Unprotected sex a couple of days before period?

[misfit4leaf.livejournal.com]

A frantic friend of mine wants to know:

She had unprotected sex about two days before the start of her period. She hasn't actually missed a period yet, but I told her I'd ask this fabulous community. The guy never came inside her. What do you think the odds are? I've tried assuring her but she won't listen to me.

Comments

[mari-mac1109.livejournal.com]

If he didn't come, her chances are pretty minimal, especially judging by the time of the month. It's not impossible, but it'd be pretty improbable.

Basically, if he had ejaculated earlier that day and hadn't urinated before they had sex, there could be some sperm in the precum, but those few sperm would have to live in her vagina until she ovulated again and then fertilize the egg. So, possible, but definitely unlikely.

[misfit4leaf.livejournal.com]

She gives her thanks, she is greatly relieved.

[brightflight.livejournal.com]

Assuring her of what, exactly? Googling the statistics is unbelievably easy; if you're talking about reassuring her that everything will be "okay," then I think Plan B and a pregnancy test later on when appropriate is a much smarter choice than that. If remaining un-pregnant is a goal, unprotected sex should not be met with reassurance/positivity.

The only thing you can assure her of is that she clearly isn't going to get an answer RIGHT NOW, so why not wait until it's time to take a pregnancy test, or go to a clinic to get tested?

[misfit4leaf.livejournal.com]

Your whole tone is decidedly combative, and I don't appreciate that. The male in question is a mutual friend of ours and an STD is highly unlikely. A pregnancy, however, is what she's concerned about, because of where she was in her cycle.

That out of the way, I don't appreciate the tone of your comment, and the way that you put the whole thing. Yes, I know that her having unprotected sex was very irresponsible, but neither of us have a right to judge her or her actions.

(frozen)

[brightflight.livejournal.com]

I was hoping assertive, not combative. I'm not trying to have a battle of wits with you––I am telling you that if a friend is "frantic" with a pregnancy scare, reassuring her isn't going to determine whether a zygote forms or not––proper medical action will.

And, if the window of time for an Emergency Contraceptive pill has passed, then there really is nothing you can do until she gets whatever pregnancy testing of her choice done, so she might as well relax. (That was the gist of the second bit of my comment.)

I'm not judging anyone for having unprotected sex in the first place. I've had it, and I've been ridiculously anxious following.. But "what are the odds?" is an extremely unintelligent way of approaching the subject––especially asking an internet forum that is peopled with both very knowledgeable and very atrociously misinformed people. There are medical texts, there are reference books; there are reputable websites, even.

(frozen) Safe Space Warning

[jocelina.livejournal.com]

Hi, brightflight. I'm writing on behalf of the VP Team to express concern that the attitude and/or wording above do not foster what we consider safe space (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=VaginaPagina_FAQ#What_is_.22Safe_Space.22.3F_What_does_.22empowerment.22_mean.3F) in this community.

Telling another member that her post is "an extremely unintelligent way of approaching the subject" is extremely disrespectful. VP exists to provide accurate, factual information -- much of it comes from the medical texts, reference books, and reputable websites you mention, and all of it is evaluated not only by VP's maintainers but by the community as a whole.

While the OP and her friend may wish to seek additional sources of information, there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking questions such as this one in VP, and suggesting that a question is wrong or foolish is both disrespectful and disempowering.

Please consider this a warning as well as a friendly reminder to take this opportunity to review VP's policies. You can find more information on safe space (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=VaginaPagina_FAQ#What_is_.22Safe_Space.22.3F_What_does_.22empowerment.22_mean.3F) in our FAQ (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=VaginaPagina_FAQ), as linked here:

--What are VP's rules? (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=VaginaPagina_FAQ#What_are_the_rules.3F)
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You are more than welcome to make a post over in contact_vp or to contact us via email (http://www.vaginapagina.com/contact.php) if you'd like to talk more about this matter or clarify any points; we only ask that you refrain from commenting further here out of respect for the OP. For that reason, replies to this thread will be frozen.


Jocey
For the VP Team (http://www.vaginapagina.com/contact.php)
contact_vp

[brightflight.livejournal.com]

Also, though I did not originally choose to address STIs, again, "highly unlikely" doesn't really mean all that much. Carriers, latent symptoms, etc., etc.

