Telling him you have herpes...after the fact.

[ticklemepiink.livejournal.com]

So I'm basically writing this because I'd like some other opinions. In my mind, I kind of have an idea what I'm going to do already, but I would like to hear other opinions from both people with herpes and without it.

( Cut for length )

Possible abuse questions

[horseygurl88.livejournal.com]

Hey all,
So, a quick summary: I am dating a guy who has two great girls who are possibly being put in a psychologically abusive situation with their mom. My question is more on their behalf, as I'm sure some of you might have some insight on how to keep them happy and healthy.
Possibly triggering for survivors, so most of the hairy details are under the cut. ( Read more... )

My main question is what can I do to provide support and minimize the mental damage I suspect this is causing? I know this can't be healthy, and with the situation of their mother, I am deeply worried for them, especially N, as she is about to enter that really crushing age that involves puberty and all that becoming a really-truly Grown Up Person for the first time. L is particualry worrisome as well, because she has grown up with her mother being this bizarre shadow in her life, and L has no idea. (Although her obliviousness has made S and I sigh in relief a little- though we know it won't last forever, just like her being 4.)

And another thing- is there anything you wish could have been said for you in a similar situation, if you were in one? I plan to talk to S's ex the next time she comes to pick up the girls about her talking about me. She crosses a line with me regarding that, and I will not stand for bad-mouthing of me to anyone but myself, and especially not to children who know me.

ETA for clarification: I only plan to speak to S's ex about the talking about me. The other things are here mainly for background information. I am not legally really in a position to talk about them to his ex, as I am not a guardian of the girls. I am asking more for support resources and thoughts on the matter.


ETA 2: I can see the logic in not talking to K, the ex, on my own. I think that's a very reasonable precaution that should be taken. S, however, did learn that his family counselling center offers mediation services for things like this. Opinion on that as an alternative at a later date? I think it might be a good option as we would then have a professional there, and a chance at hearing K's side in a fair and neutral environment.
Thanks so much in advance!

Period after birth

[kacieka.livejournal.com]

Hey there. This is the first time I've ever posted here. I didn't think I really would ever post, but something has came up and I feel like I could use some knowledge from all of you wonderful people here at VP.

Now, first of all, I'm one of those people who don't keep up much with how my body acts, specifically my period. I do keep up with the basic stuff, the general date it needs to start, etc etc, but thats about it. I know, I know, I should probably learn more about it.

Anyway, I'll put everything behind a cut, as it might get a little lengthy. :)

( Cut cut cut )

Pain after sex/fear of lubricants.

[nova-lies.livejournal.com]

Lately, sex has been causing me pain and I think it could be that there is not enough lubrication. It doesn't hurt so much during sex, sometimes it stings a little. Afterward it feels as though I've been rubbed raw (at the entrance of my vagina), it burns pretty bad when I pee and touching the area hurts. Sometimes there will be visible cuts (the area that gets worste is like the bottom of the opening - the part closest to my butt). Usually it is pretty much okay again within a day.

This has been happening for several months, I just keep thinking I only need to heal and when it happens again I think maybe I didn't give it enough healing time.

Well from this it seems kind of obvious that we need more lubrication, but the thing is I don't really feel dry when this is happening. I mean, I have tried to have sex when it was too dry and it is obvious when that's the problem. Can I be too dry without realy feeling like it? Also I think our main lubricant may be, um saliva. Maybe this is playing a part in this, idk if spit is a good lubricant? I just can't think of any other reason for this other than dryness.

And now really my second part is that I am terrified of personal lubricants.

First, I am now seriously and dramatically afraid of infections. I never had any kind of infection before recently when I had a YI and a bacterial infection and then within weeks another YI. So now I am afraid to use lube for fear that it will cause an infection. I have used lubricated condoms before with nothing happening but this was before I was so afraid of getting an infection. So what should be used to try to avoid problems down there?

