Birth Control

[merenator.livejournal.com]

Alright, I've posted here before with questions about birth control and (surprise surprise) I still am not taking the pill or anything. I feel slightly pressured to, however, and I'm starting to feel as though I'm being a bit stubborn on the whole thing. A bit of sidefacts: I hate putting anything in my body that isn't food or coffee. I basically have to have a knife wedged in my skull to take aspirin and when I had a bladder infection I was really wary of taking the antibiotics. I'm very against using medicines or anything of the sort. So, basically, taking the pill or getting any sort of injection or having something implanted in my body is something I am against. I know the chances of anything negative occurring are very slim and I'm more than likely just thinking too much into all of this. 

Anyways, I was wondering how many of you lovely ladies ever felt pressured to take birth control, or if you have at all. I'm not going to say I feel any pressure, but it's been brought up by my boyfriend more than once. I know that if I simply say "I'm not going to" he'll back off the topic immediately.  I just feel a bit selfish, I guess.

Also, question number two! What are some side effects that you've experienced from using birth control? I'm kinda interested in seeing how common they are. I suppose it would really help calm me down a bit and stop being a stubborn spaz. 

Thank you!

Comments

[oatmealmonster.livejournal.com]

You aren't being stubborn or selfish and you shouldn't feel any pressure because ultimately it is your body and your decision.

The only "pressure" Ive had for going on HBC was from my derm for acne so I cannot really speak from experience though.

[indigodye.livejournal.com]

I don't think you are being too stubborn. It's your body.

On the flip side - I can see where your boyfriend is coming from - BUT I don't entirely agree with him. He probably thinks you just pop a pill once a day, and voila, no babies. He probably doesn't realize the side effects, cost, doctors visits, etc. Maybe research some information and print it out, as to why you don't want to take it? No talking needed, and he can read it and digest it at his own pace.

There are TONS of other forms of birth control you can be on - like an IUD, condoms, etc. It might take some research, since we seem to be a very birth-control-pill-centered culture, but I am sure you can find something that you like.

[shil.livejournal.com]

I do think it's important to mention that for some people (like me), you really do just pop a pill once a day and voila, no babies. I have zero side effects with the pill, I get it completely free, and the doctor's visits are five minute chats with a lovely nurse every six months to a year, at an office about 15 minutes walk away, which are also free. There are literally no negatives to me taking the pill and a handful of positives (clearer skin, ability to predict/time periods, no babies). Clearly, not everyone has such a good and easy experience with HBC, but I wanted to represent for the folks that do!

[anni-hilation.livejournal.com]

Question 1: I've never really felt pressured to take birth control, although at the times (such as now) that I've been off of it, it has been brought to my attention by my partner. Ultimately though, he knows since it's my body, it's my decisions.

Question 2: I totally understand being wary about putting things that seem unnatural into your body, I think it's a totally valid fear. That being said, if you're very uncomfortable using a hormonal form of birth control, I definitely would recommend the copper IUD, Paragard. And yes, I realize that it is something that is implanted into your body. But unlike Mirena or Implanon, it is totally hormone free, and poses no emotional or hormonal imbalance related risks. ...And I just realized I didn't really answer your question haha.... So I'll try to now. I've been on a few different brands of the pill. The first one I was on, Aviane, did make me slightly more emotional around PMS time, but greatly decreased my cramps and lightened my flow. Then it was Seasonale, where I had no emotional side effects, but was left with "breakthrough bleeding" for about 2 months straight. Last up was Yaz, which was great. My cramps returned a little bit, but the PMS monster from hell was gone, and had no side effects. Keep in mind that each brand of BC will react differently with each person. Try not to use Google as a reference point as you're most likely to hear a lot of horror stories, since people are more likely to post when something goes wrong than when it goes right. Currently, I'm using FAM (fertility awareness method), and it's working great so far, plus it's really cool to learn all the nuances of my body. My advice is to research your options, and go with what works for you. /Novel. Good luck!

[crashhooligan.livejournal.com]

Don't feel pressure. It's important to do what makes you comfortable, especially when it comes to issues of your health and your body, but if you don't want to go on HBC, and you are having sex, make sure you are using proper precautions to avoid pregnancy (and STIs, for that matter). Just make sure you are doing what is best for you. Lots of people are sexually active and don't use HBC, but for a lot of people, it's what's safest for them.

