first time?

[coopermarie.livejournal.com]

a couple nights ago i was with my boyfriend and i'm a virgin but anyway, we tried to have sex and he said i was too tight. so he worked on me for a while with his fingers but there was no penis on vagina action and i was just wondering, because i know many of you are sexually active, if this happened to any of you your first time because i feel pretty alone/slightly embarrased. thanks in advance for any comments/support.

Comments

[lindz2183.livejournal.com]

I was embarrassed too.... It happened to me several times a few years ago.... I was very tight as well... plus it didn't help that my boyfriend at the time was very large. But when I fianlly did lose the Big V Card, it was a little difficult at first.. I had to bit the bullet for a few seconds and bare it.. but it was well worth it.. that is what I did, but I am not suggesting that you do that.. just work on it a little.. I went through the same thing so I know how you feel. Don't be embarrassed. It takes work.. but you will get through it. :)

[lindsey-nichole.livejournal.com]

yeah. it just takes a little time and patience.

just keep working at it.

practice makes perfect ;) and at least this is one of those things most people don't mind practicing.

[laverick.livejournal.com]

I have a small vagina being a tiny-statured person who has never been pregnant, so I still have issues with tightness at times. You are not alone. And there's no reason to be embarassed. Make sure you are very aroused and emotionally ready before penetration and don't be afraid to use extra lubrication.

[jinni93.livejournal.com]

Exactly the same thing happened to me too. I would not by any means recommend this (in fact I'd advise against it), but my boyfriend eventually managed to get inside me one time when we'd been drinking. This was because my problem was relaxing the vagina muscles enough to accommodate his rather large penis.

My advice would be to just take your time and remember to relax as much as possible. And maybe practice with your fingers to get familiar with what it feels like having something inside, if you haven't already.

Don't worry too much, it will happen! :)

[cristalyte.livejournal.com]

Also, I would suggest maybe you trying to be on top and inserting him yourself. This gives you more control and might be a little easier.

[mangofandango.livejournal.com]

It definently happened to me! Don't panic, because I have great, comfortable sex now, but it took a while for my body to adjust. If you didn't use lube, try using plenty of that next time. Also, make sure to get plenty of foreplay in before you try to have penis-in-vagina sex, and try to conciously relax your vaginal muscles when you get started trying to get him inside you. Mostly, just be patient, as hard as it is - getting stressed about it will only make you tense up more. It will get better eventually! Good luck!

[pebele.livejournal.com]

it happened to my fiance and I the first few times we tried to have sex. he simply couldn't enter me. and I wasn't a virgin, it's jsut that apparently I've very tight and I'd only had partners with less-than-average cocks before him. and my fiance happens to be erm... larger-than-average.

after trying and failing a couple times we discovered that if he gave me a couple orgasms (I am able to orgasm easily) before to loosen me up AND if we placed a pillow beneath my butt to change the angle of penetration he was able to insert his cock easier.

of course, sometimes it's still a bit painful, for both of us. especially if we go a while without having sex, it's almost as if my pussy tightens itself up and we have to work more at it.

I would also suggest buying some lube. it makes things MUCH easier.

[alielle.livejournal.com]

Yeah I found that. I was pretty nervous and my muscles wouldn't relax, just taking it slower and really building up to it seemed to work and then everytime after that was no problem, even sometimes without much work on getting aroused enough.

[thesecolours.livejournal.com]

my boyfriend and i didn't have 'sex' until the 3rd time. penetration occured the two prior times, but nothing more than that - it was just too painful. don't worry. it's entirely normal.

[political-punk.livejournal.com]

i wouldn't worry about it, partially because it's really normal and secondly because worrying about it will make it difficult to relax which will only make matters worse. I remember how difficult it was the first time, and then how painful it was. Besides, intercourse isn't the end-all of sex anyway...there are a *lot* more pleasurable things to do.