September 26: World Contraception Day

[frolicnaked.livejournal.com]

Fun fact, y'all. Today (at least, it's still today in my time zone) is the third annual World Contraception Day.

This year's theme, Your Life, Your Voice: Talk Contraception, is designed to help young people talk about contraception. This covers talking to people in order to get complete information about contraception as well as talking to partners about using contraception.

I'll admit, I have some questions regarding the rest of the linked site (so please do not take this post as an endorsement of the site as a whole) -- but the general "talk about it" message is one I think is pretty fabulous. Techniques that encourage people to have open dialogues about contraception -- not to treat it like it's perpetually an inappropriate topic -- are good in my book.

For me, I wish it hadn't taken me so long to access accurate information about my full range of contraceptive options. My religiously based sex ed classes, which didn't give unbiased information about anything, focused mostly on the pill and condoms. My first safer sex discussions -- one at my university's health center, another at the local Planned Parenthood -- talked about the pill and condoms. Discussions among my friends centered around the pill and condoms. It is, I think, understandable that I started thinking about contraception in terms of The Pill And Condoms.

Which, there's certainly nothing wrong with the pill or condoms, but they don't work for everyone, and they didn't work for me. I remember surreptitiously searching around online -- this was before the existence of VP -- and feeling kind of... weird and crazy, like I was looking for evidence of alien zombie Republican conspiracy theories rather than information about my own reproductive health.

Even after I found FAM and purchased Taking Charge of Your Fertility, I was very hesitant to tell people about it. There was so little mainstream information about it that I was afraid people were going to judge me (and, to a lesser extent, my partner) for using it. And they did. I got a lot of:

1) "Why don't you just use condoms?"
2) "You know what they call people who use the rhythm method? Parents."
3) "You can get the pill at Planned Parenthood. You know that, right?"
4) "When you get pregnant, don't come crying to me."

And other things that implied I was ignorant and/or irresponsible for choosing to use anything other than The Big Two.

Never mind that what I needed was not judgment but rather access to both accurate information and open dialogue about different contraceptive methods. Never mind that populations have different and complex contraceptive needs, and that no two methods -- hell, no ten methods -- are going to fit the needs of every couple or individual. Never mind that judging me for a contraceptive choice did little to change that choice -- but a lot to make me feel scared of talking about it with others, including my health care providers.

So, yeah. I'm a big proponent of making sure that conversations about contraception are comprehensive, honest, and nonjudgmental. I'm sure one can always find exceptions, but people are overwhelmingly able to make good choices for themselves when they're able to ask questions and equip themselves with the proper information.

Comments

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

Hear hear!

What frustrates a lot of open and honest discussions about contraception, in my experience, is this concept of "irresponsibility."

To me, what's problematic with that concept of "irresponsibility" in contraception is that since (in consensual sexual relationships) one's contraceptive choices are entirely within one's own control (including the choice to allow another to have control, i.e. with solely HBC), then in the end, everyone who is sexually active in a way that might cause pregnancy already is being responsible to their own bodies.

One might be being irresponsible if they drive while intoxicated, for instance, but that's because that action could potentially have far-reaching and harmful repercussions for other people than the one making the choice. When it comes to contraception, the risk is assumed solely by the people whose bodies are involved.

It seems to me that this idea of "responsible" versus "irresponsible" contraceptive decisions are still tied up in the concept of judgment on other people's reproductive lives; the idea of who "should" and "shouldn't" have children.

For instance, when I started relying solely on withdrawal with my last partner, I was told variously (from people surely trying to be helpful) that I was being irresponsible, even though I made that choice thoughtfully and after much discussion, evaluation, and consideration.

Now that I am married to a different partner, and still relying solely on withdrawal, I find those suggestions are almost totally absent. I have to ask why. It's not such a stretch to believe that it's because now that I am older and married and, as such, belong to a demographic that society considers "acceptable" to be pregnant. (I have, from time to time, heard statements along the line of "oh, so it wouldn't be so bad for you to be pregnant," which suggests that may be underneath the change in tone.)

And I think we often see that coming out with people who do experience unplanned pregnancy. As an unplanned pregnancy counsellor, I have met clients who, at the outset, insisted that they were using oral contraceptives, condoms, withdrawal and spermicide perfectly. Later in the session, after they become more comfortable and realize that I am not judging them, they will admit that they had not actually been consistently using those methods.

It saddens me that they come into it feeling so fearful of judgment and negative evaluation. Because how can you have a really open or honest dialogue about anything when people are so (rightfully, often) afraid of a punitive response?

So with all that in mind, the key issue in removing this concept that society has a vested interest in judging who is "responsible" or "irresponsible" about their contraception is to promote education.

If we could ensure that everyone felt knowledgeable about various methods of contraception, and were given the tools to really and truly consider all the available methods before deciding which method(s) were best for them, I think we would see the rush to judge diminish.

Because right now, part of what's fuelling it is the idea that unless you are using HBC / an IUD and/or condoms, you're not using "real contraception" or aren't making an informed decision. If we can ensure that most people are empowered to understand the options and the process of making an informed decision, people would become more respectful of others' results in that process.