problem inserting tampon after hymenotomy

[dkjadshfliuw.livejournal.com]

I am 23 years old and have never had sex or even been able to insert a tampon. I went to 3 different gynecologists (insurance issues) who all diagnosed me with a thick microperforate hymen, so about two weeks ago I had a hymenotomy under general anesthesia. Before surgery, my gyno (who has been pretty awesome) told me that she would be inserting two fingers after stitching me up to make sure that she had sufficiently expanded my hymen. I had my post surgery check up with my doctor two days ago, but had not yet started my period. I looked forward to using tampons and engaging in vaginal sex with my boyfriend. Yesterday, my period started, and i tried to insert a tampon. I am using light Tampax pearl with KY jelly on the tip. I have tried different positions (sitting, squatting, standing with a leg up, and lying down). I just can't seem to get it inside me. One of the Dr.s also diagnosed me with vaginismus from years of having a learned pain response. I assumed that this problem would stop after the surgery since I know that I am large enough.
Has anyone else had this problem?
What do you recommend as treatment?

Comments

[bastets-place.livejournal.com]

I just find tampons to be incredibly uncomfortable, even after over 20 years o PIV sex, having a baby, and being very comfortable with the use of a much larger vibrator.

There's just something about tampons that reminds me of forcible, involuntary sexual activity. It bothers me HORRIBLY. So I just wear pads.

[f13tch3r.livejournal.com]

I use tampons regularly and the only tampon insertion position that works for me is inserting it while I'm sitting on the toilet seat. Otherwise, I can't get it inserted. But that's with no-applicator tampons. I don't use tampons with applicators.

[juliiie87.livejournal.com]

You might already know this, but aim for your lower back, NOT up ? And wait until you have a heavy flow going cause those suckers are drying. If it turns out tampons aren't for your anatomy after all, have you thought about cloth pads ? Or menstrual cups, if it turns out your cervix sits too low to accomodate a tampon (no worries this isn't a problem for sex !). But maybe that's a bit of a stretch... (baaad pun, not even really intended, sorry).

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

Two things seem possible

1) You haven't quite figured out the angle or whatever to get the tampon in. That happens sometimes...it can be tricky. (Also, only two weeks ago? Are you totally healed up?) If you're healed, I would maybe poke around a bit with a finger, and see what you can learn.

2) The vaginismus is causing problems. Your BRAIN knows that you know you are large enough, or at least parts of it do. Your body? Doesn't. That kind of learned response does not, unfortunately, go away because it "should." Your body has to learn that it's big enough, just like it learned that it wasn't. I am by no means an expert on this stuff, but something like dialator therapy might be helpful. What will not be helpful is forging ahead with tampons or PIV if it is painful.

[helenkacan.livejournal.com]

The reason your doc was able to insert two fingers (yay for that) is because you were under general anaesthesia, when ALL the muscles are lax. But, when you are conscious, the muscles are instinctively tighter. And contorting yourself into positions that feel as if they could only be performed by members of Cirque du Soleil (lol) is probably tightening them even more.

Have you given any thought to doing things in the opposite order? Yes, I know it seems to be logical to assume it's easier to go from inserting a tampon to PIV sex buuuuuut ... inserting a tampon is like a job, while sex is something you do for pleasure - there's a reward system.

Perhaps, for the time being, you may want to stop focusing on tampon insertion and move toward sexual penetration. If you have been diagnosed with vaginismus, one of the treatments is to use a graduated set of dilators. So, why would they be any different? Well, inserting a tampon means you're dealing with something that may be small enough in size, but it's also very short and you have to get it PAST the ring of muscles at the entrance for it to be positioned properly. But it's precisely that ring that is not relaxing. You may also feel as if you're putting your fingers in at the same time, just from trying to get it in place, so that can also be overwhelming. [I remember how it felt STUCK and causing me pain when I didn't push far enough past the ring, when I first started using them.]

