Madonna vs the whore "complex" aka telling your s/o your 'number'

[textual-healing.livejournal.com]

i'm currently, as in 30 minutes ago (lol) having a discussion about past relationships, when the boy (of 8 months who i'm very much in love with and hoping to plan a future with....and living in my brother's room while employed by my father....yeah intense).....out of the blue asks me how many people i've had sex with. OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE!!!! we were talking about what quantifies a relationship and i was explaining how i began to define love in more of a physical attraction sense rather than a 'caring about' or a 'friendship' kind of thing, and out of the fucking blue!!! ugh! sometimes men, in my experience, take this whole territory thing way too far (arg my vagina!!! me make fire) . I seriously have no qualms about his past sexual experiences, though they are few (which i think is the root of this insecurity). i like knowing about them, because it gives me more of an idea of what he's experienced, and how that's shaped his behavior.... and all that analytical bullshit i let run through my mind when i'm bored. He is, needless to say, the inexperienced one. I've had about 5 years of freedom discovering my sexuality, and learning how to own and be proud of it, in college, and i'll be damned if a man is (albeit one that i love so dearly) is going to quantify that experience by a (%*#U%OI# number!

everything that is a feminist and proud sexual woman in me is screaming out at this very moment. he was mad that i wouldn't tell him the exact number (frankly i didn't keep a fucking diary...pun intended...and i don't care to) and to think i was doing it out of his own protection from even thinking about "the past" as if it was relevant at all to who i am with him!!! He's expressed how he felt about me mentioning an ex in a way that made me hesitant to even discuss my past in any real detail. I don't believe, in my situation, that my personal sexual conquest number is relevant MUCH LESS important....given the fact that my vag doesn't have rings around it that you can count the fabled NUMBER of sexual experiences!! much less that any one of the past means enough for me to recollect at this time when i love him so much!!!

SO YEAH:
1. what has been your experience when/if you disclose the "number" aka people you've had sexual relations (whatever you qualify that as being oral manual or PIV)? (also what you count as a "number"lol god typing this out is so ridiculous but i'm curious)

2. IF you feel so obliged, what was the reaction?

3. IF you haven't disclosed this personal experience, do you plan to?

4. What is your opinion on disclosing this "number" to a potential life partner....long term relationship/significant other?

5. In the grand scheme of things, is it better not knowing....or knowing?

i had my fun in my time, but i was cautious and got tested, and of course was informed and safe (more so now thanks to you gals!!!).( All/Some) of us have of course had those relationships that failed, and sometimes the ones we'd hoped would turn into more than they did( after we ventured forth into emotional and physical territory previously uncharted) failed miserably and turned into a "hook up" or "one night stand"!! But I don't understand why that should count as something significant when it wasn't, nor do i understand the importance as long as i'm clear with my health status with STI's and HIV (none/ none yearly/ check ups/ monogamous with curren 8monthst). SO basically I'm looking for empathy here and related stories. I'm going to seriously think about this before i continue any discussion, but i really want to know what you girls think!

pimple on nipple?

[moonstrucky.livejournal.com]

Is it possible to have a pimple on your nipple?  Not on the areola, mind you, but on the actual nipple itself.  I noticed some breast pain last night, but couldn't determine where it was coming from, and now it seems I have a little bump that looks like a pimple on my nipple.  And it HURTS.

What could be going on?

[indigodye.livejournal.com]

I had an IUD put in 3 weeks ago.

Last night I started bleeding, a dark blood that is like my period blood. But in the past hour I have gotten REALLY sharp pains in my lower stomach, and it almost feels like my vagina has shooting pains through it. Could this be expulsion? This hurts really bad.

Monthy external yeast infection?

[oopsiedaisies7.livejournal.com]

Hi all! I have an itchy problem....for the past 3 months, on the second day of my period, I've been developing what I'm pretty sure are external yeast infections. I have no discharge or weird smell, but a lot of itching and redness, and some inflammation on the inside of my labia and around my clitoris. They began the first month that I used my DivaCup, so I don't know if it's the cup's fault, but I assume it's just a coincidence. I usually just clean the area and hold a really cold washcloth over it for a minute or so (mostly to soothe the itching) before I go to bed and it's cleared up by the morning.

Well, my period's been gone for a few days and yesterday the same itching started up again. It's gotten a little worse instead of clearing up, and it's making foreplay REALLY uncomfortable, to the point that I cannot get turned on and therefore cannot have sex. (My clitoris hurts and itches and is way oversensitive...and any insertion just aggravates my itchy lips. (We've stopped doing sexual things since I realized that it could be a yeast infection, though.) The itch is not overwhelming or anything, but certainly not not pleasant.

