I'd suggest trying to lengthen the "oh, hey, this is fun" experience -- like, when you have one good experience, around ovulation, try to make time the next day to either have some sensual funtimes with your partner, or with yourself. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to have PIV and orgasm, but have lots of touching and cuddling/caressing/backrubs (I love backrubs...)/body-rubs... Basically, encourage yourself to feel sensual.
After having a kid and dealing with Constant Interrupts (it sort of gets better after the kid goes to school, but there is still the issue of "fooling around, in the middle of things -- and the phone rings; it's the school nurse, the kid has a stomach bug, and she needs to come home")... Well, let's just say it often takes a long time to get my brain out of Mommy Mode. Backrubs that move into butt-rubs and leg rubs and whatnot? Those can get me from "I'm too tired to even think about sex" to "...okay, I'm thinking! ...or not-thinking, as the case may be!"
In general, when you can, try to make time in your life for sensuality. A hand-held showerhead can be most useful for this sort of thing! There's a chance that if you can give your brain some endorphins to think about, so to speak, your libido may rise to the occasion. It will probably be slow, but it's a start, yes?
In the meantime, coconut oil is supposed to be a very nice lube with mild anti-fungal properties. (I'm assuming you aren't bothering with condoms since you have a copper IUD, so the "oil + condoms = don't do that!" issue shouldn't come up?) There is nothing wrong with making things more pleasant if you're just "going through the motions" for emotional closeness!
You may also want to contemplate giving your partner orgasms, orally or manually, even if you're not physically in the mood. If you can intellectually be pleased by your partner's reactions to what you're doing, then A: that's fun all on its own! B: it helps you and your partner be intimate. And C: you may find that his reactions are such that you become aroused after all! (Even when I am not actually in the mood, I find my spouse to be quite a fun toy! O;D )
I'd work on that sort of approach before adding more variables into the mix, like the Provestra stuff, personally -- taking time and being sensual is free, after all, and Provestra presumably costs money.
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Date: 2012-03-29 11:26 pm (UTC)After having a kid and dealing with Constant Interrupts (it sort of gets better after the kid goes to school, but there is still the issue of "fooling around, in the middle of things -- and the phone rings; it's the school nurse, the kid has a stomach bug, and she needs to come home")... Well, let's just say it often takes a long time to get my brain out of Mommy Mode. Backrubs that move into butt-rubs and leg rubs and whatnot? Those can get me from "I'm too tired to even think about sex" to "...okay, I'm thinking! ...or not-thinking, as the case may be!"
In general, when you can, try to make time in your life for sensuality. A hand-held showerhead can be most useful for this sort of thing! There's a chance that if you can give your brain some endorphins to think about, so to speak, your libido may rise to the occasion. It will probably be slow, but it's a start, yes?
In the meantime, coconut oil is supposed to be a very nice lube with mild anti-fungal properties. (I'm assuming you aren't bothering with condoms since you have a copper IUD, so the "oil + condoms = don't do that!" issue shouldn't come up?) There is nothing wrong with making things more pleasant if you're just "going through the motions" for emotional closeness!
You may also want to contemplate giving your partner orgasms, orally or manually, even if you're not physically in the mood. If you can intellectually be pleased by your partner's reactions to what you're doing, then A: that's fun all on its own! B: it helps you and your partner be intimate. And C: you may find that his reactions are such that you become aroused after all! (Even when I am not actually in the mood, I find my spouse to be quite a fun toy! O;D )
I'd work on that sort of approach before adding more variables into the mix, like the Provestra stuff, personally -- taking time and being sensual is free, after all, and Provestra presumably costs money.
Good luck!