[paperispatient.livejournal.com]

With regard to birth control, I feel like it's important for both partners to feel comfortable and confident with the method(s) being used. BUT that does not mean that you should go on the pill to make your boyfriend comfortable. It's your body that would be affected firsthand, and if it's something you are not okay with, it's totally your right to feel that way. I don't think it's selfish - you obviously are concerned about his feelings, since you're posting here concerned about it. :) If you WERE ever interested in considering a hormonal method of birth control, there are many different kinds; sometimes it takes a couple tries to find the best fit for you. For me, the first brand of pill I went on made me break out really badly; I switched to another brand, my skin cleared up almost instantly, and I have no side effects save for very slightly bigger boobs. If you aren't familiar with it or aren't already using it, FAM could be a good option to read up on, as it involves monitoring different signs of fertility and doesn't involve putting anything in your body. :)

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

I have felt a little pressured to use HBC/an IUD. My partner is uncomfortable using "natural" methods such as withdrawal or FAM, which I would like to use in conjunction at some point. And once, I was talking with my mom about how I want to switch IUDs, and she said "well, you'd have to use something else while you were between IUDs!" As if condoms or just abstinence are not a possibility. (And also as if I were unaware that I needed to have some sort of plan! DUH MOM!) I definitely feel like there are many people who are of the opinion that if you're having sex, the only responsible way to prevent pregnancy is by using HBC/an IUD.

I was on the nuvaring, and experienced a slight increase in my depression/anxiety, and a slight decrease in libido. It was subtle enough that I didn't really realize how it was impacting me until I went hormone free. Now I have a paragard IUD, which I LURVE. However, I do have pretty bad cramps. They're manageable, but I'm not very good about doing the things one should do to manage them. I'm thinking of switching to a Mirena if/when they come out with the smaller version.

I don't think you're being selfish. It is a huge burden to be the one who has to be medically altered to avoid pregnancy. HUGE. The only thing is to be sure that the two of you come to a compromise that both of you feel comfortable with. As I said, my partner is not comfortable with withdrawal+FAM, so I don't use it. However, if that was the only thing I was comfortable with, we might come to the conclusion that it was either that or no PIV, and that he could choose which of those options he was most comfortable with. I do think that because a potential pregnancy will impact him as well, its good to keep him involved in the decision making process...while at the same time recognizing that its YOUR body, and ultimately YOUR decision what to do with it. (And his decision whether he wants to have sex with you, with the knowledge that you are only comfortable with X birth control option.)

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

For the record, it isn't at all selfish for you to say "no" on a method you know you are not comfortable with.

I'm personally of the mindset that in most cases, it's worth a try. I tried hormonal birth control pills -- tried them three times, in fact -- before I was absolutely firm in my feeling that it was not at all the right method for me, and that I would not use hormonal contraceptives again.

That said, if you already know this -- then it's not at all selfish to say so. I think it's worth a try if you think you'd be interested. You can always stop. But if you know in advance you would not be comfortable with the method, there's no reason to try and talk yourself into it, you know?

Anyway, side effects can be common, and are very, very individual. The first brand I tried, I had strong side effects -- namely, sore, very swollen breasts and some real mood issues, that did not go away after the initial three-month adjustment period.

So I changed brands. The second brand gave me no side-effects whatsoever, other than an extremely short and light period (about 12 hours of spotting), which was pleasant for me.

But when I went back on that same brand two years later, I got the sore, very swollen breasts again, that lasted, among a general sense of... just wrongness, for a lack of a better word, that I began to understand as my ultimate realization that HBC was not something I was okay with for myself.

The thing is, most side-effects on birth control pills, patches, and rings are tolerable. I mean, I was extremely unhappy about the swollen, painful boobs... but I went about my daily life just the same, other than the annoyance factor it wasn't a major issue.

And if the side-effects aren't tolerable, you can quit at any time -- you aren't stuck with the side-effects. Or try different brands until you find one that works for you.

That said, I reiterate that if this isn't something you want to do, then you have every right to stand by that. In that case, maybe you and your partner could research other methods together to find one, or a combination of methods, that will let both of you feel comfortable in the method and your level of protection?

[syntheticdeath.livejournal.com]

I agree with the above posters that it is not selfish at all for you to think that. No one should pressure you into doing something you don't want to.

I'm currently on the Nuvaring. Some of my side effects have been minor cramps every once in a while, larger & more tender breasts, and minor accumulation of fat in my tummy area (not very noticeable to others; also, my weight in lbs has remained the same oddly enough). I love my ring, though, and I'm not bothered by the side effects that much. Either they're going away or I'm beyond noticing them.

Good luck with everything!

[elephantus45.livejournal.com]

Its not selfish of you at all. Its your body and you are the one who has to deal with the side effects.