Needless to say, I'm wondering how to get rid of it. All of the YI treatments that I've seen involve inserting stuff into the vagina, but where mine isn't an internal infection, would those treatments still work? Or, should I just get something like tea tree oil or anti-itch cream to stop the itching?

(And, I'm not 100% sure that it's a YI, but I wouldn't be able to get to a doctor until, like, the third week of May because of finals and moving and a bunch of other stuff going on. It's definitely not an STD, though, and I have no other symptoms.)

bladder dropped out of body????

[smokyvelvet.livejournal.com]

hi ladies! I have a question from...my grandmother, from my cousin (if that makes sense) 

my grandmother knows I know quite a bit about the female anatamy, and I'm pretty well learned in female health as well, so she just asked me a question about my cousin. Apparently, my aunt took her to the hospital at about 3:30 this morning, her vaginal area (vulva, ect) and her bladder were in extreme pain. My cousin told my aunt that her bladder has fallen OUT of her body, and she can't push it back up in there. I'm gonna call my cousin and ask a little more specifically what she's talking about, because to be honest, I don't see how in the HELL your BLADDER can fall OUT of your body. My grandmother said that they looked at her, gave her a shot for pain, and told her to rest. Does anyone have any idea what might be going on? any help would be appreciated.   

EDIT: thanks for all the help, it's a prolasped bladder...anyone have any ideas to make her more comfortable until she can get to a gyno?

Menstrual Cycles; 100% WACK

[dalyax.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone :D This is my first post here and it regards Menstruation. I hope this is the correct place.

Okay my problem is that my Menstrual Cycle is REALLY irregular. I get my period about every 3-4 months. Also, my twin sister has it even worse, every 4-6 months. This isn't healthy, it will give me really bad mood swings, and I get easily irritated by the most simplest of things.
Now if you're thinking: "Wow that's awesome! You don't have to deal with it every month." I am NOT sexually active. Also, the environment I live in is very stressful. There is always drama going on.

My mother doesn't understand the importance of a regular menstrual cycle and implies "when you get married it will be regular."

The thing is that I am fully converted to the use of Cloth Menstrual Pads. I love them, they are comfortable. And my cloth pad stash is very pricey. So, I want to use them just about every opportunity I can get it. It's just not healthy being this irregular.

Also, as a note, due to religious practices, I cannot have vaginal examinations. This is to protect that lovely skin layer that many old cultures adore, yes, the HYMEN!

Is there anything I can do? Other procedures?

Thank you so much for reading!


EDIT: I had my very first period at the AGE OF 10!!!

Vaginal Tear

[tehfanglyfish.livejournal.com]

Ok, here's my question.  I've tried to find info about this online, but I keep getting childbirth related websites and that is not at all my issue.  About a week and a half ago I had really bad vaginal dryness (I think it was something hormone related because it was close to my period and my face broke out really bad, etc.).  Anyway, my husband and I had sex without enough lubrication and I developed a tiny tear around the opening of my vagina.  Has anyone ever had this happen before?  Does anyone have a clue how long it takes to heal?  (I know I need to stop having sex for a bit... although any estimates on how long "a bit" is would be greatly appreciated.)  It's not anything huge (like with childbirth).  It's basically the size of a papercut and doesn't hurt or bother me really unless I have sex (which is why I had sex again before it had completely healed - I didn't realize there was anything still wrong with it until I felt it hurting again).  Thanks!  

Urethra Discharge?

[sarasnee.livejournal.com]

Hey All!

I have significant discharge, which is probably pretty normal. I had chlamydia once upon a time and my discharge hasn't been the same since. I've had three tests for the infection since, and all came out negative. However, is it possible I still have chlamydia in my urethra? Sometimes I swear my urethra has discharge and it burns when peeing on rare occasions. I usually just chalk this up to possible UTI and drink more cranberry juice until it goes away.

Is it normal for a urethra do have discharge? I'm still not very sure that the discharge is from there. Should I request a pee test to see if there is any bacteria there? All of my swabs have been vaginal since getting chlamydia and I worry that my urethra might be infected.

Also, is there any way to get my discharge back to the way it was? It seems like it's gotten more smelly with time and it almost seems noticeable.

Thanks for the advice ladies!

