Long-distance relationships

[ohathena.livejournal.com]

Hello VPers!
I think I may have accidentally gotten myself into a long-distance relationship with a guy that I've been close to (we met in high school but then I moved and we stayed in touch through msn conversations) for 3 or 4 years. How this came about is a rather long story. The bottom line is that I've always avoided this sort of situation because sex, sex-related activities, and other forms of physical intimacy are super important to me. The dude lives 800 miles away; he's in the US, I'm in Canada. We're both in university.

I just wanted to ask how those of you doing the LDR thing survive the sexual frustration, or if I am making a big mistake by pursuing this in the first place, no matter how casually. If this is inappropriate for VP, please delete! 
Thanks in advance. :)

EDIT: thanks so much for all the awesome suggestions! You all rock me like a hurricane with your lovely insight.

Comments

[melodic-lyrics.livejournal.com]

Phone sex, phone sex, phone sex. Oh, and dirty emails.

I've been in more than one LDR, and it's not easy, but if the two of you are truly serious about making it work, it's possible.

relationhelp is a community that is run by myself and a vronwe and a couple other VPers, and if you ever want to rant/vent/gush about your relationship there, you're more than welcome.

[arularia.livejournal.com]

This.

Phones and internet open up all sorts of fun possibilities. Also--love letters. Whether they're romantic or dirty (or trade off!) is totally up to you.

I also used to have a lot of fun planning my outfit for when we'd get to meet up again. Lingerie just doesn't seem to have the same impact now that we're living together. Not that it isn't appreciated, just a different sort of reception.

[archangelbeth]

Email dirty stories, too!

I was in a LDR for about a year. It was stressy but... Yah, well, certain variations of phone sex were useful. O:> (And I've been married to that fellow since 1991. So. O:> )

I also second relationhelp. O:>

[necromance.livejournal.com]

I agree with melodic_lyrics. Phone. Sex.

And if you have no clue what you'd even say, read some erotic fiction. This is livejournal, the home of erotic fiction!

I would say though, maybe wait awhile until you start sending naked pictures just because in case it doesn't work out and them being accidentally or purposefully sent around the internet and whatnot.

[tsemed-chemed.livejournal.com]

Well, there's always polyamoury/non-monogamy. Tristan Taormino's book Opening Up is a good resource on that front.

I did the LDR thing for 16 out of 18 months I was with someone. It makes it really easy to spend all your time thinking about the next time you'll see each other.

[steppinrazor.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the book recommendation. This is something I've been interested in for a long while but clueless as to how to work things out, so I'll definitely seek that out. :)

[pennyedwards.livejournal.com]

As someone who's been in an LDR for three years now, I know EXACTLY what you mean about the sexual frustration. >.< But I've found that spending as much time together as possible, and being intimate then, helps makes the times between easier. And when you just can't stand it, I agree with the others about the phone sex, but I know that's not comfortable for everybody, so I'd suggest a web cam. It does WONDERS! :D You can play all kinds of sexy games over the internet without having to send pictures that might get lost in cyberspace.

Best of luck! LDRs can be SO rewarding if you're willing to stick it out.

[unicorn667.livejournal.com]

I've been in one for just over two years now and the frustration gets to you pretty badly as I'm sure we all know. He needs something visual and I like to hear his voice more than anything so we call and I have been known to send e-mails loaded up with attachments of tastefully done pin up photos. He adores them. Web cams do hurt because you see them move but you can't touch them, I don't really like to use it unless I have to.

[mandy.livejournal.com]

Phone sex! Oh and naughty IMs/emails back and forth when you can >)

[http://users.livejournal.com/bettymonroe_/]

phone sex, web-cam sex, im sex/flirting, photos, sharing links to porn or erotica, reading to each other, making up fantasies together. Finding time for phone sex in the day or morning can be nice and special too.

[kissedbythegods.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend and I are together right now, but we were apart for about three or four months and we've got another two coming up soon. Our major connector is web camming - it's like phone sex, but with visuals! We are also fans of sexting and msn. Good luck! I really recommend LDR - you get to know each other very well, and it makes being together in person just that much more rewarding :)

[ohmyfxck.livejournal.com]

I've been in a LDR for 2 years now - he's on a different continent. :]
Phone sex!
We also share porn.

[dreatastespie.livejournal.com]

webcam.

[deathbytamarind.livejournal.com]

I'm doing the LDR thing with my guy. We IM often. Most of the time it's to shoot the shit, and I keep him up on sports in our hometown. We've had some great cybersex via IMs. We love the dirty talk. :)

[sunshineguinn.livejournal.com]

I'm in a LDR myself... I'm in Florida and he's in Alberta. Nearly 3,000 miles apart. Guh!

We've known each other for nearly four years now, and have been a couple for a little over one of those years. The distance can be unbelievably rough at times, but we've been in love mere months into knowing each other, and after a long while of waiting, we plunged into couple-dom. For us, it's worth the time in between seeing each other because we care so much for one another, and have the mutual, ultimate goal of eradicating the distance in the future. And all sorts of other mushy stuff. :P

We make time for each other every day, even if it's just to talk about our days and say goodnight. Our poison of choice is Skype (http://www.skype.com), and webcams really make things more personable, because you can actually see each other. That being said, a little webcam goes a long way... ;P

I also wanted to let you know that you can feel free to message or email me if you ever want to. I could babble on about stuff relating to this for ages, I'm sure. :P And I know how rough it can be to have a LDR but not have anyone around you that "gets" it. This may not be the case for you (hopefully not), but I definitely wanted to extend my hand, so to speak. Especially since we're both cross-continent LDR-ers! XD

And I hope this comment reads sensibly... I've been studying for finals all day and am about to pass the hell out. >P