I guess I never thought that I was pressured into it. I had ovarian cysts that caused a great deal of pain when I was 15, and so I was put on the pill. I was just happy to be able to run without pain again. I did stop taking it a few times (mainly after bad breakups, I don't know why). Some pills worked fine for me, but others gave me weight gain, migraines, problems with contacts, horrible PMS problems, spotting, and some other things (these are all the pills I have tried combined). I have a Paragard IUD now and couldn't be better. I really HATED taking pills every single day and exactly the same time. I hated how they made me feel. I hated those that gave me heavy withdrawls. I hated those that gave me none!

I guess I'm hard to please.

Do what you want with your own body.

[thisandthat.livejournal.com]

I second (third, etc.) the suggestion for using FAM. It sounds like that might be your best bet in this situation. No pills, hormones, patches, etc. involved, just you and your body. (Well, and a thermometer or something... but that is pretty harmless.)

Also, it sounds like you probably wouldn't want an IUD anyway, but make sure to read about them a lot before you get one. I was super excited about the prospect of getting the Paragard, no hormones, don't have to worry about birth control for like 10 years, etc. but I read that is is only copper plated (that might not be the right word). The core of the Paragard is nickel, which I am allergic to. :(

[teasailor.livejournal.com]

1. I never felt pressured, although I guess you could say that it was "expected" that I start birth control when I first started having sex. For me, if I was going to have sex, it was vital that I was on birth control, regardless if we used condoms or not. I guess I just really felt like I wanted to take control of my own fertility, since ultimately, it would be my decision to keep the baby or not... and I never want to have to make that choice and I don't think anybody ever wants to (it would be ideal if all pregnancies were planned of course).

2. I have used the pill and the ring in the past, and they were all good in clearing up my skin, and protected me well from babies (although I was very careful about following direction to a T), but lowered my sex drive. Now I have a Mirena IUD and find it to be the absolute ideal birth control (my sex drive came back!). It really has been my savior and I never have to worry about babies at all.

[lougolas.livejournal.com]

1) I didn't feel any pressure to go on HBC, but I do feel some pressure to stay on it - like you, I know my boyfriend will respect my decision, but I still feel a sort of obligation to him. My concern is that I've been on it for 4 years now and would like to give my body a break, but I don't want to have to start using condoms (various reasons - neither of us like them, I'm allergic to the spermicide, etc) and withdrawal only works with him in control (when I'm on top, I tend to get carried away!). I'm considering FAM, but then there's the condom issue on my fertile days so I'm still thinking it over. But really, I'd feel bad for "inflicting" condoms on him (if we experimented to find ones that work for me), since we've been together for 2.5 years and he's never had to think about anything like that.

2) I haven't had any real side-effects from HBC, my boobs grew and that's about it! I've gained weight since going on it, but I know that's my own damn fault and due to bad lifestyle habits rather than the pill.

Really, it's your choice to make whether you want to go on it or not - don't let anyone or anything pressure you into taking something you don't want *hugs*

[getsinyoureyes.livejournal.com]

1. the only pressure I ever felt was from myself. I didn't feel very protected using just condoms (I've had condoms break) and depending on only condoms was making feel very uncomfortable and I felt the need for something more effective. I took BC because I wanted to, if you don't then don't do it. Gotta do what's right for you.

2. Side effects are extremely individual and there is really no way of knowing which, if any, you get. The only side effect that I might have possibly had was difficult losing weight. I say the only possible side effect because I also wasn't eating the best during that time, but I was increasing the amount of exercising I was doing. Really it's hard to tell if it was the BC or I was actually eating worse than I thought I was.

[nickelshoe.livejournal.com]

I totally had this issue. When I was getting married, my mom talked to me about contraception, and we made an appointment for me to see the gynecologist. I went basically for the purpose of getting prescribed the pill. I filled the prescription, but I never took the pills. I freaked out a bit at the idea of messing with my body. I was twenty-three, and my period had been very regular for the past year or so, I wasn't getting cramps anymore, and I generally felt very good in my body. I hated messing with something that was going well. And I'd never been much of a fan of medication unless I really needed it. Also, I learned that my mom had had some annoying side effects on the pill.

So my husband and I settled on condoms instead, which he initially said wasn't a big deal. But after we tried them, he never liked them (but I did). He really always wanted me to be on birth control, but I was never comfortable with it. Eventually we just stopped using contraception altogether. He got to the point that he'd rather take the chance of having a baby than deal with condoms, and I still didn't want to be on the pill.

It's fair of you (or me) not to want to take the pill; it's fair of your boyfriend (or my husband) not to want to use condoms. Hope you guys figure out something that works for both of you.

[arularia.livejournal.com]

Taking birth control means altering your body and if you don't feel comfortable doing it, then don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and say no. There are tons of other methods available for contraception which don't involve you altering your body chemistry.

