vaginapagina | From a male, supporting your SO when she is taken advantage of. Possible triggers (Reply)

Hello,

A while back I joined under another username for the wrong reasons, and was really amazed to learn about alot of the things women go though. Knowledge I have gained from here has helped me with relationships and friendships when they needed help. I try to chime in with the male PoV on things I know.

My Situation:

I was dating the girl I thought I wanted to merry, obviously too young, but I was completely blinded by love. She constantly hurt me and had serious issues. She cheated on me the first time with her ex, and after talking to me about it, i stayed with her. The second time was with a guy she had known a few years, and it gets a little hazy.

She performed oral sex on him, was naked, and teased him with sex. She did not consent to having sex and he did rape her.

This put me in the worst position I have ever been in.

My Question:

How should I have reacted? It was so hard to not blame her, on one hand I was hurt beyond belief, on the other, had I left, she would have killed herself as she was suicidal.

What I ended up doing:

I ended up sticking with her for another 6 months, though some of the worst situations in my life, finally with all the strength I could muster I broke it off after getting hurt too many times. However during the time after her rape, I supported her like she had never cheated, though she knew deep down I blamed her. Does that make me a bad person?

I understand if this does not belong here, this is something that to this day, almost 2 years later has bothered me. I just have so many questions constantly swimming though my head about it, I decided to ask.