vaginapagina | in the realm of sexuality and talking dirty (Reply)

So, my partner and i have been together for just over a year. In that span of time we've enjoyed a lot of really fantastic sex, and one of his favorite things about me is my sexuality and my openness...it's one of MY favorite things about me!

I have a super high libido and i enjoy masturbation often, i write erotica, i love to enjoy many facets of being sexual, but one thing I struggle with is talking dirty.

I know my partner is a hugely auditory driven person. He is musical and loves to talk when we are playing, about all the amazing things he'd like to do with me and others, and it's totally a turn-on for me to have him talk dirty to me

but as soon as he turns the focus to me, i completely flood with thoughts and then i shut down, especially in a high pressure situation - for example, tonight we were playing, and he's telling me what he'd like to see happen with a certain girlfriend i have who is interested in sharing us sometime. He is telling me how he'd like to see her do this and then he says 'what about you, what do you want to happen?'

and immediately thoughts start circling. stopping up in the drain. A lot of them are sexual and i just want to really say any old thing, but i just can't. Even if i did try to speak, it would probably come out jumbled and i'd trip over my words i'm sure.

It feels like a shot in the gut tonight that I can't do this. I desperately want to get past this anxiety.

I feel like, i can do this in some capacities. When I'm having a good night i can feel very vocal about how good he feels and how much i'd like to do X and what have you... I want to be able to elaborate on this. I am sure some of this comes from past relationship trauma, but I am having a hard time making a connection as to why this is so difficult...

ugh, i just need some guidance on this.