I have to agree with the part about introverts and extroverts. My husband is SO great around people. He LOVES talking to everyone who will listen to him for hours on end. I can do this too, but sometimes I just need some ME time to calm down and stay centered in myself.
OP - I really like physical contact, I always touch, hug, kiss, pet, and cuddle at my husband ALL the time. If it were up to me, I'd be physically attached to him all day. In the beginning I guess I felt like if he didn't want me to hang on him often (okay it really wasn't 24/7 but it was pretty often) I felt like he didn't like me, or want me near him. I felt a bit rejected and it made me sad and crabby. But honestly, after talking to him and learning more about him, his past, and his views, I realized that it wasn't about *me*. It was about issues that he had with himself and his experiences. I tried my best to be understanding and started trying to see the ways HE shows affection to me. It helped me feel a lot more secure in my relationship, knowing that he wanted me around, but that he had different ways of showing it.
I don't know how things will work out between you and your SO, but I congratulate you on your recovery and hope things start picking up for you and your SO. My only advice would be to sit down and try to discuss things in a calm manner, letting him know what you feel you need, and what he feels he needs. Therapy is also an amazing option :) My husband and I are going ourselves.
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Date: 2012-02-04 03:49 am (UTC)I have to agree with the part about introverts and extroverts. My husband is SO great around people. He LOVES talking to everyone who will listen to him for hours on end. I can do this too, but sometimes I just need some ME time to calm down and stay centered in myself.
OP - I really like physical contact, I always touch, hug, kiss, pet, and cuddle at my husband ALL the time. If it were up to me, I'd be physically attached to him all day. In the beginning I guess I felt like if he didn't want me to hang on him often (okay it really wasn't 24/7 but it was pretty often) I felt like he didn't like me, or want me near him. I felt a bit rejected and it made me sad and crabby. But honestly, after talking to him and learning more about him, his past, and his views, I realized that it wasn't about *me*. It was about issues that he had with himself and his experiences. I tried my best to be understanding and started trying to see the ways HE shows affection to me. It helped me feel a lot more secure in my relationship, knowing that he wanted me around, but that he had different ways of showing it.
I don't know how things will work out between you and your SO, but I congratulate you on your recovery and hope things start picking up for you and your SO. My only advice would be to sit down and try to discuss things in a calm manner, letting him know what you feel you need, and what he feels he needs. Therapy is also an amazing option :) My husband and I are going ourselves.