(( VaginaPagina ))

Having seen statistics reporting as many as 1 in 3 people carrying
STDs, I feel that this post is not in the best interest of our
readership here at VaginaPagina. I was frustrated as I read it, for
one. We here at VP want to work to erase the stigma associated with
STDs, and we are here to be a supportive community. I feel that
this post might hurt the feelings and self-acceptance of many here.

STDs are not a curse, a sign of being unlucky, or a punishment.
They can happen with 1 encounter or not happen with 1000. They are
a part of life.

We also want to advocate safe(r) sex, while still making everyone
aware that a lot of STDs (herpes, HPV, etc, etc) are not stopped
completely by condoms, dental dams, or any other barrier method.
The viruses are so tiny that they can pass through latex and
polyurethane. We advocate these methods combined with testing and
education, as well as acceptance.

Viva la vulva!!!

From:

I agree. Many of our members with STDs come to VaginaPagina for advice and we want to show support as opposed to criticism.

From:

agreed.

From:

thank you.

i nearly cried when i first read this.

i lost my uncle to AIDS five years ago, and i still cannot even begin to articulate my sadness and indignation.

once again, the VagPag administrators have made me happy and proud to be a member here.

you don't know how important this place is to me.

From:

well good. everyone is welcome. and I am sorry for your loss.

we all need to stick together in the different sturggles we face with our lives and body, and I'm just glad VP is one of those avenues of acheiveing this.

xxxooxox

From:

thanks so much.

<3

From:

I am sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my godfather in 1989. it really changed so many of my thoughts, so quickly...

I am very, very happy that you feel safe and happy/proud to be here.

From:

thanks for looking out for all of us. it really means so much to me to have this place.

and on a more personal note, i thank you for your kind words.

From:

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, though I can relate ... I lost a close family friend the same way. And your comments about the VP make us all super happy. :)

From:

awwwwwww...

yes, it seems that no one is immune to aids-related deaths of loved ones and relatives.

too many people have died.

thanks for your kind words.

From:

Thanks for being a part of VP. :)

From:

awwwww, you just made my altogether shitty day really nice.

hee.

and, um, i'm diggin' the hair action, d00d.

From:

Sweet! It's good to know the fauxhawk is appreciated. :P

From:

that's what you call it?

oooooh, neat-0.

it looks like you've got a banana clip permanently attached to your head.

in the good way.

From:

Heh, nah. It's a fauxhawk! My hair is actually down to my butt; I used lots of rubber bands and bobby pins and teasing combs to create le fauxhawk.

... ah, but I remember banana clips! Those were the days of tightrolling and keds! :P

From:

dude, i could tightroll like nobody else.

and i always matched my socks with my shirt.

no matter how many colors were on said shirt.

hee.

your hair is down to your butt?

my my.

From:

ciphergoth.livejournal.com

I think you're seeing things in that post that aren't there. I'm glad I've never been injured in a car accident. I don't think I'm perpetuating any bad or inaccurate feeling about those who have been by saying that.

From:

I well admit that as an admin for this community, I do feel extra protective of readership here. I don't think that STDs and car accidents are parallel examples. For me, it was worth the advocation of members who do have STDs and feel stigmatized (as STDs do carry Large stigmas.) As an admin, I want to be as proactive as possible to make sure that everyone gets as much info/feels as safe as possible.

However, let me say this--I am certainly glad that lovexxx is healthy! Very glad. My worry lies with the aside she made about being relieved, esp. considering who she's slept with (I'm paraphrasing, I hope correctly), which prompted my above comments. I want to add safe(r) sex info for those who are reading, etc.

That being said, we here at VP definitely want everyone to continue to express their opinions, which is why I did not delete the post! I, as a member, just wanted to add my sentiments.

I definitely want this community to unify and not break us into factions. Hopefully this makes sense.

Happy day.

From:

yes, but would you post the fact that you are glad that you have never been injured in a car accident in a survivor of car accidents community? or in a community about car accidents?

food for thought. as I am an admin as well, I feel that the statement in itself is not wrong, and not shameful for thinking, but posting it in a community dedicated to vaginas and womens health is not productive. which is why bizetsy spoke up appropriately.

From:

this isn't a survivor of STD's community

From:

and thats why I said a community about car accidents as well.

From:

The analogy still seems a bit off to me. I think a better fit would be a community about driving in general, which seems to me like a perfectly appropriate place to post that one was glad they had never been injured in a car accident. It seems perfectly acceptable to me for

lovexxxthing to post that she feels lucky to have never contracted an std despite having engaged in risky sexual activities. The only thing I found implied in her post is that she will take better precautions in the future.

