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vaginapaginajust a thought...
the phrase "protected sex" really bothers me because i think it's a misleading term.
most of the time, "protected" really connotates "sex with a condom" (or dental dam, but i'm speaking from a perspective of someone who has had sex only with men, so bear with me on this). at least in my experience.
it implies that sex minus a condom is sex with a risk of STDs (which is true in some cases but not in all). sex without a barrier method, no matter the situation, is defined as "unsafe". so no matter what you may use besides a barrier method and how committed of a relationship you may be in, you're having "unprotected" sex and not being "safe".
by extension, barrier methods are seen as the only "safe" way (pregnancy-proof), which kinda annoys me, because you can have sex without a barrier method and not get pregnant. there's about 242556554 other methods of not getting pregnant besides a condom. some of which work much better than condoms!
I apologize for the misleading statistic in this paragraph. I was not trying to provide incorrect information, it was merely a typo. I have removed it since others have more detailed explanations in the comments. Thanks.
ugh. i don't know. it just seems like a really prejudiced and limiting term to me. and i'm getting really sick of being tutted at for having "unprotected" sex by various doctors (all of whom have KNOWN i was on birth control). yes, i didn't use a freaking condom. that doesn't mean i'm unintelligent, being "unsafe", or wantonly risking STDs or pregnancy. yes, i know what they are. yes, i know how to use one. yes, i know the benefits of condoms (and the risks and drawbacks). yes, i can stand up to my boyfriend and tell him to use one, please do not advise me on how to do so.
although some of that attitude, i think, is based on the fact that i'm 18, and therefore, of course, couldn't
- have a committed relationships. cause, ya know, us teenagers just go from relationship to relationship and cheat on each other all the time, and know nothing about fidelity or serious relationships. i'm just sleeping with the entire football team.
- in which both of us are STD free. cause of course we'd be too immature to think about stuff like that, and stay safe and get tested. and all teenage boys are cheating on their girlfriends because they have that masculine high sex drive *gags*, so i should be making him use a condom cause he'll give me something!
- and have no risk of pregnancy*. because, you know, teenagers are all just having sex and half-assedly using the pull-out method, and half of the girls want to get preggers anyway, to keep the guy.
obviously i agree with none of the stereotypes i quoted above. i meant them in sarcasm.
i'm so sick of assumptions based on my age. if i was twenty-five, would doctors act in the same way towards my "unprotected" sex? possibly. probably not.
thoughts? apologies for turning this into a rant. it was at first just a thought about condoms and "protected sex" and i started thinking about instances in the past that emphasis has been put on condoms in my life.
* i will admit there are times in the past i have had a risk, or at least thought i had one, and did not use a condom - and hormonal birth control is not 100% foolproof. so i guess it's more of "an extremely low risk".
the phrase "protected sex" really bothers me because i think it's a misleading term.
most of the time, "protected" really connotates "sex with a condom" (or dental dam, but i'm speaking from a perspective of someone who has had sex only with men, so bear with me on this). at least in my experience.
it implies that sex minus a condom is sex with a risk of STDs (which is true in some cases but not in all). sex without a barrier method, no matter the situation, is defined as "unsafe". so no matter what you may use besides a barrier method and how committed of a relationship you may be in, you're having "unprotected" sex and not being "safe".
by extension, barrier methods are seen as the only "safe" way (pregnancy-proof), which kinda annoys me, because you can have sex without a barrier method and not get pregnant. there's about 242556554 other methods of not getting pregnant besides a condom. some of which work much better than condoms!
I apologize for the misleading statistic in this paragraph. I was not trying to provide incorrect information, it was merely a typo. I have removed it since others have more detailed explanations in the comments. Thanks.
ugh. i don't know. it just seems like a really prejudiced and limiting term to me. and i'm getting really sick of being tutted at for having "unprotected" sex by various doctors (all of whom have KNOWN i was on birth control). yes, i didn't use a freaking condom. that doesn't mean i'm unintelligent, being "unsafe", or wantonly risking STDs or pregnancy. yes, i know what they are. yes, i know how to use one. yes, i know the benefits of condoms (and the risks and drawbacks). yes, i can stand up to my boyfriend and tell him to use one, please do not advise me on how to do so.
although some of that attitude, i think, is based on the fact that i'm 18, and therefore, of course, couldn't
- have a committed relationships. cause, ya know, us teenagers just go from relationship to relationship and cheat on each other all the time, and know nothing about fidelity or serious relationships. i'm just sleeping with the entire football team.
- in which both of us are STD free. cause of course we'd be too immature to think about stuff like that, and stay safe and get tested. and all teenage boys are cheating on their girlfriends because they have that masculine high sex drive *gags*, so i should be making him use a condom cause he'll give me something!
- and have no risk of pregnancy*. because, you know, teenagers are all just having sex and half-assedly using the pull-out method, and half of the girls want to get preggers anyway, to keep the guy.
obviously i agree with none of the stereotypes i quoted above. i meant them in sarcasm.
i'm so sick of assumptions based on my age. if i was twenty-five, would doctors act in the same way towards my "unprotected" sex? possibly. probably not.
thoughts? apologies for turning this into a rant. it was at first just a thought about condoms and "protected sex" and i started thinking about instances in the past that emphasis has been put on condoms in my life.
* i will admit there are times in the past i have had a risk, or at least thought i had one, and did not use a condom - and hormonal birth control is not 100% foolproof. so i guess it's more of "an extremely low risk".
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no subject
Date: 2009-11-22 04:43 am (UTC)oh yes. all us teenagers just get infatuated, have sex, and then break up the next week. and it's just teenagers, adults don't do the same.
gaah. i've educated myself pretty darn well, comparatively, about sex and my body. and yet i, too, also get those lectures, even when i demonstrate my knowledge. for example, i was told i shouldn't stack my pills, because it was dangerous, and told that a condition of getting my prescription was agreeing to have my period every six months.
would my knowledge about the matter have been respected if my age didn't start with a one? would i have been required to submit to terms in order to deal with my own health if i'd been over 20? i think not.
and yes. i agree. there are a lot of stereotypes based on being a "teenager", and i'd have to say i see them even among the most educated people. heck, i've even sometimes seen actions based on them in this community!
Yes, there are a lot of drunken, idiotic louts who have had more sexual partners than exams, who get pregnant and pass on diseases because they don't care about their own health or that of others - but the destructive and irresponsible ones are the minority among us.
and there are a lot of people among the adult population who act in that manner, too. and what is said about them? that they're not acting their age, that they're immature, that they think they're still teenagers.
well, f*ck that. i'm 18 and i don't binge drink, i get more checkups than any of the adults i know, i've had less sexual partners in my life than several adults i know have had in the last year, i've never had an STD and unlike many "responsible adults" i practice safe sex (in the sense of not having sex with people unless i know their STD status - and "know" does not mean "he seems nice" or "he says he's clean"), and i've not yet had an unplanned pregnancy, or one planned to "keep" my boyfriend. yet i've seen unplanned pregnancies and let's-have-a-baby-to-keep-our-marriage-together pregnancies among many of the adults i've met.
and while i'm at it, those with serious problems with addiction to alcohol or sex while teenagers are seen as "just being typical horrible teenagers" whereas once someone becomes older, it's a problem. maybe if we paid more attention and put some of these teens in therapy instead of chalking it up to teenage behavior, we wouldn't have so many girls getting pregnant multiple times before they hit 18, or so many teens overdosing or dying of alcohol poisoning.
to the swords!
no subject
Date: 2009-11-22 04:47 am (UTC)