And second, when I think of lube it just seems like it would be a big sticky, gooey mess. I have no experience with it and neither does my husband but it just seems like it would be messy, and this is making me afraid to use it. So... what is it really like? I'm sure it is not the big disasterous mess I am imagining, right?

So basically I am afraid to have sex because it hurts, and though my problem might could be solved with lubricant, I'm afraid to use it. Any help/reassurance/anything else would be very much appreciated.

How to Stop Spotting??

[pia-no.livejournal.com]

I recently switched from Nuvaring to OTC and i am in my second week and have been spotting for several days. I know this is normal due to the change in hormonal levels/kinds etc.

Question: Is there any way to stifle spotting as there are techniques for inducing a period with parsley tea? I am sooo over this constant bleeding!

UTI kidney pain

[xprivate-eyex.livejournal.com]

I went to the doctor on Friday and was given antibiotics for a bladder infection/UTI. The doctor told me I should feel better by Sunday, and I was starting to. But tonight, omfg I have the worst pain in my right kidney. It's this dull ache that feels like an intense, really localized to one area cramp. I have been drinking nothing but water. I took all the antibiotics. I took the pain pill the doctor gave me for the pain when peeing, but it doesn't appear to be helping my kidney pain, and I know it's kicked in because it turns my urine orange every time I take it (and my urine was orange last time I went).

I'm going to call my doctor in the morning but it's 2 AM and I am in pain and don't know what to do.

tomorrow afternoon I have a gynocologist appointment, and while this is not the doctor that is caring for my UTI, will the gyno be able to tell me wtf is with my kidney if I can't get in to see my regular doctor? I'm scared that I didn't have a UTI and have something else and that's why my kidney hurts.

the pain in my abdomen when I urinate is gone, now it's all in my right kidney, but I'm still peeing every 45 minutes at least.

what's going on? :(

ETA: at 2:32 oh god, I got up and started doing some cleaning I need to get done and now I hurt all over my abdomen - front and back, both left and right sides. I kind of feel like I'm going to throw up or pass out. I'm kind of considering going to the emergency room but don't want to go for some stupid reason.

ETA2: okay, 3:24. I laid down for a little while and the pain returned to just my right kidney. sigh.

light tampons

[serenechaosae.livejournal.com]

Can anyone give me recommendations on light tampons? I've been spotting on my new birth control method, ortho evra, but it's only been a week. I really don't like to wear pads, not even panty liners.

Bubble looking ingrown-hairs?

[villagetheatre.livejournal.com]

Yes, another post from me... I shave (I can't deal with the pain [and cost] of waxing!) down there and I have noticed recently three little bubbleish-looking bumps about 4 inches away from my bikini line. Is it acne? Ingrown hairs? HSV-2? Warts? (I think the last two are long-shots because the bumps are nowhere near my genitals and I've had the HPV vaccine.) Thanks!

Girly doctor visit!

[xounlabeledxo.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to share my gyno visit experience, for future reference or whatever you please.

( Under a cut to save your f-list :)  )

All in all, I would describe the experience as mildly uncomfortable, but made easy by my super-confident nature and my AWESOME gyno. :)  

hairline cut on vulva

[so-much-udder.livejournal.com]

So I had this cut on my vulva about a year ago, I thought it had healed, etc., but apparently not. I was a bit itchy, (in the one area where the cut used to be) and I discover that it is still there. It's just on the skin where it sort of turns into 'labia skin' but still to the side a bit. I'm not sure what it is exactly that is causing it. It is itchy *right* there for some reason. But there is nothing else going on. And I was told that it would heal relatively quickly...but it still hasn't gone away. Is there anything I can do to get it to heal for good? Any advice is welcome and appreciated!

Unfortunate Itching

[coggs.livejournal.com]

For the last week or so, my vagina has itched real bad, particular on the labia. I have no had sex for two weeks and that was with someone who has been exclusive with me for a year. Neither of us have STI's.

Additionally I have had a reoccurring problem with something that is similar to, but not actually, bacterial vaginosis (the name has completely escaped me at the moment). For this my doctor has recommended baking soda douches, which have worked wonders.

