Attitudes Towards Genitalia---Rant

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

I feel like I'm being an asshat for writing this, but it's been on my mind lately...

Why does the concept of "having balls" have connotations of courage/strength?

I think it's quite interesting that the phrase is so common. As a woman struggling with the functions of my sexual organs, I think it makes no sense whatsoever. Having testicles is certainly vulnerable, but I think it's safe to assume that a woman goes through more suffering throughout her life due to her ovaries and uterus than a man experiences with some shots to the nuts. How many times in his life does a man receive a blow to his testicles? Often enough for his tastes, I am quite sure. And based upon the observable reactions, it's clear that the contact is quite painful. But the pain will go away, and the balls will recover relatively soon.

I'm happy with my sex organs--I think their hidden nature adds a bit of mystery to my anatomy. I like being a woman. I believe that our organs undergo so much more stress with their functions. The pain and stress of periods, every single month, for decades. Not only do we swell and stretch in order to produce children, we carry them around for nine months. And after that feat, we must somehow let them out of our bodies through our vaginas. We have to deal with painful changes in our breasts, whether due to the menstrual cycle or childbirth. And then menopause.

I'm certainly not complaining about being a woman. I feel quite strong as I survive the antics of my body. I believe, however, that the expression of "having balls" is ridiculous, taking the female situation into perspective. I've been trying to replace "having balls" with "having a uterus" in my everyday speech, because it tells of such struggles which the testicles can only dream about. What's so tough about balls anyway? Sure, it takes strength to be vulnerable, but once hit, the owner of the pair curls up on the floor. What do women do with our organs? We continue to have children. That's what. Birth control, smirth control. It's a well needed break.

I have one tough uterus.

Comments

[hexeengel.livejournal.com]

I think it has to do with traditional gender roles; The man was supposed to be the strong, brave, gutsy one, and his testicles are certainly an obvious characterstic (being that they're external organs, rather than a uterus and ovaries being internal). Also, those qualities are also attributed to the presence of testosterone, which is produced in the testicles. So, it has little to do with how resilient the organs actually are, and more what they're associated with.

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

I agree with this...my little feminist spurts lead me to take things out of context. I don't agree with the traditional connotations, but it explains the expression.

[ex-birds977.livejournal.com]

Just use GONADS, we've all got those!! :).... er.... right?

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

I like that. Very egalitarian :)

[memorygilded.livejournal.com]

I think it's because the larger the balls, the more "manly" a guy is- and strength and toughness is supposed to be a masculine trait. So, while I agree that balls are quite fragile things (any organ lying outside the body would be) I don't think it has to do with the organs themselves.

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

.....that is wonderful.

May I have your permission to print this off and post it in my office at the Womens' Centre? It's....it's amazing.

[supgrahhh.livejournal.com]

I agree.
I loved it.

[manny-bee.livejournal.com]

i like the idea of saying "damn that took ovaries" i think i'm gonna use it..lol


but i think having balls means to be a man. i read this somewhere:
what it means to have balls:
a man comes home to his wife late at night, drunk, and smelling of another woman's perfume-brave
a man comes home to his wife late at night, drunk, and smelling of another woman's perfume, slaps her on the ass and says, "you're next".-that took balls
i find it funny. i hope i didnt offend.

but in essence, women are stronger....

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, no offense taken! It's amusing.

And our ovaries kick ass.

[armscrossed.livejournal.com]

ovaries of steel.

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

teehee...I like that. It makes me think of ovaries as a means of self defense.

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

hehehe...sweet :)

[ashlingrainbow.livejournal.com]

you may enjoy bitch and animal's song "pussy manifesto"

They use "that took EGGS!"

:)

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

I'll have to check that out, it sounds wonderful!

[duck-doesnt-do.livejournal.com]

IMO it's not about pain, it's about the 'balls' signifying a man. men have always been thought of as tougher, braver and stronger therefore 'having balls' would mean a person has one of these qualities.

* please dont give me shit about this - i'm just explaining my interpretation of our culture, not my personal opinion *

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I agree with that--the cultural significance of "having balls." It's a flawed notion imo, but there's definitely a context for the expression.

[sand-woman.livejournal.com]

I quite see your point; I suspect if I asked my man about this he'd say that "having balls" refers to living up to his (rather high) ideals of what it is to be a man, which for him includes bravery, honour, responsibility.

I do think it sounds ridiculous to refer to a woman as "having balls" because she's demonstrated courage. I think og "female courage" and "male courage" sometimes - both equally strong, but with different significance, like the mother lion who defends her cubs.

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

I really like that idea of male and female courage--I personally think ours goes unnoticed/unappreciated much of the time, but it's undoubtedly there.

[fiain.livejournal.com]

I.LOVE.YOU.

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

teehee...thanks!

