why hello...

[shyluvs23.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone. My name is Nora and I'm 18, a virgin from Maine. Um this is a really big step for me but I just think this is a good place for honest questions that I may not feel comfortable asking others. Okay so here goes...

I have never had a long term relationship with a guy and I was just wondering what people's stance is on shaving pubic hair. Are guys totally disgusted if you don't shave? Is it assumed that you will? I just want to know if I am totally missing out on something. I'm hoping at some point I will find the right guy for me but I think I just need to know some basics. How do you girls feel about shaving? Or anything else in general. I feel like a big dork for asking...but I feel that I can here. Well, good to be here and thank you for your time.

Comments

[arachne.livejournal.com]

Stop feeling like a big dork right this instant. From my experience, guys aren't totally disgusted if you don't shave. Any guy who acts disgusted isn't worth letting any closer. To shave or not to shave is a totally personal thing - some do it, some don't - it's totally up to you, and you should never have to defend whatever decision you make to anyone. The right guy for you will love you, hairy or smooth.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I can't say what men in their late teens and young twenties like, but over the past 14 years, I've had quite a few male lovers (short and long term) ranging from 25 to 40, and not one of them has cared one way or the other how long or short my hair is. They haven't even cared whether it's trimmed tidily. The closest thing one has expressed to a preference (and this being the boy I've been with for six years) has been, "Please either stay shaved or leave it long, don't let it get whiskery. I get razor burn."

So I leave it long. If I know he'll be away for awhile and I feel like shaving and *want* to shave for kicks, I will, but that would be for my own kicks.

At this point, my experience is such that if anyone required a particular pubic hair style for me to be involved with him (or her, for that matter), I'd tell the person we just aren't compatible.

[lilyofthewest.livejournal.com]

Most guys seem to strongly prefer that women's pubic hair is trimmed and kept neat, but I don't know any who expect shaving. Most men seem to be surprised and delighted if a woman they're involved with shaves.

I personally shave, but the furry parts of my vulva - I gave up shaving my mons pubis after too many experices with razor burn, ingrown hairs and thinking it looks pre-pubescent. I like having my lips shaved, it's pretty easy to do, and my partner seems to appreciate it.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Most men I've been involved with couldn't care less whether I've shaved, so it might depend on a particular social group. I might just have been lucky so far. Or you might just have known a particular subset of men. It might even vary by age or what sort of expectations the men have developed socially.

[lilyofthewest.livejournal.com]

Most of the men I've been involved with have also been very serious cunnilingus aficianados - I think that is where the preference for a well groomed vulva comes in. Even among those though, I've never had one that specifically asked for a shaved vulva - that's always just been a little surprise for them.

[hissyfit.livejournal.com]

i think that it partially depends on the kind of porn (if any) that the guy had while... ahem... coming of age (no pun intended. seriously). especially if he hasn't had much experience with real-life women and/or porn was really important to him.

older guys would have had older porn in their sexually formative years. in the 60's and 70's and some of the 80's, porn was still pretty new and women were more natural. i think those guys and younger guys who have some experience with real women appreciate "natural" women more. the younger guys have porn with women who are clean shaven, bleached blond, and implanted. i think that those guys are more likely to want a woman like the women in their porn.

of course, this is all gross generalization, but it might have a bit of an effect on the situation.

[geminigirl]

Whether or not you choose to shave should be your personal preference. I don't. I don't like the way it looks on me or my partners. It also wasn't worth the discomfort of growing it back.

Your partner is totally entitled to express a preferece for shaved/unshaved/trimmed/untrimmed....but the ultimate choice is up to you, and anyone who pressures you into making a choice that doesn't feel right to you sounds to me like someone to stay away from.

[konoichi.livejournal.com]

The whole shaving thing sort of rankles me because it's yet another way women are made to feel uncomfortable for just being their unaltered selves. If you like it, do it. Don't assume disgust on the part of the opposite sex, because like someone said above, that's pretty unreasonable.

[khrystene.livejournal.com]

I don't and never have, and have never had any complaints.

Guys are as fucked up (well not all of em) as sometimes they are made out to be. And they certainly don't all like shaved or unshaved. Just do what you feel comfortable with.

If you like, try unshaven, and see how it goes. :D

[khrystene.livejournal.com]

ooops, that should read: guys aren't as fucked up :D

To shave or not to shave, that is the ?

[selfexpressions.livejournal.com]

I would say that it's a personal preference, don't do anything to just impress some guy. Keep in mind, that by the time you get to "that point" with a guy....they probably don't care if you shave or not, and hopefully if it's a relationship with good communication you can experiment and share feelings about what eachother's and dislikes are..That's the beauty of a concrete relationship.