I have similar feelings as you as to what I like to put in my body. I was on hormonal contraceptive for several years, but it really got old. I wasn't having any major side effects, but I wasn't happy knowing what I was putting into my system. My partner and I used condoms for awhile, but I wasn't 100% comfortable using them as our sole protection so I found a sympathetic provider and had a copper IUD inserted. Now I've got the best of both worlds--no hormones and highly effective protection.

If you feel open to the idea, go ahead and give it a try. As queensugar said, you can stop at any time. But don't let that fact add any extra pressure to take them. If you're just plain not comfortable with it, then find something else that works for you and your partner.

[torpedoed.livejournal.com]

i've never felt pressured, i wanted to take birth control, no one even asked me to. i have been doing so since before i was even sexually active though.

as for being on the pill, i have been taking it for 5-6 years now and have been on the same one since the beginning. i haven't had any unwanted side effects. the pill has cleared up my skin and regulated my period even down to the time of day i will get it.. lol. it also helped my periods be lighter, shorter, and have faaar less cramping.

but ultimately, this is up to you, not your boyfriend. and if you do decide to try birth control, you should drag him along for every doctor visit and such, so he will understand that it does take a bit of effort on your part, it's not as easy as just taking a pill once a day.

[actorgrl04.livejournal.com]

I totally hear ya! I am not taking it because I'm affraid it will mess with my body and I don't want to that to happen. I've heard too many stories about the hormones, but i know there are good stories too.

you shouldn't feel pressured at all to take it, it's your body and you should do what you want with it. My boy asked a few times, only because we had some condom problems, but that was months ago and he hasn't asked anymore. I think this spring I will talk to him about it though. it is something he wants, but something that we both have to gradually get into.

so on that note, don't feel bad. the ladies here have lots of useful info, i hope they help!

[roseofjuly.livejournal.com]

My mom more or less pressured me to get on birth control when I was in college. For me, it was positive pressure -- I needed that extra push to actually go to the gynecologist and get an exam, and I did become sexually active shortly thereafter.

Side effects: I took Ortho-Novum 1/31 for a while. That was a great pill for me! My hair grew longer, my breasts got bigger and my periods were lighter. No weight change, bloating, or anything like that.

I took Alesse for a while after that. I didn't like it. I felt irritable and moody, and my periods weren't lighter or anything.

Then I used the NuvaRing. That was great too, but I kept getting infections down under, so I discontinued it.

Now I'm taking Yaz, and I like it. My periods are still painful, but they're medium in flow and they don't last very long. I also don't feel the irritability I normally get around my period -- I just feel like me. Drospirenone, one of the chemicals in Yaz, is supposed to prevent bloating, but I do feel occasionally bloated. And I get migraines fairly often, but I don't know if that's a side effect of the Yaz or whether it's because I just started graduate school at roughly the same time I started the pill. A big problem for me is the cost. There's no generic for Yaz, so it costs me $35 a pack.

It's not selfish to not use birth control. Or if it means 'selfish' in these as only concerned about yourself, I don't think it's wrong to be selfish in this case. Every woman should be able to decide what she's going to put in her body, and if you don't want to take birth control pills, so be it. There are other ways to prevent pregnancy.

[emilymorgan.livejournal.com]

No advice, but thank you for posting this! I've had similar concerns, so I really appreciate it.

[laisah.livejournal.com]

Years ago i had a similar issue, but with a much more hostile partner. My boyfriend at the time had never used condoms with anyone he'd been with. I was not taking any hormonal birth control and insisted on condoms. He whined and moaned about him being the unlucky guy who ends up with the girlfriend who refuses to go on the pill. talk about pressure, haha. BYE BYE
Forward to the present: my DH and I are on the same page. He understands my desire to remain artificial hormone free (we don't eat milk, eggs or meat with hormones so why would I?). We use a combination of FAM, condoms during my fertile times and a diaphragm w natural spermicide for peace of mind the rest of the month. I don't necessarily enjoy inserting a diaphragm nor does he particularly enjoy wearing a condom but we enjoy each other and each do what we can, within reason.
So, no advice from me. Just letting you know that if someone loves you enough they would never pressure you into something you are not comfortable with.

[hiriel1804.livejournal.com]

I've never felt pressured into using HBC, my boyfriend is less paranoid than me, and therefore didn't have problems using only condoms, but I wanted extra security. However, birth control is something both of you have to be comfortable with, so it's important to tell him if you know HBC is something you know you don't want to do.

I have been on Microgynon 28 for two years, and I have very few side effects. When I first started, my nausea was insane for a week, then it got a whole lot better. I still get a slight bit of nausea about 4 hours after I take my pill, when the hormones have got into my system, but I take my pill before bed anyway, so I sleep through it. Other than that I have no side effects :)