Herpes disclosure

[skeas.livejournal.com]

The recent post about herpes brought up some questions for me.

My question is: Is it always necessary for an infected person to tell a potential partner?

From a theoretical standpoint, YES! Yes, yes, yes! But consider a few scenarios:

You haven't had an outbreak since your first one--15 years ago. As most of us know, herpes is transmittable even when the infected person doesn't have a sore. However, plenty of us infected people just avoid sex/kissing when we have a sore, and the other partner is fine. Do you still let your partner know about an outbreak you had at 20, when you are now 35? Do you risk ruining the whole relationship (because people generally freak out when the word "herpes" in involved) over a nearly negligible risk?

You have oral herpes. Studies show that 80% of us have herpes antibodies, and might be carriers of the disease without even knowing it. Yet I've never, ever heard of someone fessing up before a liplock. Do you let everyone you are about to kiss know that you have oral herpes? I personally feel like everyone is aware of--or should be aware of--a certain risk that's involved with intimate behavior like kissing or sex. You could catch mono, a cold, the flu, herpes, et cetera. You do what you can to prevent it, but it's still there.

For that matter, is there a difference between disclosing about oral herpes (which you can write off under the more innocuous name of cold sores) and genital herpes? Do you have more of a responsibility to tell a partner about genital herpes? And why?

Comments

[frolicnaked.livejournal.com]

... but then you risk the chance of catching it from your spouse and passing it on to your child.

True, nothing is risk free, but sources suggest that the risk of this happening is relatively low. Planned Parenthood (http://www.plannedparenthood.org/sexual-health/std/herpes.htm) says:

"Most women who have herpes don't need to worry. Rarely does a woman with recurrent herpes pass the infection on to her newborn."

Generally, according to the American Academy of Family Physicians (http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/common/sexinfections/sti/091.html#ArticleParsysMiddleColumn0013), the only time of "big concern" is during birth:

"The baby is usually safe in the uterus. When the baby passes through the birth canal, it may catch herpes. Your doctor may do a cesarean section ("C-section") if you have an outbreak at the time you go into labor, so the baby won't have to go through your birth canal."

However, if the mother isn't experiencing an active outbreak at the time of birth, Herpes.com (http://www.herpes.com/pregnancy.shtml) (citing the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) lists the standard of care as vaginal delivery.

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

And although it isn't totally on-topic to the original post, I will add that it is also possible to treat a newborn who was possibly exposed to herpes during delivery in order to prevent them contracting the virus. And also that it is important that pregnant women who think they may have genital herpes are very clear about that with their doctor, and demand appropriate care; the dangers of medical staff unfamiliar with appropriate responses are all too sadly illustrated by a recent high-profile case (http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/story/4097027p-4695170c.html) in my city. With proper medical awareness and attention, the risk of illness or damage to a newborn with an HSV2 positive mother is very very low.