From:

well, considering STDs are a very sensitive subject, someone coming on saying "boy am I glad I don't have them!" seems a bit off to me.

what does that say to the women who do have them? how are they supposed to recieve that information? objectively? happy for her? maybe in a perfect world, in a politically correct world that would be the ideal response, but the truth is there are over 800 women on this forum, a large percentage of them having an STD and having had to deal with plenty of complications due to these STDs, seeing that type of post is not productive to anyone.

the key word is productive. it's not educating or productive, though it has brought forth this thread which I am thankful for as we can all learn something from this.

From:

hmmm. I'm not trying to rile anyone up, but I still think that what

lovexxxthing said was acceptable. I think what

ciphergoth is right, you are reading into the post things that are not there.

lovexxxthing didn't say anything negative about those that do have std's and acknowledges that it is only luck that she does not. I don't think that she diminishes or negates any of the issues that women with std's have to deal with. I don't see why anyone should be offended by her statement. I think that "political correctness" would better describe your stance on the subject than mine.

From:

I thought that the point was to talk about "sensitive" subjects to realize that they are really not so scary. Seems like shooshing people for expressing their feelings is what's coutnerproductive.

From:

most of what is on VP is a sensitive subject. I never said that sensitive subjects shouldnt be posted.

what I did say is that sensitive subjects shouldnt be displayed in this way in order to express happiness that one is not like other girls due to having a disease or illness.

and in fact, the girl was not shooshed. she was made aware that statements like that can unknowingly affect people in a negative manner, and in turn the coomunity was educated on many things concerning STDs, condom usage and member support.

From:

I still think that

lovexxxthing's feelings are perfectly acceptable and that she should be able to express them should she desire too. Her feelings are as valid as anyone elses and do not impede on anyone else. Perhaps I misinterpreted the comments by the admin here, but they do seem to tell her that her post in not acceptable.

From:

I think that probably the sentiments behind what

lovexxxthing posted were pure and genuine, but it might have been better had it been posted with a little more context.

I think its great to celebrate (sexual) health; no one was ever being critical of that aspect of

lovexxxthing's post. We also don't want to "shoosh" anyone away (as you put it) for speaking her/his truth, but it's important to be considerate of your readership and therefore how you speak your truth, according to context. Here, we value Safe Space above just about anything else. If I had an STD and I read, "Boy am I glad I don't have an STD, especially after all the people I slept with!" I'd probably feel bad. I would probably know that the poster meant well, but my initial response would probably be something like, "Oh. And I DO have an STD, even though I've had very few sexual partners and thought I was being safe. I just remembered how self-conscious and bad that makes me feel."

Do you see where I'm going with this?

We also don't encourage posts that say simply, "Boy, am I glad I'm not pregnant!" or "Gee, I'm relieved I my period's here," etc. Posts in this community require context! Things like this generally annoy other readers and clog up friends' pages across the land. The posters usually mean well, but could do better to remember to frame and word their posts appropriately so that they will have some relevance to the community and won't violate any aspect of our Safe Space.

From:

a-typical.livejournal.com

Thanks, {{{{

rockstarbob}}}}. That was intellegent, respectful, and....well....right :) I appreciate you saying what you have (you too,

bizetsy and

jaclyn)

From:

Just in case I wasn't clear the first time around:

This community IS a Safe Space (see our FAQ for a definition) and all users should therefore feel comfortable sharing their truths, so OF COURSE

lovexxxthing should feel that it is acceptable to speak her truth (see my above remarks about context, safe space, etc.).

I agree with you that this was a somewhat touchy situation and not clear-cut at all; however, it has at least inspried some discussion and education, which is all sorts of good.

From:

lizzvoltage.livejournal.com

I agree with you on this one. Though one might argue that said revelation isn't really meat enough for a post in a community, that's not what's up for debate here. I don't think she said anything offensive. Aren't we trying to make everybody feel welcome?

From:

geminigirl

I don't meant to be contrary here...

but the issue with transmitting STDs like Herpes and HPV despite condom use isn't because the viruses pass through the latex, but it's because of viral shedding, (when the virus is very close to or on the surface of the skin before an outbreak) and the presence of sores/warts in places that make be contacted during intercourse but aren't covered by barriers.

Polyurethane condoms are recommended only for people with latex sensitivities and allergies primarly because they have a higher failure rate than latex condoms. In other words...they break more easily because they don't stretch as much and are harder to put on.

Animal skin condoms however...viruses and bacteria can pass through the pores present in them. Sperm are too large to pass through those pores though.

I spend part of my day talking to groups of young people who look at me in astonishment when I tell them that there are 14 steps to putting on a condom, that every hour 2 people under the age of 25 become infected with HIV, that there are 650,000 new cases of gonorrhea each year, that there are three million cases of chlamydia diagnosed each year or that it's estimated that between 50 and 75% of all sexually active people will become infected with genital warts (HPV) in their lifetime. You're right-the statistics are staggering. It's in all of our best interest to educate ourselves, so we can share our knowledge with others.

And, as I tell people every day when I work with them..."Know what's normal for your body, so that you know when something isn't."

From: