Hi, I'm new.

[ticklemepiink.livejournal.com]

Hey Girls -

My name is Lindsey. I am new to this community after hearing great things about it. I am constantly worrying or having qualms about the crazy things that my lovely vag does, so I figured this is a great place to start. I see after reading a lot of the memories that some people here share my problem...




I dated the same guy all through college for 3.5 years. His name was Nick and he loved me very much, the good, the bad, the ugly, he had seen it all. He loved and respected and trusted me. We had our ups and downs but we always found the ups again. When he graduated college he moved in with my parents and I, in an effort to be closer and also because his parents had expected him to be on his own immediately, and he wasn't ready. We had our own master bedroom above all the other rooms and for 2 years we lived like husband and wife. Eventually though, something within us died. We stopped spending time together after work, argued more, he felt as though I controlled him, I felt starved for attention. Needless to say, I cheated on him. With a married man no less, but in my defense, the man told me he was getting divorced and implied that he no longer lived with his wife.. I felt awful when I learned the truth... and weeks later I developed a bad infection in my vagina as a punishment. My relationship with my ex ended for other reasons, not because of the cheating, and to this day I am sick when I think about it. It was a horrible mistake. He still doesn't know and I hope he never will.

I went to the gyno and he diagnosed me with cervicitis. It felt like the worst yeast infection I have ever ever ever had in my life. I was miserable. While I was there he also found a strain of high risk HPV and scheduled a biopsy and also an entire STD panel test. I figured, I haven't ever been tested, why the hell not. Now, before I go any further, let me just say, I enjoy sex. I am very sensual, and in my life before the ex, I was a bit promiscuous, but always pretty safe. When I cheated though, I was not safe. We didn't use a condom because I am on the pill and we didn't think anything of it. I always thought people with STDs were gross. In fact, I knew a few girls who I went to High School with who had contracted herpes and deep down, I thought less of them. Then I went for my biopsy and right before the doc dug in, he informed me that I had contracted HSV-2. I sobbed. It didn't even dawn on me that the guy would've given that to me. I was floored and confused. The doc asked if I'd ever seen any outbreaks and I said no way!! He didn't see any reason to treat it so we haven't thus far. I went home and I told the then-boyfriend who reassured me that he loved me anyway and always would [although I'm sure he was thinking he needed to get out ASAP]. The good news is, I'm 95% sure I've never given it to him because he hasn't had any symptoms [although I know most people don't have them]. He hasn't been tested yet but I imagine he will be if he even cares.

So, months pass. We break up. I got over the shock, did a lot of research. I almost convinced myself that I didn't even have it because I've never seen anything. I am struggling with the idea that every guy I meet I have to tell that I have herpes... even though I'd never seen anything!! I even went as far as to put a profile up on PositiveSingles.com to see what kind of men were out there for me. I signed up but didn't make a profile while I was still with the ex [assuming we'd be breaking up] and I saw Kevin. He was gorgeous and hilarious in his ad, and lived about an hour and fifteen minutes from me. I didn't message him until a few months later and we met and we've been dating ever since, almost two months. We're even finding out times where we were right near each other in years past and never knew it...and then we both contract herpes from different people and find each other... so that's kind of weird. He's perfect in every way so far though and I am really excited for where it will go.

So last week I came home from work and laid on the couch and by 8:00 that night I had a 103 fever. I was achy, headache, scratchy throat, and the fever. Not to mention this horrible watery discharge that literally was leaving my underwear soaked! I was miserable for 5 days!!! It wasn't until about, the 3rd day that I realized it might be a break out. I went up to visit Kevin that morning because we had plans to go to the zoo. We had sex and water blood came out. I thought it was fluid and maybe we just went at it too hard, but the more times we did it over the weekend, the more I realized it was an outbreak in my vagina/cervix. I have never been in so much pain in my lifeeee. And from what I hear, it really isn't nearly as bad as some peoples.

As of right now, day 6, the outbreak is dwindling away. The discharge has slowed, if not stopped completely and I feel much better except the lips, and my vagina like ACHE. ACHE!?!?! What the hell? But yeah. So for those of you who have had outbreaks I have a few questions:

1.) I hear the watery discharge is very common, does yours often have blood in it? Mine bled quite a bit, especially when I went to the bathroom. It concerns me a little bit but it's not making a huge difference in things so I figured I shouldn't call the doctor just yet.

2.) I have heard that cervicitis is often herpes that is misdiagnosed, has this happened to any of you?

3.) If your partner has herpes as well, and he gets outbreaks pretty frequently, can his outbreaks affect yours? Or are yours completely based on your body/immune system? Kevin gets them pretty frequently, but my doctor found the antibodies back in March and I have just now had my first outbreak. I am wondering if it's because I am never sick, I'm very healthy, I exercise, eat well, and I happened to have a cold three weeks ago that maybe contributed to an outbreak.

I think those are all of my questions. Of course, I appreciate feedback from anyone who wants to give it, not just people with herpes! I'm sorry this got so long, I just thought I should give a good amount of background info. I look forward to reading your posts and contributing as I can! Thanks!

Comments

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

Welcome to VP!!

