Orgasm trouble

[triptrack.livejournal.com]

Does anyone feel like vaginal orgasms and clitoral orgasms are different? And does anyone else feel like their orgasms are better when they masturbate as opposed to when someone else is touching them, (hand job)? I'm also having trouble getting off when my boyfriend goes down on me. I've always thought that I am in touch with what feels good, but lately I'm not so sure because I just can't seem to communicate to him how to touch me! Any advice? Answers to my questions? Thanks a bunch! I'm glad this group is here!

Comments

[sarahness.livejournal.com]

Does anyone feel like vaginal orgasms and clitoral orgasms are different?
Yes, definitely. Clitoral orgasms are way more intense than vaginal orgasms, in my experience. But when they coincide, I feel like I'm having an out of body experience. :)

And does anyone else feel like their orgasms are better when they masturbate as opposed to when someone else is touching them, (hand job)?
Yes to this, too. I'm not a big fan of receiving oral sex because to me it just feels ~okay~. Hands are okay, too, but I think he probably likes touching me more than I do. Honestly, nothing really gets me off aside from PIV sex and self stimulation. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy other things, I just don't get off from them, and I'm okay with that.

[paperispatient.livejournal.com]

I feel like my orgasms are quite a lot better with a partner - but it very much depends on the partner. My last partner and my current partner are the only ones with whom I've had orgasms, and the orgasms are MUCH more powerful than what I give myself. I think so much depends on the person and how they're touching you and what you need/like (and until these two partners, I never thought anyone else would be able to make me come). For instance, I've had PIV sex with two guys; my first PIV partner, it was fun but I never got anywhere remotely close to having an orgasm. My current partner, I come numerous times in one session and have since the first time we had sex. I also never thought I'd be able to have an orgasm from someone else fingering me until my current partner - I don't know how he does it, but I think he fingers me better than I finger myself! With previous partners, though, fingering ran the gamut anywhere from "ooh, almost there, not quite" to "meh, not doing anything at all for me."

That was a bit rambly, but I'm just kind of thinking out loud - er, in text? :)

As for figuring out what will get you off, during oral sex and in general, I think just trying a bunch of things helps. I know that I generally need a finger or two as well as a tongue during oral sex to get off; just a tongue, it feels good but won't get me anywhere. Even minor things like the angle he's at and how my legs are can change it from pleasant to mind-blowing.

[sullenduchess.livejournal.com]

For me, clitoral orgasms feel really short and really intense, whereas g-spot/penetration is longer lasting, and...well it's hard to explain. PIV usually leaves me feeling really relaxed and kind of dopey, where clitoral leaves me feeling really amped and energised.

That being said, I don't really enjoy being clitorally stimulated by anyone but myself. Oral doesn't really do it for me, even getting fingered isn't usually enjoyable for me. It's basically PIV, do it myself, or nothing.

[sullenduchess.livejournal.com]

Ohh, also, I forgot to mention that what you enjoy can definitely change. I used to LOVE receiving oral but I don't enjoy it anymore.

[neurotic.livejournal.com]

I feel the same way after clitoral orgasms. I've read that having an orgasm can help with insomnia, but in the past few years, doing it right before bed makes me a little more keyed up.

I've never had a g-spot orgasm, though, and my attempts to find my g-spot on my own have not been successful. I'm a virgin, btw, and have never been sexually active beyond one handjob and having a boyfriend cop a feel. So it's not completely out of the realm of possibility.

[starbrow.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. Clitoral orgasms feel all tingly and are very intense and after a little while I can usually go for another one, whereas for me vaginal orgasms are sort of like pressure building up until it releases - they're not overly pleasurable by themselves, but end up giving me a sort of contented sleepy feeling once they're over.

I agree that clitoral orgasms, at least, do tend to be better when I masturbate, as then I can directly control the amount of stimulation (and use the vibrator). The exception to this is the fact that I don't tend to tease myself, whereas my husband usually does, and that builds up to a better orgasm. Also when I masturbate, I don't make any noise, but when I have a partner there, I do make noise - it's really odd.

[tealight-rookie.livejournal.com]

For me, clitoral orgasms are kind of like a sugar fix whereas g-spot orgasms feel like a full (and frankly fabulous) meal. I know that's a totally crap metaphor, but hey. Combine them both, of course, and you have something utterly mind-blowing.

[http://users.livejournal.com/fluidmotion-/]

I've never had a vaginal orgasm, but I find there to be a big difference in clitoral orgasms performed myself, or by my man. I find them to be much more powerful when it's my boyfriend doing it. I think part of the reason might be that I tend to stop/slow down right when the big O hits, and when someone else is doing it they'll just keep going. Maybe not, but it's a guess!

I can't get off by oral sex, either. I enjoy it a lot, but I can't get off from it. I think lots of ladies feel the same way.

[tokio.livejournal.com]

To be technical, there is no such thing as a "vaginal orgasm," although you can orgasm from vaginal penetration. All orgasms go through the clitoris, even if the clitoris is not being stimulated. Just wanted to clear that up, even though I know it's a bit irrelevant and people are always going to call orgasms that come from vaginal stimulation "vaginal orgasms."

[triptrack.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot for all the tips, facts, and anecdotes; it's all been really helpful and has made me feel more normal. For some reason I have this idea in my head that oral sex should be the ultimate orgasm, but I guess I do know my body best, so it does make sense that I could give myself the best orgasm in my opinion.
I think that I'm going to have him try a different position-maybe off to the side rather that down inbetween. And during sex I might try my vibrator. Afterall, I deserve to have mindblowing orgasms, right? Right.
Are there any positions that are easier for "vaginal" orgasms? (I know that's not accurate now, thanks tokio). I have tried to use my hand but he tends to bump it and It messes up my rhythm.

[lastnightscurls.livejournal.com]

Most women find that g-spot orgasms are more intense than clitoral orgasms. Try to find it by yourself and then maybe your boyfriend can stimulate your g-spot when he goes down on you.
A good majority of women need clitoral stimulation to have a g-spot orgasm, but just try finding it one night.. or even get a toy made specifically for g-spot stimulation.

[innana88.livejournal.com]

A g-spot toy was the only way I was able to find it. I had to turn on my side to hit it the right way, but wow, yeah. Definitely worth it.

[unicorn667.livejournal.com]

I much prefer being touched by my partner than just on my own. Satisfying myself by myself doesn't interest me any more and I'm not interested in toys. I much prefer oral to fingering but I like his techniques for both. I orgasm easier through oral as opposed to the fingering. I haven't had much experience so I can't really tell the difference between a clitoral and 'vaginal' orgasm.