If all else fails, try it, if you don't like it then grow it back out and forget shaving...the right guy will want you for you, not for your "hair style"

-Q

[senator-hydie.livejournal.com]

one guy begged me to shave but i wouldn't. trim my bikini lines so i don't have little spider hairs poking out of bathing suit and i hate the way it feels growing back. He didn't stick around and it wasn't worth the time. I keep it trimmed though. But it's all a personal preference. Never do anything like that for a guy. it's your body and no guy should ever have a say in what you do with it.

[danzania.livejournal.com]

this is a good question; i've wondered it myself. i've never shaved, and the guys i've been with haven't seemed to care one way or the other. i discussed it with my current boy and he said he likes it either way, although he seemed to imply that it would be kind of "neat" if i shaved, just cuz it would be different ... but i told him i didn't want to and he said that's fine with him. i would guess that the vast majority will be happy with whatever you feel comfortable with. after all, it's *your* body.

[linzbinz.livejournal.com]

What a lot of guys who DO like shaved vaginas don't realize, is how freakin' uncomfortable it is when it's growing back!. So the one or two times I have been asked about it, I've just said "Hey, I'll do it if you do it", and that usually shuts them up. I don't see why GIRLS are the only ones expected to shave.

[tonapah.livejournal.com]

I originally started shaving because I was curious how it would feel. (This was before I started having sex.) Then I discovered that I liked it, that it enhanced masturbating, so I kept it. For a while. Laziness crept in, so I let it grow back out. I've gone back and forth on this subject ever since. My fiance has seen it in every state along the hair/no hair continuum, and he has never expressed an opinion either way---except for, like in one of the posts above, that I don't keep it stubbly, as that hurts his skin. He also shaves, so he knows how much of a hassle it is, which makes me glad---in that he understands why I don't want to deal with shaving all of the time.

Try it if you're curious, but don't do it out of obligation. And accept the fact that keeping it smooth will be a hassle. I couldn't see going through that much hassle for anyone but myself, really.

[wolfgoat.livejournal.com]

It's up to you whether you shave or not. I find it sort of sad that today's girls are growing up thinking that it's something they HAVE to do, like eating or breathing.

I personally do not shave because I find it extremely uncomfortable, very time consuming, and it makes me feel like a little girl. But it's up to you to decide whether you want to shave or not. I don't think most men/women expect their female partners to shave their pubic hair. If you chose not to shave and someone some day is shocked to see pubic hair down there... perhaps they need to go back to high school and retake sex ed :P Pubes grow down there! Everyone has them!

I don't want to push you in the "don't shave" direction, though. It's completely your choice. You may want to try it once just to see whether you like it or not. If you do want to try it, I would suggest trimming the hair short with scissors first... it makes it a lot easier to shave afterwards.

[thatdirtyblonde.livejournal.com]

first - don't ever think you can't ask something in VagPag. it's a really supportive community and nobody will think anything bad because you asked a question.

in my experience, guys don't care. however, in an effort to be helpful, i usually keep it trimmed or even shave my outer labia just for oral sex's sake. i figure that better access equals better service. mostly i just know how annoying it is to be giving oral sex to someone and have a big old hair in the back of your throat.

ultimately though, it should be your choice. if you don't know if you'll like it, try it. it's just hair, it grows back. do what you're comfy with. :)

welcome to VP.

tDb

My 2 Eurocents

[oberpfallz.livejournal.com]

After reading all the above comments I have to say that I belong in the "Shaved Preferred" category but not necessary. I've noticed no one speaking up for this, what I believe, is a much more prevalent opine, than stated here. The reasons are as follows, grooming, depending on how wild and wooly, seems to improve appearance, and all my girlfriends, (sexual and non-sexual partners) request it from me so what's good for the gander/goose, etc. (And I'm not a hairy beast or anything. Plus, it makes oral sex easier, and it can be fun. Depending on how sensitive your skin is can be a big determining factor on your experience. If you shave every other day you don't even have to use shaving cream..just water and a good lubed razor. And I would think that for women, (Although, I'm not a physiological expert)it would keep things cooler down there allowing a certain amount of air to circulate and keep things a little more moisture free, ala, less persperation. And if you do decide to take the plunge, it's not as uncomfortable for everyone. You may have a day of itchy irritation or not at all. The hair down there grows back really fast. And most importantly, you may even like the way it looks!