I don't really know anything about herpes, but I did want to say that getting a vaginal infection isn't punishment...its just bad luck. Happens to the best of us. :)

Also, not everyone here identifies as a girl/lady/woman, so if you want the best possible advice from EVERYONE on VP, you might want to change your greeting. There are some super knowledgeable folks around here who identify as men/boys/women/other non-girl stuff, and I know that people tend to feel more welcome leaving advice on a given post if the greeting includes them as well.

[ticklemepiink.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, well I was really considering the herp [that's the endearing way I refer to it.] was the punishment.

Oooh sorry, I didn't realize that there were men reading. :)

[archangelbeth]

Punishment would make it sound like some Ineffible Supernatural Force of FOR GREAT JUSTICE inflicted it on you, without even necessarily having your partner have it! More likely, your partner either was a schmuck who didn't tell you he had it, or simply didn't know himself. Just remember: it's basically a cold sore in a very inconvenient and painful place. I've got oral HSV, m'self. Happily, after one breakout which was actually the worst I'd ever had, it hasn't shown up since. Maybe my immune system finally has it in a headlock.

(And members of VP very likely include both men who were born with vaginas, and women who weren't born with vaginas. Livejournal is big. There are many people on it.)

[ticklemepiink.livejournal.com]

Wow lucky you!! I am thinking I didn't have an outbreak until now because my immune system was kicking its ass. I think it's more likely that the guy didn't tell me he had it. He said he was clean but then again he also said he was getting divorced, so yeah. Some days I feel like sending him a text message and saying, "Hey, thanks for giving me herpes, jerk!" but I haven't and probably won't.

And yeah, sometimes I forget how big the world it. Awesome to have so many people who can give you opinions here!

[archangelbeth]

Eep! I was possibly unclear. I actually had oral breakouts for several years, usually just in time to get my driver's license renewed. The last one (thus far) was the worst, though, overlapping onto the skin next to my lip as well as its usual place of large red obnoxiousness near the corner of my mouth. I don't recall the first time my cold sore showed up as being all that bad, oddly. Been years since it's shown up, though; maybe my immune system has it headlocked. Cross fingers.

(BTW, a VP tradition is to try to avoid using "clean" for "disease-free" -- you're not "dirty" from HSV, honest! Any more than my oral HSV makes me dirty, or my hypothyroidism does, for that matter (and that bugger's genetic!). *grin*)

And it is cool to have so many different points of view.

[ticklemepiink.livejournal.com]

Well see, thats the thing...we probably should've avoided sex. I know he had an outbreak two weeks ago and we did it anyway, and then of course when I had mine.... ahhh it just sucks because it's a long distance relationship so as soon as we see each other we pounce! Ha! But yeah, neither of us have been on antivirals because we don't think it's REALLY serious. A lot of people have it a lot worse than we do.

Yeah, this time around I got the fever and the aches and pains, but I really think that was my first official one and it wasn't THAT BAD... other than the fever. So I am hoping the rest from here on out aren't that bad either.

And as for the silver lining, yeah, we both said that we feel as if everything happens for a reason and maybe we were meant to get herpes and find each other! Gross, but cute, haha.

[kelpgarden.livejournal.com]

well, I have it. If he has an outbreak that can give you an outbreak. It sounds to me like he may have had a sore when you had sex. I have never had sores that deep before. It must have been awful for you, I am so sorry! The very first outbreak is the WORST. If this was your first one the next should not be so bad. Try taking L lysine it can ward off an outbreak. You can spread herpes w/o even having an outbreak. It's called shedding. You need to let any partner you have know you have the virus. http://www.herpes.com/ you might want to read up on it. About 20% of the population has it.

[marionravenwood.livejournal.com]

If he has an outbreak that can give you an outbreak.

How would that work, though? The OP has tested positive for HSV2, so I don't see how exposure would matter, unless her partner had HSV1.

[ticklemepiink.livejournal.com]

He definitely has HSV2, not 1. And I see how it could work either way... like because it's skin to skin, the virus could jump from his skin to mine? But also, the virus is already in my body, so if my immune system fights it, it shouldn't matter if he has a break out. All questions I need to ask my gyn when I go!

[archangelbeth]

I suppose it miiiiiiiight be possible that additional virus "support troops" might divert the body or briefly overwhelm the antibodies that were sufficient to keep your resident HSV troops suppressed? That's about all I can think of; I'd be surprised if he had a HSV-2 mutation that would give you concurrent HSV infections of HSV-2a and HSV-2b. (Heck, having a HSV-2 infection, from what I've heard, gives greater protection against HSV-1 in that location. So if the antibodies will fight off a definitely different strain, why wouldn't they fight off a minor mutation?)

But a doctor'd likely know better than I!

[ticklemepiink.livejournal.com]

Well, you sound pretty knowledgable! It makes sense what you said, so I am thinking it's likely that my immune system was weakened by the sinus infection/cold that I never had treated and I got an outbreak. The fever was my body fighting it. Normally when I get colds, if I ever get them, I let my body fight it itself, no medicine, but in this case I think it made things worse doing that. Booo. But it's ok. Thanks for your advice!

[ticklemepiink.livejournal.com]

If he did have a sore when we had sex, that would make sense as to why I am just getting an outbreak now. He worries that I never even had it in the first place and he gave it to me, but that's just not the case. Like, I had the antibodies before now even though I did just have my first outbreak. I did do a lot of research and I know a lot about herpes now, finally. But it still sucks! I actually just read something like 60% of New Yorkers under 30 have it. How alarming!