Necessity of Pap Smear/Pelvic Exam

[tehfanglyfish.livejournal.com]

 I'm full of questions today!  Here's another one, motivated by someone else's nervousness over her first pelvic exam.  I am 26 years old, have been married for 5 years, but sexually active for 10.  I have only had one sexual partner & my partner has only been with me (yes, I know there's always room for doubt but we have a, um, "unique" situation to where I feel certain that he's only been with me).    I've had five pap smears, all of which have come back normal.  And as I am busy and hate having the pelvic exam, I've simply stopped going.  I am in grad school so I get birth control through the school clinic & so far the nurse practitioners haven't forced me to get an exam to get more pills, although one in particular has implied that if I don't get a pap smear soon, she's going to cut me off.  I don't care, as I can always go to Planned Parenthood for a prescription without an exam.  However, I wonder if I actually need the exam.  The nurse practitioner in question doesn't seem to believe me regarding my sexual history and has been almost rude about the whole thing.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks.

sea sponge tampons?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_snowandlights/]

Hey everyone. I was at Whole Foods this morning and I decided I would finally get some sea sponge tampons. Wrong. I couldn't find them! I could have sworn that I had seen women talking on here about purchasing them there. Am I crazy? Can anyone direct me to where I CAN purchase them? I don't want to order them online...for some reason I have an aversion to ordering stuff on the internet, plus there is no buzzer in my new building and packages often just sit in the foyer til someone steals them. I live in Boston if that helps (if any of you are in Boston and can recommend a place or can tell me that I'm crazy and Whole Foods does have them)

No Summer's Eve? WHAT?!

[individuality86.livejournal.com]

I was talking to my co-worker yesterday about going to the OBGYN & stuff like that, and she told me that her doctor gave her a list of certain things females should do to keep their vaginas healthy. Apparently, you're not supposed to use anything but plain, un-scented soap while washing "down there", and you can't take a bath with anything but plain soap, b/c sitting in water filled with scented soap suds isn't the best thing to do. My doctor already told me that I can't put any type of powder or sprays near my vagina (due to irritation), and the 100% cotton panties issue is a given...but now I can't use Summer's Eve?! That's all I use, but now I've been informed that I can't use it anymore! This is a big issue for me, since I sweat so much & I need to use SOMETHING with a little scent in it, for fear of smelling really bad. I'm hoping I won't be reduced to changing my underwear & washing down there 20 times a day...HELP!!!

Making shaved pubic hair softer?

[ms-octopus-lady.livejournal.com]

So, this morning, to procrastinate doing my physics homework, I decided to take a shower. And to procrastinate even MORE, I decided to shave all my pubic hair off, something that I have not done in a very, very long time.

So I shave all the hair off my, I think it's called mons verenis (you know, like, the front of my crotch?), and then tried shaving the hair off my vulva. I managed to get some of it, and trimmed what I couldn't, but NOW...guh! All the hairs around my clit and labia are all sharp, and they keep...poking me in said areas! It's super uncomfortable and I've been walking funny all day. I tried shaving it all off, but I got too nervous...I was scared I was going to cut my my vulva (Ick!) or my clit (ICK!).

Does anyone have any advice as to how not to make the hair all...pokey, until I can get it to grow back? Like, how to make...basically the stubble on my cooch softer? Because I'm really not comfortable right now...and I have stubble on my cooch that feels like how my boyfriend's face feels after he hasn't shaved in a few days. Sexy.

hbc protection with heavy spotting

[nothingsong.livejournal.com]

Hi all. I just started a new brand of pills - a generic called Lessina - after my last prescription, Tri-Sprintec, gave me terrible moody episodes. I haven't had too many problems with the new brand, except a lot of spotting and what seems to be my period, one week early. Today I took the final hormone pill and tomorrow I start the placebo week. Will I still be protected, even though I seem to have gotten a full period over the past four days already? And should I expect to experience another period during the upcoming week? Thanks for any help.

question

[mediawar.livejournal.com]

I've posted in here a few times, but it seems that things "down there" just aren't getting any better.

I've been on hbc for about 13 months now, and on Yasmin for 6 months. I have 4 pills left in my current pack, but since early yesterday I've had very mild bleeding (like, there's a light pink mark on my underwear, and a bit of mucus-y pink whenever I wipe). I had sex on Wed & Thurs, and hadn't for about 2 weeks prior (LD relationship), and 2 months before that. I thought at first it might just be irritation (it HURT until I relaxed, I was not lubed up enough).

Last month, and the month before, I had a dark almost black discharge for up to a week before my placebo pills. After that, I had a relatively normal period. Lighter than it had been in the past though. I've taken several pregnancy tests, and all have been negative.

Last month, about a week after my period, I also had light bleeding, and what I thought was a UTI, but a bottle of sugar-free cranberry juice later, I felt fine, and a test at the Dr's office also said that there was no signs of anything wrong.

