hello there!

[redroots.livejournal.com]

I'm new here and wow! Is this amazing or what?!
I'm sure thats what all the n00bz say but seriously, this is awesome. I'm going to let it change my life.

Anywho.
Orgasms and masturbation. Wonderful little (or big?) things.
Personally, I'm not 100% sure where I stand with both.

I'm still not 100% sure I have them although, recently more and more I've been thinking I do. Ever since I was little I have done this thing where I lay on a body pillow holding something hard underneath it (usually a flashlight) and rub up against the pillow vigourously. It feels good, like a massage and I think it tickles my clit. The feeling is like, little short bursts of pleasure that build a bit, but very fast to a spasm of just the clit area that only lasts a few pulses while i'm sort of "chasing"(i don't know if thats the right word) the pulses by adding the perfect pressure in the perfect places as long as i can until it stops. It's not earth shaking, nor does it feel like a big release so much as just tiring myself out a bit with my effort and focus. I used to not even think this was masterbation since I'm not touching myself with my hand, but now I know that's silly ;).

Does anyone else do something like this instead of using their fingers or sex toys?

I also have a unique feeling when I'm having sex with my husband. Occasionally, without the need for clitoral stimulation and just from sexual intercourse, my vagina will kinda "puff"(once again, i don't know if this is the right word) what i think is just air out with force and it can sometimes sound like a farting noise (but it's not just an air pocket, it's like i'm physically pushing out from the inside, my husband feels it too). It feels good, but not as good as my pillow and i don't really think its too much of a release. But I'm learning how to hit it harder and make it last a little longer, although the pleasure factor still isn't quite what I imagined an orgasm to be like.

From reading that, does anyone think I'm actually not having an orgasm but rather just being pleased and that i need to keep researching and trying other methods of stimulation to have a "real" one? Anyone else have similar sensations?

p.s.my dream is to squirt some day. that would really take the cake. one can only hope i suppose.

Comments

[melodic-lyrics.livejournal.com]

Just so you know, we don't use the terminology "ladies" or "girls" when addressing other members of the community, because there are people here who aren't ladies or girls, or don't identify as women who can still help you or would be interested in your questions.

As far as your question, each person's experience with orgasm is different. Sometimes there isn't this big build up of "omg release". sometimes it's just kind of like "oh, okay, that happened."

It doesn't sound like you're having an orgasm with your husband, but you may be having an orgasm when you masturbate. But I really don't know.

[redroots.livejournal.com]

oops! sorry about that.
thank you though.

[tornattheelbo.livejournal.com]

expelling air from your vagina is called queefing. literally, you've probably heard the term before. This is not an orgasm, HOWEVER, the bearing down and squeezing ARE integral parts of learning how to enjoy sex better for your own purposes... I can't say that flexing these muscles will for sure procure an orgasm during penetrative sex, but it can help with the process.

as per your last questions. try reading about other peoples' masturbation experiences, maybe it'll help you find something that feels good to you, too
try http://www.mymasturbation.com

and lastly, if you live in a large city, or near one - some sex shops (usually the more progressive women-friendly ones) are affiliated with people who give sex seminars, and you can learn how to do different techniques, etc. Maybe there's something like that near you...?

[redroots.livejournal.com]

woah!!!!
thank you thank you for that linking. that's awesome.

[asunlitrose.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you're definitely having clitoral orgasms when you masturbate. The bursts, build up, and spasm is pretty much what orgasm is for me, although mine can be quite strong. In order to get your orgasms to be stronger, practice Kegel exercises (http://www.childbirth.org/articles/kegel.html) and "hold back" as long as you can during the build-up. Over time, they'll get stronger.

As for the unique feeling during intercourse, it sounds like you're just bearing down to make it feel more pleasurable -- with queefs as an occasional result.

p.s. There are more than just "girls" in VP, and a lot of members who don't identify with that term might be able to help you out/be interested in your information.

[redroots.livejournal.com]

i've just started kegel exercises. they are awesome! thank you!

[tdh-1.livejournal.com]

p.s.my dream is to squirt some day. that would really take the cake. one can only hope i suppose.

I just bought this book. It's awesome!

http://www.isismedia.org/female_ejaculation_gspot.htm

[redroots.livejournal.com]

hmmm i'll have to check that out!
i watched an instructional video with my husband tonight on squirting and while i didn't squirt next time we tried, i really felt like i might soon.
::crosses fingers::