I would say it was a yeast infection, except there is no discharge and no pain. All I am doing is very unclassily itching myself to death.

An odd question

[odetta-to-detta.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna ask a kinda weird question. I'm not 100% positive it's community appropriate or even something that can be explained, so do feel free to delete if needed, mods :)

So, as some of you may remember from previous posts, I'm asexual. So, I don't desire sex, think about sex, masturbate, etc. However, my bf and I still do have sex since it's something he wants and I'm not so averse to the idea that I mind doing it (it's just not on my list of things to do today).

So here's my question: what does sexual arousal or desire feel like? Mentally and physically? I can guess that mental desire feels something like wanting a certain video game really badly. But what most refer to as "horny" I'm out at sea on and have no idea (I know about the physical occurrences such as getting wet, but that's it). Is it tingly?

This is probably something really hard to explain, but I'm really curious.

Edit: Just have to say, I wasn't expecting to get hungry from this post XD Thank you all very much!

Ring questions

[cendrillonea.livejournal.com]

So, brief backstory: Switched from Depo to Nuvaring last month after 4 months of excessive, non-stop bleeding.

I started the Nuvaring on the day I was due for my third injection, and about two days later I finally stopped bleeding. I didn't experience very many side-effects except for more vaginal discharge really, and didn't remove the ring until a day after I was actually supposed to. I was kinda nervous when after a few days went by and I still hadn't gotten my period. Then when I did, it wasn't very reassuring as it happened the day before I was due to insert the next ring. I don't know if the ring generally has an effect on one's period, but mine lasted the same length as the ones pre-birth control(around 6 days). Anyway, I haven't noticed any side effects this time around, so I was kinda surprised when I felt what might be some sort of discharge yesterday, and then when I checked it it looked more like I might be ovulating. This leaves me a little concerned as depo clearly did not work as expected on me, so it doesn't seem like too far a stretch of the imagination for this not to work right either. How likely is it to continue ovulating while on birth control? Is there some way to find out if you're one of those unlucky few? I suppose it's possible I'm just not inserting it right, although I presume if it's far enough in that it never slips out while going to the bathroom then it's probably alright. Also, I go to my school's health center for this, and I'm not certain I didn't receive the generic form this second time around. Could it be I just can't take generic? 

Edited to no longer reflect one concern. But still unsure about the whole period/ovulation thing.

(no subject)

[cantrainevryday.livejournal.com]

So my period went missig in march-mayish and I had a light one in june then july and august were normal.I figured this was due to stopping birth control a couple months before. My last period ended on aug 9th.on thursday night I had a tinge of red, then friday was enough to use a tampon then it was gone by saturday. I've had unprotected sex a few times since my last period and I guess what I'm asking is what is the likely hood that I'm pregnant? I don't have any other symptoms I'm just worrying about why I haven't had a real period yet. Thanks for reading and all your help.

Sorry if this is a pain to read I'm posting from my blackberry.

Pain in one breast

[ticklemepiink.livejournal.com]

My right breast has been killing me for the past 3 days.... like shooting pains up to the nipple. I'm starting to get concerned. I don't feel any lumps...but is there anything else that could be seriously wrong? My left breast feels fine!

Not a female question...

[smiling-em.livejournal.com]

I know this mainly a community for questions regarding women's health, however I know you are all insanely intelligent (always have an answer for everything) and there are several nurses who are members. My cousin's boyfriend has a few weird spots on his penis and she had asked me if I had any idea what they were. I figured I could feel you guys out and see what they are before she has to work up to courage to actually ask.

They have been fooling around for about...2 months now and these spots haven't changed, moved, or gone away. He is a 23 year old male. He's about 5'8" and thin. He's a smoker and works with cars all day. (All of the odd little facts that I could think of that maybe might matter.) They are probably halfway up the shaft from the base, one dot on each side, parallel to each other. She said they feel like sandpaper.

Any ideas?

Thanks VP'ers! You're the best!

