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vaginapaginaHi all...
A long time ago (it seems), I wrote in regards to a rather large mole on my vulva. At the time, I had gone to a fancy spa-like dermatologist who glanced at it for 5 seconds and said, "Yep! Let's take it off." She then told me it would be $800. I thought that seemed a little unreasonable, so I called another dermatology clinic and they told me that mole removal and biopsy typically cost $300. I told them I wanted them to look at a mole on my vulva and tell me whether or not it should be removed. I went in and the very nice, very thorough doctor examined me. I explained to him that atypical nevi (basically, big moles that often cause alarm but are actually very harmless) run in my family, and that I'd had all of these moles on my vulva for a long time, including the one in question. He told me (surprise!) that it was actually a cluster of smaller moles--not one giant mole--and because I had similar moles on my back and shoulders, and because it wasn't hurting, changing colors, etc., I should just leave it alone and keep an eye on it. He assured me removal was NOT necessary at this time, and that I should come back in a year for another check-up, because I do have the atypical nevi that need to be monitored.
So that sounds good, right?
So here's my problem...I'm SO TERRIFIED of cancer that I can't keep my hands off of that area, and now it HURTS. I look at it two or three times a day in the mirror, and that entire part of my vulva intermittently aches and stings. It's gotten to the point that I can't wear pants OR underwear, so I'm having to go commando in long skirts (in winter!). I know it's because I'm constantly pressing on it, prodding it, etc,, and also because there's a skin tag right next to the mole that gets irritated if touched too much.
I don't know what I'm asking, but I guess it's just that the area keeps aching and hurting, and maybe I'm looking for some sort of reassurance that it's really not cancer--it's just pain I've caused. I've been poking at it ever since my appointment (which was weeks ago). I'll stop for a day, but then I'll start back up, so I think I'm just not letting it heal. Is the labial skin/muscle/tissue/etc. around the opening of the vagina very sensitive? If I leave it alone, how long should I wait for it to stop hurting before I start freaking out again?
I know this seems bizarre and terribly OCD. It's not even the mole that hurts! I can press on it, pinch it, etc. and it causes very minimal pain--probably because I've bruised the muscles and whatnot by my constant poking. I just have this bizarre fear that there's cancer hidden under my skin and I don't know it. Has anyone ever been in this position (with any part of their body) and can anyone offer comfort?
Is there anything I can do to make it heal faster? Obviously, not poking at it is a start! It seems like the more I think about it, the more it hurts. It hurts to walk, and it throbs when I sit with my legs crossed. What a dumb mess I've made of myself! It was perfectly fine until I went to the doctor. So much for getting reassurance...
Thanks so much for bearing with this ridiculous post.
-Kelsie
A long time ago (it seems), I wrote in regards to a rather large mole on my vulva. At the time, I had gone to a fancy spa-like dermatologist who glanced at it for 5 seconds and said, "Yep! Let's take it off." She then told me it would be $800. I thought that seemed a little unreasonable, so I called another dermatology clinic and they told me that mole removal and biopsy typically cost $300. I told them I wanted them to look at a mole on my vulva and tell me whether or not it should be removed. I went in and the very nice, very thorough doctor examined me. I explained to him that atypical nevi (basically, big moles that often cause alarm but are actually very harmless) run in my family, and that I'd had all of these moles on my vulva for a long time, including the one in question. He told me (surprise!) that it was actually a cluster of smaller moles--not one giant mole--and because I had similar moles on my back and shoulders, and because it wasn't hurting, changing colors, etc., I should just leave it alone and keep an eye on it. He assured me removal was NOT necessary at this time, and that I should come back in a year for another check-up, because I do have the atypical nevi that need to be monitored.
So that sounds good, right?
So here's my problem...I'm SO TERRIFIED of cancer that I can't keep my hands off of that area, and now it HURTS. I look at it two or three times a day in the mirror, and that entire part of my vulva intermittently aches and stings. It's gotten to the point that I can't wear pants OR underwear, so I'm having to go commando in long skirts (in winter!). I know it's because I'm constantly pressing on it, prodding it, etc,, and also because there's a skin tag right next to the mole that gets irritated if touched too much.
I don't know what I'm asking, but I guess it's just that the area keeps aching and hurting, and maybe I'm looking for some sort of reassurance that it's really not cancer--it's just pain I've caused. I've been poking at it ever since my appointment (which was weeks ago). I'll stop for a day, but then I'll start back up, so I think I'm just not letting it heal. Is the labial skin/muscle/tissue/etc. around the opening of the vagina very sensitive? If I leave it alone, how long should I wait for it to stop hurting before I start freaking out again?
I know this seems bizarre and terribly OCD. It's not even the mole that hurts! I can press on it, pinch it, etc. and it causes very minimal pain--probably because I've bruised the muscles and whatnot by my constant poking. I just have this bizarre fear that there's cancer hidden under my skin and I don't know it. Has anyone ever been in this position (with any part of their body) and can anyone offer comfort?
Is there anything I can do to make it heal faster? Obviously, not poking at it is a start! It seems like the more I think about it, the more it hurts. It hurts to walk, and it throbs when I sit with my legs crossed. What a dumb mess I've made of myself! It was perfectly fine until I went to the doctor. So much for getting reassurance...
Thanks so much for bearing with this ridiculous post.
-Kelsie
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Date: 2009-01-02 09:26 pm (UTC)The vulva is a sensitive area - and I'm sure the skin around the mole(s) is irritated from being manipulated so often.
As far as the cancer thing goes, I'm not sure how to get over your fear of it, except taking comfort in the fact that a medical professional has told you in his opinion it is not necessary for you to have the mole removed, and thinks just keeping an eye on it will be fine for now. Only thing I can think of is just reminding yourself that everyday is a wonderful gift, so there's no reason to live in fear every day. :)