helping a pre-teen...

[meekly.livejournal.com]

My little cousin is turning 12 this year and I'm thinking of creating a book just for her about all the female thnigs that we MUST know. I'm not going to explain to her about sex and how it happens because I think thats for her mom to do... but I wonder what YOU ladies think should be added in the book.

Comments

[robynchick.livejournal.com]

How your period works, places to go if you need help/birth control.

[geminigirl]

You might try Boston Women's Health Collective's "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives" for what you're looking for. (If you're familiar with "Our Bodies, Ourselves" this is a similar book, published for teens.

[shakidaisy.livejournal.com]

i agree with this. i just gave "Our Bodies, Ourselves" to my 16 year-old sis.

[emmycantbemeeko.livejournal.com]

Thirded. This book was a lifesaver for me as a teen.

Probably literally.

[auraesque.livejournal.com]

A period emergency kit complete with a bar of chocolate, a list of the top cramp reducing remedies, and a little do-it-yourself cloth pad with pre-cut material and a needle--now that would be cute.

OP, if you can snag some books from the library, like 28 Days or Our Bodies, Ourselves, what about sifting through them for some cute trivia information?

You might also include an age appropriate reading list.

[xorangejuice.livejournal.com]

I'd include diagrams (you'd be surprised what young girls don't know about their bodies...)

This is so true... I learned next to nothing about my body in school (I'm now 18), and while I'm still trying to learn, my boyfriend knows wayyyy more on the subject than I do.

[ennyleve.livejournal.com]

I'd include diagrams

or hell, i'd even include non-pornographic photos of naked people. i remember being so incredibly curious about what other people, men and women, looked like naked, that me and some friends ended up watching what was soft-core porn when we were around that age... (we got bored when they showed only boobs and people having sex and failed to show a shot of a penis just hanging there, since we really just wanted to see one. it wasn't a sex thing, it was just a human bodies thing)

[mermaiddrowning.livejournal.com]

In addition to the wonderful suggestions that have already been made, you should consider giving her a copy of the book "Cunt" it is absolutely a wonderful read that i would reccomend to any young woman.

[meekly.livejournal.com]

I don't know how my aunt would react if I got her a book named "Cunt" but I'll check it out and see if its age approriate for a 12 year old

[queenofdelosers.livejournal.com]

Pros/cons of shaving your area, and what exactly is "normal" (and how there is no such thing when it comes to how our bits look). No one ever told me about how the vulva should look. I guess it was assumed that I would never see another one, so it didn't matter. Oops... I saw some, thought something was wrong with mine. And I was never told about shaving that area and ended up with some bad knicks.

Also a run down about STDs and things of that nature. And a list of informative websites like the ones that they have here in this community!

[emmycantbemeeko.livejournal.com]

Make sure you run it by her mom first. It's an awesome idea imo, but her mom may not be thrilled with someone else giving her this information, and family conflict is always bad.

Also, I'd focus more on "things may seem like they change constantly for a while, it's ok to be awkward or confused, I'm always here for you, you're awesome, and it's all going to turn out all right" messages over very specific sexual/STD/menstrual information- mostly because I think that sort of information is a. already covered really well in some great books like Changing Bodies, Changing Lives, which I highly recommend and b. best transmitted face-to-face. ie, let her know you've been through all the stuff she's about to go through, that it's ok to talk about it, and that you're always willing to be the one she talks to. That, I think, is more useful and more age-appropriate and likely to be well received and helpful than anything else you could tell her. A book or a photo album specific to you and her, recognizing that she's on the cusp of womanhood, and being open about and celebrating that fact, as well as the positive parts of growing up that DON'T have to do with reproductive biology (just getting older, more responsible and also more trusted and depended on, that sort of thing) seems like it would do so much to help a girl be comfortable with herself and know she can be open with her family than any amount of sterile, factual information on puberty etc ever could.

I think it's a great idea. Major kudos to you for being so supportive of your cousin.

[mynameissnuffy.livejournal.com]

Include info that will help her like how the vagina is self cleaning, etc.; facts like these will help her build healthy opinions and ideas about her vagina. Also you may want to suggest some informative websites just in case she needs to know other things that you didn't cover in the book.

It's a great idea, you're an awesome cousin. My little cousin made me a bracelet two days ago. She's only seen me twice and she's 7 so she practically just met me, but we played games and colored and she liked me and the bracelet says "I Like You Jessica." Priceless. I wear it all the time.

[lizzi-barth.livejournal.com]

Maybe something similiar to the wonderful everyday bodies project? You could even just draw silly little cartoons of people... all shapes and sizes with wonky bits and all the rest of it. Just so she grows up aware of just how much we all vary, and how you're not necessarily 'abnormal' if you don't look like celebrities. I'm 18 now and only *just* starting to get over soooo many body insecurities. I wish I'd had someone tell me when I was younger that bodies are NOT perfect - things are weird and wacky and don't match and are asymetrical with jiggly bits where we maybe don't think there should be jiggly bits ... and that's okay!

[https://users.livejournal.com/--pleiades--/]

I'd put something in there about how not all cycles are 28 days (for years I thought I was abnormal for having 24-day cycles), and how you're not necessarily going to turn out to be a copy of your mother. I felt really bummed when I didn't get my period by age 13, as had my mother, her mother, and her mother before that. I figured it was proof I was less female or something.

Also, maybe clue her in on things like ovulation cramps--I was lucky in that, when I started having them, my mom just explained what they were. But if you haven't heard of them before, they might be pretty scary/confusing.