(no subject)

[ex-invigorat426.livejournal.com]

Blah.
My friend is 13 years old, and she lost her virginity at the age of 12. She also has recieved/given oral sex from/to 3 diffrent guys, I think. Just recently she asked me if you had sex how long should you wait before you have a pregnancy test, then I asked if she had had sex and she lied.
girl: i think my mom is going to have a baby
me: she has her tubes tied.
girl: they came undone
me: they dont come undone
girl: well hers did
me: you dont actually tie anything.

Then she told me the truth, and while I scold her for what she has done, I also tell her I'll be there for her no matter what. It just freaks me out that she is 13. I'm only a year older..but I have enough sense to not do anything until I can deal with these things. She also was drunk, I believe. She was also saying she hated beer and guys, which is absured. Just shakes me up a bit..She isn't due for her period for another 2 weeks..

It also disgusts me, to some extent, that people can't even say vagina/vulva etc when they talk about their genitals. Like they say 'down there' and such, and it bothers me.
Also, like a lot of people, it bothers me when people talk about how disgusting pubic hair is.
"I wouldn't want a girl with a bush down there" blahblah. It's natrual, and although I don't prefer a lot of natrual hair on my vulva, I still think it is beautiful.

My rants..sorry, I'm just kind of shaken.

Comments

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

If your friend's got an issue with alcohol and boys, and isn't using condoms, it might just be a matter of time. :/ Does the alcohol seem like it might be a problem yet?

[ex-invigorat426.livejournal.com]

She doesn't drink a lot, and when she does she rarely gets drunk. But I dono, since she rarely tells me anything.
I think her problem with giving into boys is...her problem with relationships. Boys hate her make fun of her because she has big boobs, and they say they are saggy etc, self esteem problems.. and she longs for a boy so she gives into them easily.

I think she is done now..:| I hope

[grrlyparts.livejournal.com]

i don't really know what to say about your friend except that you can only do what you've promised to do--be there for her. she's got rough rough times ahead and i swear no one will change her mind except her.

but i do want to commend you. for being 14 and already having such an understanding of your body and sexuality, not to mention an acceptance of your body outside what society tells you...many adult women do not have that capability to say "vagina" and "vulva" and to look at their vulvas and see it's naturalness as beauty. you should be proud and so should your mom.

[prettynpink106.livejournal.com]

I want to second your comment! You are wise beyond your years :) I don't see your post as a mockery of your friend but as a friend who is worried and concerned about your friend. I hope everything works out.

[dokuya.livejournal.com]

i want to second it too.

[maranta.livejournal.com]

How long ago was the sex act your friend is worried about? If it was just a few days ago, go to this site http://ec.princeton.edu/ and look up where to get some emergency contraception!
It sounds like she's very lucky to have a mature friend like you who is trying to help her.

[lyssiek.livejournal.com]

I think that if you're having casual sex at any age, that that itself is horrible. But hey, that's just my own personal opinion.

I'm pretty sure you have to wait 3-4 days after you're supposed to get your period to take the test accurately. If she wants to have unprotected sex, than the price of not knowing whether she ruined her life or not for 2 weeks is something she's going to have to deal with. Planned Parenthood offers abortions, though, if she is that type of person. But since she is under 16, her parents would be notified.

[puttysan.livejournal.com]

You can give advice without being judgemental.

[miyyu.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[lyssiek.livejournal.com]

well, that's no fun, now is it?

[puttysan.livejournal.com]

I suppose not, if you're immature and like to make an ass of yourself.

[lyssiek.livejournal.com]

the post was begging for opinions, and I was completely polite. I don't see how my response made me look like an ass, but then again, you always have something to say about what I write, so again, like always, I will simply ignore it.

have a good day, sweetcheeks :)

[grrlyparts.livejournal.com]

i don't think the point is to be "fun" but to be helpful, and i don't see condemning those of us who have safe, pleasurable, but albeit "casual" sex lives as helpful to anyone in this community.

[crankygirlie.livejournal.com]

Good for you for being mature about a decision that could affect your whole entire life!

To her, you have done and are doing all you can do and she has to make her own decisions based on her knowledge. All you can do is attempt to educate her more, but don't expect her to always folow your advice.

If she's having problems with alcohol, please let an adult know. Even though it may seem like something that you should be obligated to keep secret, she is at risk. There are many predators who can and will take advantage of her vulnerable state. It's better for her to have full control of her faculties at this young age. When she's 21 and has been around the block at least once, it's up to her. But for now, please let someone know... she could be putting herself at tremendous risk.

It should shake you up. It should shake her up. Irresponsible sex and drinking can lead to a lot of regrets at best - a lot of diseases and pregnancy at worst.

Again, you're wise. I hope she learns from you. If not, it's not your fault. You're doing good.

*hug*

[puttysan.livejournal.com]

You're so "shaken" you make a post ridiculing your friend on RQ?

Some friend you are.

[ex-invigorat426.livejournal.com]

She is sleazy, and she'll admit to it. And I'm still shaken, big deal.

Yeah. You don't know what kind of friend I am.

I'm going to bed.

[septembergrrl.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, I thought your post was concerned, not mocking. It's clear this is a problem that worries you.

I think you're doing the best thing you can by being there for her and being nonjudgmental. Depending on what her family is like, you might want to tell an adult so she can get on birth control and possibly get some counseling for her self-esteem issues ... I agree with the other poster who said even if she isn't pregnant now, if she keeps having sex w/out birth control it's a matter of time; even if she's lucky that way, it sounds like this isn't something she enjoys doing, which is also kinda scary.

[americanbeauty.livejournal.com]

Hey! This is a safe space!

[angeleyes-05.livejournal.com]

I believe that what was said in your post was said out of love and respect your friend. You obviously care for her and want her to be okay. I totally don't blame you for being shaken either because that's something that would shake me up as well.

The same thing happened to my friend when she was only 11. And I think that's a very young age to even be considering sex. Even 13 is a little too young.

She went out, got drunk, and wound up having twins at the age of 12. That's like...babies having babies. And I found that it was so hard for her to go on with living life as a kid because she had kids of her own to take care of.

But I was there for her every step of the way, no matter what happened. And I know you'll be there for your friend regardless of whether she's pregnant or not. Because you're already there for her now...by posting your worries on VP. We'll all be here for you and your friend if things turn out not so good.

So remember, a good friend is a friend who cares--and you are definitely a good friend.

[spin-doctor.livejournal.com]

christ. 12??? i couldnt even imagine being in that situation. my mom used to always tell me that when young women (essentially little girls) have babies, its physically detrimental because their bodies arent funny developed yet. im not sure of the truth in the statement, but wow. that takes a lot of courage to follow through with it and i hope everything is ok with your friend now.

[thevargasgirl.livejournal.com]

its great that youre standing by your friend, even though she does things you wouldnt nessicarily apporve of. thats what being a friend is, and i think its a temendous achievment already.
you should have her consult a doctor and tell her parents. i know its ridiculous to say, maybe even see a conselor to talk through her problems.
you can get an early response test and have her take it in the alotted time (read the back of the box) and get another for her to take a few days after she expects her period (which she might not know, since at her age most girls are irregular)
and also, its kick ass that you are so happy with your body! yay for bush! (pubic hair, not the president)
xo
-=t