Folks with herpes or genital warts

[fayefil.livejournal.com]

So, here's the deal. I've been itching on my vulva and anal region for 8 straight months. I've seen 9 doctors ...one of which was a vulvar specialist and none of them have been able to figure it out. I've been tested for gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV, HSV2, chlamydia and HPV. I've been looked at with a microscope. Prescribed hormones (made it worse), a plethora of creams (none of which worked), changed all my shit to hypoallergenic, stopped wearing thongs, stopped having sex, quit smoking, quit drinking, exercise regularly ....all to no avail. So my question is, even though I've blood tested negative for HSV2, could I have HSV1 and not know it? Or GW and not know it? I can't see any bumps, lumps, sores, abnormal colors ... no abnormal smell or discharge. Just this baffling, depressing, horrid itch with absolutely no other symptoms. All the docs keep telling me to stop worrying about STDs but I find it highly convenient that this started one month after I slept with someone else after coming out of my 7 year long monogamous relationship in which I never, ever suffered these symptoms. The sex was protected but I'm not convinced. Docs laugh it off when I suggest I may have warts that are impossible to see with the naked eye and two have not taken me up on my suggestion we do a vulvar acetic acid test to see if we can see them that way. I am miserable! :( Its never been internal, always external. The vulvar specialist gave me a strong topical steroid but all it did was irritate it worse. Hellllp!

p.s. 2 of the docs were dermatologists. The rest were GYNS.

Why does my body hate me? EDITED

[belleforbass.livejournal.com]

I posted a week ago. community.livejournal.com/vaginapagina/14121020.html and here it is. I'm late.

And I'm NEVER late. Like ever. Like my body is insanely on time. Like 728am I get up go to the bathroom and "hello period".

And I'm now worried, and wondering if I should take a test or if I should just wait a few more days.

But as the double ended sword goes, I'm stressing, stress makes AF late.
So I'm trying to relax and not stress but I can't and its annoying and stupid, and stab stab stab.

I'm also still having some of the symptoms, boobs are sore but thats common when I go on AF anyway, hungry sooooo so hungry thats not so common for me, soooo tired again I'm stressed so that could be why, I'm gassy haha, continous headaches.

Someone make my body behave now please.

I wanted to also add, on top of the similar symptoms I've had for the last 2 weeks, I have a bit of discharge, its clear, and doesn't smell or anything but its just there.

EDIT: I think I got my period, by think its later then normal, and also about 10 times lighter so I'll keep and eye on it.

Aviane and constipation?

[elvenqueen86.livejournal.com]

I was on Yaz for about a month, but the mood swings were awful, and there was no way I could afford $50 a month. The doctor switched me to alesse but the pharmacy gave me Aviane. I've been having severe constipation (to the point of it showing up on an X-ray while looking for kidney stones and the doctor wanting me to get further tests if it doesn't get better, ugh), and the time line for when that started and when I started the aviane matches up PERFECTLY. I've found a few websites that list constipation or diarrhea as a side effect, but I was wondering if anyone had any *personal* experiences. I'm seeing the kind of doctor at the moment that would tell me it's probably not related, to just keep up with the pills, and then to send me for some nice expensive tests I can't afford x___x Thanks for your help!!

swelling/itching after sex

[neveraboutme.livejournal.com]

helloo, i am on nuvaring and my boyfriend usually pulls out during sex. occasionally he won't pull out (both of our decision), and i consequently experience mild to moderate swelling (sometimes its incredible how swollen my inner labia are...almost frightening), itching, and just plain uncomfortableness. i don't think i am allergic to semen, because it doesn't bother my skin or any other part of my body. i also don't think it is due to any infections because this has happened before, around the time of a doctor appt and i was cleared of anything abnormal. do i just have a very sensitive yaya?
is there anything to prevent the after-affects?
thanks

Female ejaculation

[awesomlytwisted.livejournal.com]

( TMI of the sexy sort )

Posted to sextips  and vaginapagina 

Bacterial Vaginosis

[had-your-chance.livejournal.com]

So, I'm pretty sure I have BV.

