bah.

[kreie.livejournal.com]

I often put vulvas on my desktop wallpaper. I have a friend who comes over to use my computer, and when she sees these vulvas (these REAL vulvas presented in an artful way, not pornstar vulvas), she always starts complaining about how gross it is and how much it creeps her out, and it's always, "Leanna! ...You didn't put this up, did you? Oh, it's so gross. You really should change it or cover it up or something." It really makes me feel like she conforms to the vaginainstitute.com's standard of beauty.

That bothers me. One of those times it was my vulva, which, by the way, she's had some personal experience with, and it's a bit insulting. I don't think I told her who the vulva belonged to, but still. I guess my vulva is too hairy. I guess the lips are too big, I guess they're lopsided. I guess it doesn't matter that my clitoris is my favorite body part, and that it did much more for me than my nice sedate breasts ever did. I wonder how a well-educated, open-minded person is still at a point where she, for all appearances, hates vulvas and hates her vulva. Because I don't think you can think vulvas are gross without hating your own. In the same vein, she'll never get a person to lay her halfway decently if she doesn't respect herself and her vulva and whip other folks into shape about loving her vulva.

I gave her a copy of Cunt by Inga Muscio. I wonder if it'll make any difference.

Comments

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

This seems like a perfect time to bring up the Vulva Poster. I'm not sure of the details at this point, but firinel was working on it, but didn't get nearly enough submissions to make it fly. It's basically intended to be a poster full of small photos of our vulvas -- OURS! Us! -- in all their glorious variety, without names attached, but she hasn't gotten nearly enough submissions to make a poster out of them.

I sent in my pussy picture, in all it's big-inner-lipped, fat-mounded glory to twinkle delightfully at poster-viewers everywhere, and I encourage others to do the same. I didn't save the details in a memory, though -- anyone else have them?

[happyapathy.livejournal.com]

I don't think they're gross, but I wouldn't want one as my wallpaper. Just like I don't think penises are gross (and yeah, I've had personal exreiences with those), but I wouldn't want them on my wallpaper either. I don't think there's anything wrong with my vulva, but I wouldn't want to stare at it all day. Just because I don't want to see one doesn't mean I hate my own, you know? I dunno. Just a thought! =)

Re:

[kreie.livejournal.com]

It's not her wallpaper, though. It's my wallpaper on my computer and when she's using it she only actually looks at it for a couple of seconds, since it usually gets covered up by IE and MS Word and all that. So it's not like she's staring at it all day.

[brandyshea.livejournal.com]

I can understand what she means. I don't think vulvas are anything to be ashamed of and I believe they're all beautiful, no matter what shape, color or size, but it's not really something I want on my computer desktop, or that I would want to look at on someone else's computer.

[poopsmoothie.livejournal.com]

I don't know, there are people I know and respect who think they look gross. I think that's okay. I think certain types of breast are gross. I don't mean that there's anything wrong with vulvas, just that it's okay for people to not find them attractive.

[pebele.livejournal.com]

you can't really change her opinion on something, especially if she is not willing to look at things another way. but what you can do is tell her that if she doesn't like your wallpaper, then she doesn't have to use your computer. I'd get pissed off if someone was constantly complaining about something of mine that I was kind enough to let them use, no matter what it was, so tell her that.

[valancyjane.livejournal.com]

I sort of know what you mean ... I had a similar feeling about one of my friends a few weeks ago, and we were also talking about computer wallpaper! She had some gorgeous flower, a daisy maybe, yellow with red at the tips, as her wallpaper, and the red kind of faded out into a sunset in the back ... it was beautiful, and I told her so. I said, "It looks very Georgia O'Keeffe," and it might have or it might not have, I don't remember, but I meant it as a compliment. She kind of paused and said, "Oh. Maybe I'll take it down then. Isn't that the woman whose stuff looks like ... you know ..."

I mean, if you're not used to looking at your own vulva, or being fully conscious of "private parts" at all, then, yes, it would be a little strange to come face to face with one. (Or to imagine a painter using that as a jumping-off point for something as innocent as flowers.) But by the time you're our age (I'm 25, she's 28), you should be comfortable with your own body, at least. And in this case, it wasn't as if her specific wallpaper looked like a vulva.

I don't know, everyone has their own levels of openness about body stuff, but I was a little taken aback at her reaction. So I know what you're saying.