[musicgirl312.livejournal.com]

I apologize if this is a dumb question, but would PlanB likely do any good, even if taken right after the incident? As I understand it, the only PROVEN effect of PlanB is to prevent an ovulation from occurring, and if the unprotected sex in question happened 2 days before the girl's period, she's almost certainly ovulated, no?

[brightflight.livejournal.com]

Well, there is the (possible/likely) benefit of the thickening of cervical mucous to further discourage insemination. I believe it also discourages attachment of an egg or fertilized zygote to the lining of your uterus.

Also, ovaries get up to funny business––I know mine do. I honestly would not trust them farther than I could throw them. I've had a completely ridiculous menstrual cycle since I was 11.

[musicgirl312.livejournal.com]

From what I've read in the community recently, I was under the impression that the "stops implantation" effect of PlanB had come into serious question and that there's now a decent chance that it DOESN'T. As far as cervical mucous goes, I am unsure.

And yes, I agree that ovaries can be wacky, but most women most cycles will be non-fertile by 2 days from the end of their cycle.

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

Yep yep -- I can't get the link now for some reason (the Vulvapedia isn't loading for me), but there's a link in the EC Vulvapedia to a Princeton article that states that Plan B does not appear to prevent implantation of a fertilized egg.

[archangelbeth]

Almost certainly ovulated, and long enough ago that the ova is no longer viable, yes. The Plan B would be to eliminate the chance of a freak ovulation, or in case stress had pushed the date of ovulation waaaaay out of whack.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_crystalmyth/]

She would have ovulated, but you're only fertile for a few days. Once the egg is released from the fallopian tube down into the uterus, it's not able to be fertilized.

Women usually aren't fertile in the days leading up to their period.

[archangelbeth]

If remaining un-pregnant is a goal, unprotected sex should not be met with reassurance/positivity.

But neither should it be met with scare tactics.

The timing of the unprotected sex (probably far after ovulation had happened, and unlikely to be within 5-7 days of the next cycle's ovulation), and the lack of ejaculation mean that the odds are with "not pregnant." The question is whether the OP's friend considers the odds to be sufficient to her desire not to become pregnant, or if she wants to be extra-mega-positive.

In which case, she should get Plan B.

There's no reason to imply that "OMG ALL SEX = PREGNANCY" on this community. There are plenty of other places which think it's okay to claim that any sex could cause a spontaneous ovulation with ninja sperm jumping out of the penis and rappelling from the thighs into the vagina. Here, though, it's better to give the statistics so that people can make their own decision about whether the odds are comforting enough for them or if they want to take further precautions.

Me, in my relationship? I'd not be comfortable with having done it, but I wouldn't bother with Plan B. It would not be a disaster if my husband and I had another kid. The OP, in an unknown relationship with her partner? Might consider any risk to be too great, and want to seek Plan B to reduce or eliminate the chance of a freak ovulation just before her period would normally have come, or guard against the chance that stress had delayed her ovulation sufficiently to make her due for one unexpectedly.

[sabbyoh.livejournal.com]

very very slim chance

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[glasspumpkin.livejournal.com]

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Molly
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[queensugar.livejournal.com]

The odds aren't high, no. The only way she could get pregnant from that is if she had had an unusually late ovulation this cycle without being aware of it (meaning that her cycle would be longer this time than normal, and her period would be a week and a half or more away, not two days).

After all, an egg is only available to be fertilized for about 24 hours after ovulation, which occurs roughly 12-16 days before the start of a period.

If no semen got in her vagina, the chances as well are greatly reduced, even if she was near ovulation.

So tell her to hang on for a few days -- she'll probably get her period right on time, and that means she could not have become pregnant from that incident.

[misfit4leaf.livejournal.com]

Well she told me that she's started cramping like she normally does before her period, so I'm sure she'll be fine. She's just a worry wart.

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

One thing that might help is to talk about what she would do if she was pregnant. I don't think she is, based on the information you gave. Sounds like the chances are pretty low. But maybe you could help her make a plan for if she is...that way the potential results might seem less scary.