Explaining non-hormonal contraception to parent and charting tips/help

[katrina-splat.livejournal.com]

Hi there,

My Mum keeps calling me up and getting very vocal about all the 'risk' I'm taking by not being on the pill any more. I went off it for a few reasons, some not very well thought out at the time (I felt it was affecting my mood and libido -- while it's better now, I don't know if HBC was the cause of this). I feel better off the pill, perhaps it's just in my head. I like watching my body and seeing what it does, I like that I am not having as much dryness as when on HBC. I'm using a barrier method (condom) and keeping an eye on when I'm fertile (see below) as a combined method of contraception. Does anyone have any experience explaining this arrangement to a guardian? I live with my partner, and we are confident in our decision. I don't know how to help her stop worrying without going back to hormones, and I'm enjoying not being on them. I do know to a large extent it's not her business, and I could just lie to her, but I'd like to explain how this is an effective method too. Any up to date stats on how these combined methods work would be great as well.

I am also trying to chart my cycle, and while I'm guessing probably close when I'm ovulating from my period dates, I don't think it's as accurate as it could be. Does anyone have any good resources, even a book, that explains how to chart accurately? There's a few I've found online that seem to chart fertility but several of them needed a subscription payment. I don't have a thermometer on hand to check temperature, but I'm pretty good with noticing my mucus.

Thankyou for reading, I'm happy and confident about this but she has the ability to make me feel so stupid :(

Comments

[similartoitlike.livejournal.com]

Natural Birth Control Made Simple By Barbara Kass-Annese :]

[katrina-splat.livejournal.com]

Thankyou :).

[frolicnaked.livejournal.com]

Does anyone have any good resources, even a book, that explains how to chart accurately?

Toni Weschler's Taking Charge of Your Fertility (http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Reproductive/dp/0060937645) is pretty much the It Book when it comes to fertility awareness. There's also a companion website (http://www.tcoyf.com/). For actual charting, I prefer Fertility Friend (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/), though I've never read the how-to information there as it's mostly geared to folks TTC.


Any up to date stats on how these combined methods work would be great as well.

Scarleteen's page on the Buddy System (http://www.scarleteen.com/article/reproduction/the_buddy_system_effectiveness_rates_for_backing_up_your_birth_control_with_a_s) gives combined stats. According to it, male condoms plus fertility awareness are 99.96% effective with perfect use (about as good as HBC) and 97% effective with typical use (as good or better than HBC).


... I'd like to explain how this is an effective method too.

I'm not suggesting this is the only or best strategy, but I actually bought my mom her own copy of TCOYF and told her, "Why don't you read this, and then if you have more questions, we can talk?" Which, I'll be honest -- my motivation was that I was tired of explaining my reproductive health choices to her, and I basically wanted her to STFU. For me, I feel like my mom has a long history with me of asking questions that are really none of her business and then expressing disapproval/skepticism/etc. of my choices. And, well, I'm 28; I've played that game long enough, and I got tired of it. So I felt like encouraging her to do her own research: a) did provide her with a way to see that my reproductive health choices are well thought out; b) gave me a "way out" of continuing to answer all her questions.

[fireaphid.livejournal.com]

I agree with all of this!

[katrina-splat.livejournal.com]

Thanks for these...I appreciate it :)

[archangelbeth]

My spouse and I also use condoms (or occasionally a sponge and a crude "probably not going to be ovulating soon" calendar method, combined), and the only pregnancy was when we deliberately ditched all forms of contraception. (Some scares, yes, but all of the "I don't recall a condom-oops but where is my period??" form. Which was probably due at least in part to my undiagnosed hypothyroidism. Blah.)

Since the kid, we've also used a lot of non-PIV, since it's less exhausting, and the kid exhausts me a lot. O:p

[katrina-splat.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's kind of hard to say to a parent -- We're not rooting like bunnies after we've been living together for a year, so PIV is less frequent...so chances /are/...etc.

But yeah, it's good to hear all experiences of hormone free contraception, thanks!

[katrina-splat.livejournal.com]

Yep and there are people who've gotten pregnant stacking two or three forms...no arguing with mum-logic as to which heading I'd fall under ><.

[oceansolitude.livejournal.com]

Just checking cervical fluid is called the Billings method. I am sure there is a book or website that will tell you more. My mom is also skeptical, but it has been over a year for me with no pregnancy, so she has let it go.

[katrina-splat.livejournal.com]

Cool, I got a bit confused. yay for you :)

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I would seize this opportunity to do like frolicnaked said, and let her know that she is free to look things up and ask you questions, but that you do not have to explain yourself to her. It is really, really not her business, especially if she is going to make you feel stupid about it.

[katrina-splat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know...none of her business but you still crave approval from some people. I'll probably get over it, and hopefully she'll get more well-informed in the mean time.

[damnedemily.livejournal.com]

wow, srsly... none of her business!

[katrina-splat.livejournal.com]

It really isn't, but I'd rather have her support than not, if I can. Ah parents.

[tacky-tramp.livejournal.com]

My guess is, she's going to be worried no matter how you explain this or how many awesome resources you give her. Don't take ownership of her emotions. Give her the information, and if she can't process that rationally, shrug and accept that she's having an uninformed, emotional reaction. Totally normal.

[katrina-splat.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this, I appreciate your outlook, it helps :)

[kriscynical.livejournal.com]

For tracking my cycle I use cyclespage.com. It's free.

[katrina-splat.livejournal.com]

This looks supergood...easy and clear, thanks!

i have no real contribution

[jimmi-obadger.livejournal.com]

But i wanted to let you know that your user icon has made my day.

Re: i have no real contribution

[katrina-splat.livejournal.com]

Yay! I love it too :D Even though I have a lunette ;)