No, in fact, I know I have BV... at least, according to this website 

I noticed it the other night when my girlfriend was fingering me. When she brought her hand back up, I got a whiff of what I smelled like and was a bit embarassed at how strong and fishy it was. Since then I've been touching myself and sniffing to see if there's any difference in the smell but it's just as strong. I also have been noticing for awhile that when I masterbate my vulva itches like crazy sometimes. I've always had discharge but I just assumed that was cervial mucus, but maybe it's not.

I do plan on going to a doctor, but I'm too embarassed to ask this question, which is why I'm asking it here: If it turns out that I in fact DO have BV, is it safe for me to receive oral sex? Also, has anyone else had it and could you give any tips on how to make it go away?

HBC+ light bleeding week before expected period

[zigzag1908.livejournal.com]

I've been on ortho-tricyclin lo for about a year now. i noticed very very very light blood after i urinated on the toilet paper... this happened yesterday too. I've never missed a pill and i always take my pills on time every day so i was just wondering if this is normal? I'm expected to start my period in about about 5-6 days. Does this happen to anyone else?

reusable menstrual products for an eco-friendly world

[drownophelia.livejournal.com]

like many people, i'm becoming more and more conscious about the amount of waste i produce and contribute. i tend to alternate between sea sponge tampons, tampax lites and OB regulars--as my flow is both short and light (i know... shoot me know! ;) )

about half of my period is an ultralight flow, or just spotting and i have ruined too many panties to count because i don't feel comfortable using insertables when its so light. can anyone recommend their favorite ultra-thin, snap-closed reusable pad?

i bought a trial pack of lunapads pantyliners a while back, and like them alright, but they're a bit on the thick side.  my girlfriend has a pair of Party in My Pants, which she says she likes, but i'd love to get some more opinions. a favorite etsy seller, maybe? bonus points for cool designs, but thinness of pad and softness of material the most important.

thanks!

(i'm in the states, and would prefer a stateside company or one that ships cheap to here)

scared and alone...is it a cyst, fibroids or endo?

[talulakim.livejournal.com]

i was just wondering if someone else on here had a similar experience than myself, as i am really worried after my yearly visit and pap today.

im a 31 yr old female, never had kids, and not currently in a relationship. my periods are regular (every 28 days) but they seem recently to last longer than before and i have more days of cramping than i used to (3-4 days instead of 1-2 days).

add to that, the fact that the last 4 times i have masturbated (2 months or so), i have felt pain in my lower left pelvic area.

plus, i also have digestive issues, which have gotten worse (i have removed most dairy from my diet) and i seem to feel bloated all the time. i'm at the heighest weight i have ever been in my life.

today at my doc appointment, she felt around my abdomen on the outside and my entire left side from my pelvis to my actual upper stomach area felt sore. just on the left side though. she gave me an Rx for generic Yasmin to start on Sunday, but she sent in orders for both a regular ultrasound and an intravaginal ultrasound to hopefully be scheduled before i get my next period this Friday.

i guess what she wants to rule out is either a cyst or fibroids, but if that isnt it, then she is thinking endometriosis. my mother had both of the former issues, and my aunt had endo. i'm just so worried right now. can endo cause the digestive issues? why, if the pain during a solo orgasm is in the lower pelvic area, is my upper abdomen sore as well?

does anyone have any helpful advice or just some wisdom? im new to all of this and my aunt and i are not close so i cant ask her endo questions. i'm really worried right now and i dont have anyone who understands.

thanks,
~Kim

telling parents

[shear-bliss.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to do this, but I'm at a loss and this community has been a great place for me to come when I needed help.

I found out today that I'm pregnant. I want to have a medical abortion and I've done the research, I know what's involved.

I just have no idea to tell my parents about it. I think they'll support my decision, but I just don't know how to phrase the words.
Any advice?

EDIT:
I told my mother today and she was amazing.
She supported my decision and respected me because I took the initiative to do my own research.

Thanks to all of you for your advice.