[ellinht.livejournal.com]

The whole label of being a woMAN or feMALE I think is so that the men has ownership over our bodies, because we are part of them in name alone. It is so conservative and sadly still true, so I don't let people call me a woman or a female... I am a PERSON :D actually one of my best male friends told me that if he were a girly he would just refer to himself as a person and thats where I got the idea from.

I mean Eve was created to be a play thing of Adam right? so naturally we have these phrases that are horribly sexist and only related to males, it really is unfortunate that they have stuck!

I'm not a huge feminist but I believe in equality for men and women and so I loved your post!

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with what you said...I'm not a huge feminist either, but I get really bothered by those sorts of things. Those terms are so deeply rooted into our language and ideas...it's really difficult to change them.

[the-fee-fairy.livejournal.com]

Have you also noticed how the most offensive insults use the female genitalia...

ie you're a C**t (i hate that word with a passion) being the most offensive thing you can call someone.

If you call then a dick, or a prick, then its funny.

Mens genitalia: funny
Womens: offensive.

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

You bring up a good (but unfortunate) point. I know that based on my own perceptions of the genders, I'd much rather be called a female organ than a male. If only society viewed it as that!

[obvious.livejournal.com]

When I say "that took a lot of balls" I never mean it as a compliment. I usuaully say it when someone does something really rude and uncalled for. Something that shows their entitlement complex. Not everyone else uses it in the same context, thanks for reminding me of this.

Great post.

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing your perceptions of it--I never thought about it that way. But I definitely like your thinking behind it.

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

I agree...if ovaries and testes had some kind of deathmatch, the ovaries would definitely win.

[asunlitrose.livejournal.com]

I love your post. In fact, I was laying in bed being lazy and supposed to be getting up and this post made me jump out of bed. All language is male in nature, having been created and maintained by male. As other posters have mentioned, woMAN and feMALE are just a couple of examples. I did a unit about gender stereotyping in one of my classes and people are always so surprised of the connotations words have. We discussed what is means to "be a man" and what it means to "be ladylike" and then the insults if you aren't those things. The worse insults to a man is to be called a woman and challenge his masculinity - calling him a bitch, or a pussy, or any derogatory gay remarks. The biggest insults to women are challenging their sexuality - slut, whore, or calling them a bitch if they possess assertiveness or seem "too powerful" (a male trait).

It pisses me off that the biggest insult to a man is to be a woman. Really, there are worse things in the world to be. Being called a woman should be a compliment, but I know it won't be that way. Loved your post!

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it! I totally agree that being a woman and possessing the genitalia of a woman should have positive connotations. We kick ass, in our own womanly ways.

[nebulosity.livejournal.com]

I guess men relate "bigger balls" to larger amounts of testosterone which makes them stronger and more manly?

btw, I enjoyed reading the post.

[ms-douchebag.livejournal.com]

That makes a lot of sense. I guess from a man's perspective, higher testosterone levels are a good thing. I don't view it that way, but taking the male perspective into account, the expression makes much more sense.

[lekker-anna.livejournal.com]

My friends & I say, "that took a lot of clit".

[mein-liebe.livejournal.com]

That's great!

I've gotten into the habit of substituting 'ovaries' for 'balls' myself, though. But this is great!

[poonchkie.livejournal.com]

Guys may have "to get balls" for courage. However, I have the ovaries to get through tough times. I've got ovarian fortitude which I think is so much more hardcore cuz it's a lot harder for someone to chop off, kick, damage my ovaries compared to testicles.

[obvious.livejournal.com]

hehehe, yeah. I always joke around with my friends about how poorly designed males are. The most sensitive part of their body just hangs right there for anyone to kick. *shakes head* I don't get it.

[spacegirl-spiff.livejournal.com]

my friend's mom has been using "brass ovaries" for years!
and i agree with the person above me. my frickin ovaries are a lot harder to damage with a kick to the groin, or blade, or whathaveyou.

[capnhowdie.livejournal.com]

i also find it funny that you "become a woman" an menarch and boys "become a man" the first time they get laid....not exactly fair is it?

[http://users.livejournal.com/__recidivist/]

I say "that takes a lot of box", even when talking about men. Take that, inherited ideas of patriachy!

[persephonesix.livejournal.com]

heh, this is a great post :-)

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

I've told both male and female friends to 'grow a pair' when they're being whiny/chicken about something. I've also called male and female friends jerks, bitches, whores, dicks, cocksuckers, fuckers, and assholes. I try to be equal opportunity when insulting those I care about! ;)

[laughing-dreams.livejournal.com]

and "growing a pair" can refer to either balls or ovaries :-)

[zapps.livejournal.com]

I think it's becuase testosterone makes guys do some pretty stupid things, which are either considered foolhardy, brave, or, well, stupid and inconsiderate, thus covering all uses I've heard of the word. :P

On the other hand, being a female, I have been told I had balls, after doing somethings that were extremely hard/dangorus....guess it's not just testosterone poisining, after all :p