[identity profile] kbird.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] vaginapagina
Hi,

Someone from the LJ community
[Unknown site tag]
recommended I post the following questions here as I might get some response...I would appreciate any feedback please!

if these questions aren't exactly related, I'm sorry, I just don't know where else to ask...

1. Yesterday my partner and I began to play with each other. He put his penis in me, but we don't think he went in all the way. So, am I still a virgin?
Is there anyway to tell if my hymen has been broken by him? Yesterday when we were finished, I felt awful, but I think I was soo stressed worrying about
what might happen from what we did yesterday...

2. I've been taking Ortho Evra for several years now, and applied my first new patch of 3 during my period week, Thursday. Since our playing around yesterday I haven't bled or anything, so does this more than likely
mean I'm ok? I've never missed a period ever before and now I'll have to wait at least 2-3 weeks before my next one comes! I know the patch is like 99%
accurate, so I'm not really worried about becoming pregnant, I'm just wondering if/when I'd see any effects from my escapade yesterday.

3. Finally, does semen stain furniture? We've been playing on the couch, and I just don't want there to be any evidence if possible.

If anyone could please answer some and/or all these questions, I would sincerely appreciate it!!!

Thanks!

Date: 2008-05-20 10:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] californiarose.livejournal.com
Semen or Vaginal Fluid can stain. Generally I've found its easily removed by water and/or carpet cleaner/detergent. I recomend using a towel.

Date: 2008-05-20 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skeas.livejournal.com
1. The definition of virginity is highly variable from person to person. My best friend's boyfriend put his penis in her vagina; she didn't count herself a non-virgin afterward. I considered myself a non-virgin after my boyfriend's penis was in me for the first time. Some people believe that you aren't a virgin if you have oral or manual intercourse.

2. If you have been applying your patches on time, you are protected as much as anyone can be protected.

3. In my experience, semen just leaves a crusty residue which can be dabbed off with a damp rag.

Date: 2008-05-20 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/__recidivist/
1) Oh man. The virginity debate. I happen to think any sex (oral, digital, anal, vaginal, manual, toy-assisted) is sex. I also tend to think that the term "virgin" is ridiculously subjective. I therefore tend to name specific sex acts that I've taken part in, or simply say "I've had sex" if someone asks if I am a virgin. I would say, using my definitions of sex, that, yes you had sex: your vagina was penetrated by something, namely a penis. I think that the fact that something was in there doesn't mean much more than that something was in there, but that it's silly to pretend, if his penis was in you, that his penis wasn't in you. But what do you think? As I say, it's very subjective.

2) If you used your patch correctly for seven days in a row, you're protected. You can also remove it for one week after using it correctly for three weeks (your withdrawal bleeding or period week) and still have your protection be effective.

3) Semen stains are protein stains. Assuming that you are referring to upholstery, use a towel and lukewarm (not hot) water with a mild cleaner (like shampoo, or even rug cleaner) to blot the stain away. Don't scrub, which will work the stain in, or use hot water, which will cook the stain in.

Date: 2008-05-20 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mercy-rain.livejournal.com
Your first question is kind of a tricky one. Some people would say that having been vaginally penetrated by a penis means the end of virginity. Others will counter that non-PIV sexual contact can still be sex. Still others will argue that "virginity" is an outmoded patriarchal cultural concept anyway!

For many of us, our first sexual contact isn't quite so cut-and-dried as it perhaps was in centuries past. Most of us don't go from no sex to full PIV intercourse on our wedding nights, anymore - we might have various levels of contact, some light, some quite involved, before we have what we consider a true "having sex" experience. So the lines are blurred in more ways than one, which I would say is another argument for the obsolescence of the term "virginity."

From all this, I would say - decide for yourself! Do you feel like you have become a sexually active person, who has had an experience that you'd call sex, or do you feel like that's yet to come?

About the hymen - the absence or presence of hymens doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sexual activity. Many, many girls have partially or completely lost theirs long before they became sexually active. And there are women whose hymens have remained in place despite having had plenty of penetration from tampons, fingers, penises, toys, whatever. It just doesn't have much to do with anything.

Sexual activity can muddle a bit with your body - if you were due to start bleeding and haven't, it could be due to the new activity. It can also be due to stress about the same :)

Date: 2008-05-20 11:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ebayer.livejournal.com
Just an FYI. You can see semen on furniture and walls etc., with a black light. I know this from cop shows on TV!

Date: 2008-05-20 11:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nemesister.livejournal.com
I don't think it's likely that your hymen broke then and there with no blood from attempted insertion. Of course, I don't know if you even had/have a hymen. It could be the reason he couldn't go all the way in.

Maybe look at yourself in a hand-mirror and look up hymen on wiki or somewhere for comparison. It is visible.

I think you are asking if the hymen protects you from pregnancy? No, but you were plenty protected anyway, I think.

Date: 2008-05-21 12:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] queensugar.livejournal.com
Others have covered the virginity issue -- there is absolutely no objective or medical definition of virginity, and it's all really based on your cultural understanding of virginity. I actually had a bit of PIV contact with my high school boyfriend, but I never considered that to be "losing my virginity" because at the time I felt that you needed to have penetration for a significant period of time, and theoretically to ejaculation, for it to "count" as sex. Others would say you're no longer a virgin as soon as you have any experience with someone else's genitals, including oral or manual sex. So basically, it's totally up to you. :)

As far as what "effects" you might see from yesterday's experience -- I'm not sure what kind of effects you are expecting. As others mentioned you are extremely protected against pregnancy, and the pregnancy risk from a tiny bit of non-ejaculatory penetration when you're on HBC is virtually nil.

Not all women bleed the first time they have vaginal penetration. Either the hymen doesn't tear very much (or doesn't tear at all), or it tore years ago from other activities, or they were born without one or with only a very small one to begin with.

Date: 2008-05-21 07:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arularia.livejournal.com
"Virgin" is a word without a whole heck of a lot of real meaning. Most people will say that you're a virgin until you've been penetrated by a penis while others will say you're a virgin until you've actually gone through the whole shebang, but who really gives a damn? It's *your* sex life and thus your definitions are the only ones that should matter.

A broken hymen will generally cause a bit of pain/soreness and some bleeding, but not always. It's pretty likely that you could have actually broken your hymen years ago while riding a bike or any number of activities.

As others have said, I really doubt that you're pregnant, but if it'll give you some piece of mind, have your boyfriend use a condom the next time you decide to do this sort of fooling around.

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