Sexual Assult?

[midnightsphinx.livejournal.com]

edit (whole story)


I am really confused over a situation. Basically last night, I got a little too drunk and my friends and I were giving eachother massages. One of my friends is a massage therapist so she was teaching us moves. I was hanging out with her and two other guys. I was walking around pretty comfortably without my top on.

Anyway this guy goes on and on about how big his penis is, and friend and I were like "yeah right....prove it" He said he had to get it hard first and began touching himself and later asked if he could give me a massage.

I didn't say anything, because well, I was pretty out of it. And I thought he was so just going to massage my back like earlier.

So he is wearing a loose pair of shorts straddling me and "massaging". He creeps down to my breasts and I move away. Then he starts humping and rubbing me with his crotch. at times thrusting all the while with clothes on. He even trys to put his hand down my pants but I moved away. I said no and I said I wasnt comfortable and stop but he didn't. Part of me thinks maybe he didn't hear me. I was all messed up and probably mumbling.

I feel confused on this issue. In away I feel responsible for letting him massage me, and taking off my top and being a little bit of a "tease" that night. I did ask for him to prove his size and on his behalf he was a little drunk too. Also, even though I didn't want him doing this, I think part of me was maybe a little turned on by this.

What makes me mad is my "girlfriend" didnt do anything about it. She was just talking in the corner with another guy. later, when I talked about it, she said he did that too her before and laughed it off.

This is guy is a friend of mine so I am really at a loss what to do.

Sorry if this doesnt belong here. I am just angry and feeling pretty disgusted with myself right now

Comments

(frozen) Re: I am going to say no.

[purplevenus.livejournal.com]

It sure was, sweetie. But in guy speak, "Massage" generally means "foreplay". Talk to him about it, tell him you didn't appreciate it, and then keep your wits about you.
Best wishes.

(frozen) Re: I am going to say no.

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna have to disagree on that one. I've never had a guy, when I've asked for a massage, do anything other than touch my back -- even my boyfriend. If I ask for a massage that's what I get. Guys are perfectly capable of knowing the difference between a back massage and feeling somebody up, even when drunk. He may have thought the okay for a massage meant he could safely venture to other parts of her body, but that's not because "massage" universally means "foreplay" to guys. It sounds more like he was thinking that since he was already touching her in one way it was okay to do it another way without having to ask. But he should have asked.

(frozen) Re: I am going to say no.

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

I agree with you Loopylupinelover. Guys aren't all sex maniacs, and even those who are, they also have brains that understand language.

I'd also like to point out that if a person is "too drunk to say no" they are also far too drunk to say Yes. And that when you engage in sexual activity with someone, the ethical thing to do is to make sure they are saying "yes, I want to do this" before you procede.