Dear Vagina,
Nov. 8th, 2002 01:31 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
sophy.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
vaginapaginaI've been noticing people talking some about their feelings about their vagina lately, and I was really pondering whether or not I should post this, but finally decided to just go ahead and do it.
I wrote this a few months ago, after reading the Vagina Monologues and thinking about what I'd like to say to my own vagina...
Dear Vagina:
We have not had an easy relationship – with ourselves, with one another, or with the world.
But you are a part of me, an essential part, and a beautiful part.
We’ve been through many ups and downs together.
We were sexually abused together, and we closed ourselves off because of that. We agreed not to let anyone in, and while that was an important and appropriate stance to take at the time, it’s not something that we can continue to do.
I blame myself for this, not you. You’ve just been doing what I told you to so long ago, because I’ve been ignoring you ever since. I haven’t given you any new instructions.
We were also ignored by our family, who should have known what had happened and helped us, but since that didn’t happen, we did our best with the situation, and being so young, there was only so much that we knew to do.
When we got our period, that was really rough, too. We got teased in school for a long time, and we hated ourselves, and frankly, each other. We blamed each other for what was happening every month, and part of that was because of the whole ignoring you thing, and I’m sorry.
I worked hard at not blaming you for the periods, and when I finally made peace with that, you lightened up on me somewhat. I appreciate that. It meant a lot to me to not have such a heavy flow every month, and to be more regular and predictable. Part of that was due in part to my paying more attention to what was going on with you, and I’m glad that we were able to establish a relationship in that way, at least.
I have tried, at times, to intrude on you, either by myself, or with the help of a doctor or boyfriend. That wasn’t fair. I hadn’t let you know that it was okay to rescind my initial orders to not let anyone in. I hadn’t communicated with you at all, and I also had not asked any of the would be intruders to do so.
I want to make peace with you.
I would like for us to be friends.
But mostly, I want you to know that we’re adults, now, and that it’s okay for us to be touched when we wish for it to happen.
It’s still okay for us to say no, and to go slowly even when we say yes.
But it’s okay to be touched.
We made it through that one doctor’s visit all right, remember?
I want to touch you, and to have you feel that touch in a favorable way.
I would also like for my boyfriend Dave to be able to touch you, and for that to be a positive experience for us both. Dave loves and respects us both, and we will find a way for him to communicate with you, as well, instead of intruding on you as has been done in the past.
We can do this, but we have to do it together.
I want you to know that I love you, and accept you, and need you.
You are a place of beauty and pleasure.
I want to get you know better, and I promise to do so gently.
I hope that you will accept all of my apologies and help me in the process of greeting you into my life.
Love,
Your body and soul-mind host.
P.S. To the breasts and also the hips – this goes for you, too. Let’s be friends, and allow ourselves to heal together. Thank you for being a part of me, and please accept my apologies for ignoring you for so long and for allowing you to be so guarded for so long. There is much pleasure and happiness ahead for us all.
I wrote this a few months ago, after reading the Vagina Monologues and thinking about what I'd like to say to my own vagina...
Dear Vagina:
We have not had an easy relationship – with ourselves, with one another, or with the world.
But you are a part of me, an essential part, and a beautiful part.
We’ve been through many ups and downs together.
We were sexually abused together, and we closed ourselves off because of that. We agreed not to let anyone in, and while that was an important and appropriate stance to take at the time, it’s not something that we can continue to do.
I blame myself for this, not you. You’ve just been doing what I told you to so long ago, because I’ve been ignoring you ever since. I haven’t given you any new instructions.
We were also ignored by our family, who should have known what had happened and helped us, but since that didn’t happen, we did our best with the situation, and being so young, there was only so much that we knew to do.
When we got our period, that was really rough, too. We got teased in school for a long time, and we hated ourselves, and frankly, each other. We blamed each other for what was happening every month, and part of that was because of the whole ignoring you thing, and I’m sorry.
I worked hard at not blaming you for the periods, and when I finally made peace with that, you lightened up on me somewhat. I appreciate that. It meant a lot to me to not have such a heavy flow every month, and to be more regular and predictable. Part of that was due in part to my paying more attention to what was going on with you, and I’m glad that we were able to establish a relationship in that way, at least.
I have tried, at times, to intrude on you, either by myself, or with the help of a doctor or boyfriend. That wasn’t fair. I hadn’t let you know that it was okay to rescind my initial orders to not let anyone in. I hadn’t communicated with you at all, and I also had not asked any of the would be intruders to do so.
I want to make peace with you.
I would like for us to be friends.
But mostly, I want you to know that we’re adults, now, and that it’s okay for us to be touched when we wish for it to happen.
It’s still okay for us to say no, and to go slowly even when we say yes.
But it’s okay to be touched.
We made it through that one doctor’s visit all right, remember?
I want to touch you, and to have you feel that touch in a favorable way.
I would also like for my boyfriend Dave to be able to touch you, and for that to be a positive experience for us both. Dave loves and respects us both, and we will find a way for him to communicate with you, as well, instead of intruding on you as has been done in the past.
We can do this, but we have to do it together.
I want you to know that I love you, and accept you, and need you.
You are a place of beauty and pleasure.
I want to get you know better, and I promise to do so gently.
I hope that you will accept all of my apologies and help me in the process of greeting you into my life.
Love,
Your body and soul-mind host.
P.S. To the breasts and also the hips – this goes for you, too. Let’s be friends, and allow ourselves to heal together. Thank you for being a part of me, and please accept my apologies for ignoring you for so long and for allowing you to be so guarded for so long. There is much pleasure and happiness ahead for us all.
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no subject
Date: 2002-11-08 11:48 am (UTC)Re:
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Date: 2002-11-08 01:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-08 12:40 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-11-08 01:29 pm (UTC)*blushes*
no subject
Date: 2002-11-08 01:03 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-11-08 01:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-08 02:11 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-11-08 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-08 03:21 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-11-08 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
it inspired me to write my own!
much love
<333
Mer
Re:
Date: 2002-11-08 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-08 11:09 pm (UTC)*hugs*
.
Re:
Date: 2002-11-08 11:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-09 06:11 pm (UTC)That book has inspired my life more than any other. I, too, felt encouraged to write about my vagina after I read it. I think all us women understand exactly how you feel, and although we all have different relationships with our vaginas, we can all relate to the grief, the regret, the sometimes secrecy and all the many joys.
Rock on, sister. <3
Re:
Date: 2002-11-09 09:27 pm (UTC)