I did not expect this to be so triggering for me but it was so I apologize in advance if my wording isn't as delicate as it usually is. I will try to make these ME statements. I have not read any of the other comments yet either so this might be redundant.
My ex started with this kind of behavior and eventually it lead to physical domestic abuse. I wouldn't give him the fellatio or anal sex he wanted so he started sleeping with other people who would. He beat me up when I called him on it and told him if it continued our 11 year marriage would be over. He continued, I objected, he beat me up gain, I called the cops and had him arrested.
Months later, while going through individual and group therapy, I was finally able to see ALL of the little things he had been doing to control me. My physical actions, my thoughts, my finances and my life. It is a power and control issue, he was raping me because "it was my job as a wife", he was forcing me to have sex at times and in a way that I had said NO to.
No matter how much you love him get out now before he spends the next decade removing you from your friends and family and brainwashing you to believe no one else will ever love you or that you can not survive without him.
This is domestic abuse, it IS sexual abuse and it is rape if he gets naked and forces you to have sex with him in a style or at a time when you have said no. The existing relationship does not guarantee ANY sexual contact.
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Date: 2012-05-01 05:39 pm (UTC)I have not read any of the other comments yet either so this might be redundant.
My ex started with this kind of behavior and eventually it lead to physical domestic abuse.
I wouldn't give him the fellatio or anal sex he wanted so he started sleeping with other people who would. He beat me up when I called him on it and told him if it continued our 11 year marriage would be over. He continued, I objected, he beat me up gain, I called the cops and had him arrested.
Months later, while going through individual and group therapy, I was finally able to see ALL of the little things he had been doing to control me. My physical actions, my thoughts, my finances and my life.
It is a power and control issue, he was raping me because "it was my job as a wife", he was forcing me to have sex at times and in a way that I had said NO to.
No matter how much you love him get out now before he spends the next decade removing you from your friends and family and brainwashing you to believe no one else will ever love you or that you can not survive without him.
This is domestic abuse, it IS sexual abuse and it is rape if he gets naked and forces you to have sex with him in a style or at a time when you have said no. The existing relationship does not guarantee ANY sexual contact.