I'm going a bit mad here, wondering why I seem to have dark blood pre-period one month, then soft-pink blood the next. Should I be concerned, or is this general hbc reaction? Or should I try out a different pill?

I have a DR appointment next week. What should I have her check while I'm there, if anything?

Sorry for the rambling. I just hate not knowing what's going on with my body.

Cloth pads/IUD

[1grlrvolution.livejournal.com]

Hello vulva-loving superstars! I'm an IUD diva (Mirena), but my questions are a little more specific to menses. I am not really keen on using tampons anymore (SO DRYING), and I have a super light flow (thank you, uterus monster). I know that cups are considered a no-no with IUDs (because of suction). I was wondering if anyone had any experiences with A: cloth pads and clumpy bleeding (as my IUD causes) or B: IUDs and sea sponge tampons. Thanks, everyone!

Pregnancy Test Question

[notaflorist.livejournal.com]

I'm on a 35 day cycle. My last period started on March 24th, (as far as I can remember- I haven't been keeping track like I should) which means my next period should have started on April 28th. It hasn't. And of course I'm worried because on April 23rd I had unprotected sex. It also happened to be my first time. He used the pull out method and came on my shirt/stomach area. But I'm beginning to worry that he didn't pull away fast enough.

Since the 28th I've been having cramps. Just like the kind I would have during my period, only not as painful. They've just been constant, always there. One day the cramps were also accompanied by a headache. On May 1st I took cheap Target pregnancy test and it came up negative. But I know that it was probably too soon to get an accurate answer.

I've scheduled an appointment at the local Planned Parenthood for Wednesday, to hopefully get a blood test and a concrete answer. But until then my question is this: Since I'm exactly a week late at this point, is now still too soon to pee on a stick and expect a reliable answer?

Has anyone here ever had cramps with no bleeding/skipped period and had it NOT be a pregnancy? I'd really love to hear alternatives to what could be wrong with me. I'll even take a "You're probably dying from cancer" :\

Episodic bleeding, followed by strange discharge.

[ketziah.livejournal.com]

Thursday evening, my boyfriend went down on me, then started to finger me. I was dry down there so he got out some lube, and continued to finger me--then pulled out his finger only to find it covered in blood. I grabbed a towel and wiped off, then went to the bathroom to check the blood out. I am not expecting my period for another week. It was bright red, but appeared to have clots in it so I figured it was just my period starting early, though it doesn't usually do that. We continued, having sex for an hour or so, and there was plenty of blood on the condom. Afterwards I noticed that there was no blood coming from me, and there had been nothing at all since then. Then, about an hour ago, I noticed a dark, dark brown discharge in my underwear, just three or four spots. After that there wasn't any fresh discharge, but a faint brown color when wiping.

Could my period suddenly be going wacky--despite the fact that it is very regular in both frequency and length? Or could my boyfriend have torn/scraped something? I doubt this because he was being fairly gentle, but I don't know. The only other thing I thought was implantation bleeding from pregnancy but the blood I saw was bright and flowing, not dark and spotty.

Help!

HBC & migraines & moods & IUDs

[spiritualorchid.livejournal.com]

I've been getting migraines since I was 13; I'm currently 21. I'll go for long periods without any migraines, then I'll have brief periods when I'll get migraines relatively frequently. 

I've been on NuvaRing since January, and this is my first time using HBC. I've had migraines almost every day since I've been on NuvaRing, which is unusual for me. Planned Parenthood said NuvaRing would be okay since I don't have auras with my migraines, but I find it worrisome that I'm getting so many migraines (that are often quite severe) since I've gone on NuvaRing. I know that having migraines already puts me at an increased risk for stroke, so the migraines I've been getting have me thinking maybe I should stop using NuvaRing.

I've also been extremely emotional since starting NuvaRing. I cry all the time; I have suicidal thoughts. Before NuvaRing, I rarely cried and I've only had one depressive episode in my life (when I was in ninth grade). I thought all the stress I'm dealing with was causing the emotional crap, but I'm thinking NuvaRing is only exacerbating it. Another reason to go off NuvaRing.

I'm going to call Planned Parenthood on Monday to see what they think. I'm scheduled to take my ring out Monday morning anyway, so maybe I just won't put in another one after my ring-free week. I'm not comfortable using condoms and/or withdrawal as my only form of birth control; I can't use spermicide because it irritates the crap out of me, and the sponge is out because I'm allergic to sulfa. And I would definitely forget to take a pill everyday.

So. I'm thinking maybe I should get an IUD. Since the Paragard doesn't have any hormones, it shouldn't interact with my migraines, right? Or would the Mirena be okay, too, since it's progestin only? Does anyone else have experience with birth control and migraines? What works best for you?