, we never went very far, and I've had threesomes, which consisted of the girls making out and the guy pounding me. So how does it work? I've only gone down on a chick once, and it was what gave me the courage to have guys go down on me (OH! This isnt gross at all!!) Anyway, I have a couple that adore me, and I them back, and I'm very interested in both of them, but as she started out as gay before meeting her husband, I dont want to disappoint. Any ideas/tips/tricks would be great. I feel silly that I've made it to my 20's being bi and not really getting it. My biggest problem is that I've never watched hardcore porn before, methinks. Thanks!!
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Date: 2010-04-15 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] betterbebalboa.livejournal.com
Yes to this. Just touch her all over and do what makes her make pleased sounds. Ask her what she wants, do what you enjoy having people do to you. Use your fingers and toys and mouth. Have fun!

Date: 2010-04-15 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leeshers.livejournal.com
I totally just googled tribadism. :) once I read I realised I had heard of this, but didnt know the formal name. Thanks for the education!

Date: 2010-04-16 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chipie.livejournal.com
haha, me too! And at work, no less.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2010-04-16 06:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ecrivaine.livejournal.com
The Crash Pad series is AMAZING.

Date: 2010-04-15 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karmagoesdown.livejournal.com
I think it is certainly not a problem you haven't watched porn! People used to not see sex acts depicted and do just fine, its like.... you can bake a cake and you stir the batter whichever direction you want but now you can watch Martha bake one on tv and she says to stir the batter counter clockwise and you see her do it so that *must* be the right way when really, the cake tastes just as good when you stir the batter the other way.

Anyway, some porn is awesome, but it isn't a realistic and truthful instructional guide.

Date: 2010-04-15 03:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] persiascarecrow.livejournal.com
I recommend you read this book (http://www.amazon.com/Box-Lunch-Laypersons-Guide-Cunnilingus/dp/1555838499).

Date: 2010-04-15 04:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tacky-tramp.livejournal.com
There's a nice variety of sex scenes in the HBO series The L Word!

Date: 2010-04-15 02:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neonvultures.livejournal.com
Yay the L Word!

Date: 2010-04-15 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeldakitty.livejournal.com
not to be too picky, but wasn't that Showtime?

Date: 2010-04-15 04:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jeanbenetsassy.livejournal.com
I know the first time I had sex with another woman, I had no idea what I was doing, but once I was actually going down on her, everything came so naturally that I made her squirt!

My point is don't sweat it! Yall have similar equipment, so chances are at least some of what makes you feel good, or some variation thereof, will likely make her feel good, too. You can experiment with soft touch at first in different directions- ask (and listen and watch) for her feedback. It's important to remember that sexual communication is not always completely verbal. If she's moaning, breathing faster, or pushing herself closer to your hands/mouth when you're rubbing with a certain pressure or rotating your fingers in a certain rhythm/direction, keep it in mind for the other stuff you do and try it out with different parts of her body (like nipples, neck sucking, etc).

Also keep in mind that different girls have their own preferences, styles. It's sometimes really helpful to mutually masturbate- watch how she touches herself, with what pressure/direction/etc. See if she fingers herself. If she doesn't, ask her if she's ok with you penetrating her before you jump into fingering (it's only an assumption that all lesbians are into it!). You can learn a lot by watching, but also by asking to participate in her masturbation. Ask her what you can do to make it awesome, and see what she says. Then, when you're going to town on your own, you'll have a better idea of what her style is. (And she can do it for you, too! Yay mutual learning!)

Date: 2010-04-15 01:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katrina-splat.livejournal.com
There's usually a couple of decent vids on tribbing.org if you want to look at porn. I haven't done it myself but I would just say do what you feel, let them tell you what they like and perhaps you'll discover something they didn't know they liked!

Date: 2010-04-15 02:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paraxeni.livejournal.com
There is no one 'way' to have F/F sex, and the kind of thing you'll do during a threesome with a man involved will probably differ somewhat from the sex a female-bodied couple would have. You'll really have to just ask her what she likes. A big part of having open, honest, good sex is the ability to talk frankly about it. We can't tell you what she likes or wants, only she can. Lesbians aren't a hivemind, and no two women will have sex in the same way.

Oh and there's nothing 'gross' at all about anyone going down on anyone else. Oh and porn? Porn's got nothing to do with anything. In fact, women who've seen 'lesbian' porn and base their repertoire and way of thinking about sex on that, would certainly not be my choice of partner. Life's not like porn, unless you're a porn star, and porn should never, ever be used as a 'How to' guide, so stay as you are and use instinct and communication.

Date: 2010-04-15 02:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] atalanta0jess.livejournal.com
Yes, this.

I am partnered with a man, but honestly, if I was choosing a new sex partner, someone who had seen a lot of porn and thought it was instructional would not be someone who was at the top of my list. Porn =/= real sex!

Date: 2010-04-15 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paraxeni.livejournal.com
Yeah, two girls sucking on each end of a dildo, having 'oral' that not only leaves every facial feature exposed but never involves any wetness, and three inch fingernails - so not good. I cannot stomach any kind of 'girl-on-girl' (don't even get me started on how much that phrase creeps me out)pornography.

Exploring lesbianism through F/F porn is like watching Fiddler on the roof in preparation for conversion to Judaism.

Date: 2010-04-15 09:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thebipolarstar.livejournal.com
this cracked me up... i think the same things... there is nothing sexy about two girls sucking on each end of a dildo. at.all.

Date: 2010-04-15 08:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paraxeni.livejournal.com
It would be more of a "Don't do this" guide IMO.

Date: 2010-04-15 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drownophelia.livejournal.com
It all depends on the two women involved... but girl-on-girl sex is not so different to boy-on-girl sex, except there's no flesh-and-blood penis involved. There's oral sex, vaginal or anal sex with toys, manual internal or external stimulation of the vulva or anus, grinding, making out, SM, and more!

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