But, if you're playing with dilators (which are longer, so you don't even have to bend over to reach your vagina), you could spend hours just teasing the entrance, getting your body used to just the tip. And, only when you're used to that, sliding it in ... once again just as much as you feel comfortable doing. And, it's worth mentioning that you do this by starting out being sexually excited because that will help your body and mind anticipate the penetration in a good way. And the emphasis moves from a gritted teeth I-have-to-get-this-stupid-tampon-in to Mmmm-this-feels-good-and-I-don't-have-to-go-further-until-I-feel-I-want-to.

I believe dilator sets can be prescribed, but they're common enough you can buy them over the internet, too. The other benefit of getting them is that your boyfriend could be involved while you're using them, perhaps caressing you or stimulating your breasts (if you like that). You concentrate a bit on you, then on him, so it's not homework you have to do all by yourself. But, if you are by yourself and still want to teach your body new skills, then you make the whole experience a treat. Don't do it when you're rushed, when there's a deadline (okay, I've got 20 minutes until I have to do laundry, walk the dog, get to work, etc.).

I hope you'll have found the above helpful (and encouraging!) and am sending you good luck wishes on your continued journey of self-discovery.

[dkjadshfliuw.livejournal.com]

Thanks, i may have to talk to my boyfriend about trying this first. I just figured it would be easier to try to put something in there on my own before starting to figure it out with him. I am also looking into dilators after the advice of several people.

[evilnel.livejournal.com]

If it's a type with an applicator, that might be part of the problem. Maybe try a shorter/smaller brand like OB regular, which allows you more control because you do it with your fingers? Tampons take a while to get the hang of, don't worry!

[stothyra.livejournal.com]

I had a major problem with inserting tampons for years. I eventually discovered, by using my finger, that my vagina is at a weird angle. I don't aim to the back, I have to aim forward and curve the tampon over something at one point. If I do the aim at the back thing that I get told to use by everyone I run into wall. That's all that is there. I can't use applicators at all. Now I use menstrual cups and cloth pads, so those are a couple of other options for you. I have to use the forward angle for cups, too!

Exploration will help you with knowing what angle to use. Parts of your body might not be where you think they are.

Atalanta0jess and Helenkacan both gave far better advice on the vaginismus than what I might come up with, so I'm sorry I don't really have anything else to add.

[annabelle64.livejournal.com]

hi! i had my hymen broken under a general anaesthetic in january. i didn't have a check up after but i healed well. exploring with a finger (clean and lubed!) first is a good idea, so you can learn the angle of your vagina. i personally don't like tampax pearl, the applicators are weird to me and i just couldn't figure them out. but there are other tampons with plastic applicators like lil-lets compact, tampax compact and moxie compact. and applicatorless ones too. its a good idea to try out a variety to see what works for you. sometimes there are free samples on the websites and usually you only have to register some details, so if that would be ok it's a good way to try them.

when i went exploring, there was a bit of a learning curve because my body had been ignored for so long. i was healed but i had some pain and slight bleeding when exploring simply because my body was protesting this weird unusual thing that was happening. if you have vaginismus issues, dilators would be a good idea. you can buy them online or sometimes get them from a dr. or you can use ordinary household objects like candles or shaped vegetables (washed and covered by a condom and lubed). there was a fab website that had a great dilation guide, but its been shut down. :(

i always have to use lube with tampons or they just don't go in. and now i mostly use a menstrual cup which also has a learning curve but i personally find it easier to use than tampons. also having a no pressure environment and alternatives are good. like i struggled with using tampons at first but i always had the option of sanitary towels, so i didn't feel pressured. helenkacan and atalanta0jess have some great advice above. and a website called http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/nav/fr_index.htm helped me a lot. it has information on anatomy, using tampons and first time sex. but be warned it had some very graphic nsfw pictures of vaginas/vulvas.

Thanks

[dkjadshfliuw.livejournal.com]

Thanks, this was really helpful. I am going to look into those other options.