Discomfort when using penetrative toys.

[mindydoesstuff.livejournal.com]

I've been having this issue for a couple years now. No matter how self-lubricated I am, or how much lube I use, I have discomfort during vaginal sex with toys. It feels like a not-quite burning sensation, kind of like when you get a brush burn but it happens slowly (Sorry, it's hard to describe in terms that don't make it sound more horrific than it actually is), or when you have really dry sex, which I guess is also what's happening, because I also stop self-lubricating when I feel the discomfort. My partner only used silicone dicks (from Babeland, so I don't think there's any hidden material that we weren't told about), and we switched from latex to nonlatex condoms to see if that made a difference, but it only helped a little. We're not on speaking terms anymore though, so I can't ask for a link or anything to the product page. I do not think this is a matter of size or tearing, as I've not had this problem with thicker penises. I had been tested for STIs a few times while having this problem, and came up negative.

Any thoughts?

Comments

[archangelbeth]

I'd look at the chance of very mild BV or yeast -- either of those, especially yeast and especially a mostly-external yeast infection -- can present with no symptoms except pain during penetration. If you're comfortable going to a doctor, a swab could find out. Otherwise, I'd suggest going to vaginapagina.com and searching on "yeast infection" and "bacterial vaginosis." Both of those pages should have home remedies.

Probiotics can help with both as well, and vinegar should also be effective. (The page you get if you search vaginapagina.com for "douching" has a link to a study of studies that says that the good bacteria were relatively unaffected by a vinegar (or vinegar and water?) douche, while bacteria responsible for BV, and yeast, tended to be damaged.)

Good luck!

[mindydoesstuff.livejournal.com]

This has been going on for over 2 years now, and I've only recently had my first yeast infection

[archangelbeth]

A really mild infection can linger for a long time. Checking is the first or second step for troubleshooting Painful Penetration. (The other step is More Lube.)

If you don't have an infection, and More Lube doesn't clear it up, then you may need to look into things like lichen sclerosis (hope I spelled that right...), vaginismus, and vulvodynia.

[velkoria.livejournal.com]

agreed... I had one of those for a while and I had NO IDEA until I started having sex again (I'm, celibate when not in a relationship so... there was no way to know!).

[mindydoesstuff.livejournal.com]

Would this occur differently based on the material of the thing I'm being penetrated with? I have never had problems with penises, only with dildos.

[archangelbeth]

It might depend on friction, though if you'd been having issues with dildos at the same time as no-issues with a penis, it might just be a case of [lolcat] Need Moar Loob [/lolcat]... Condom or no, on those penises?

[mindydoesstuff.livejournal.com]

Both using condoms and not using condoms, though I do find nonlatex condoms to be more comfortable, are fine with penises.

[archangelbeth]

Interesting. Lubricated condoms, I assume? And are the condoms lubricated when on the toys?

[misspaigeb.livejournal.com]

I agree with this. Sometimes pain with penetration is my only symptom.

[nightmer.livejournal.com]

Very agreed. A yeast infection can simmer like that with almost no symptoms for months, I don't see why not years.

[helenkacan.livejournal.com]

Would this occur differently based on the material of the thing I'm being penetrated with? I have never had problems with penises, only with dildos.

I'm glad you asked that question, because earlier today I was going to answer along those lines.

I immediately thought of the fact that most dildoes (esp. when you're talking about silicone rather than the less-safe gummy/jelly kind) are quite rigid. Not like a human penis which, despite the turgid fictional description such as "hard enough to pound nails with" really isn't ... unyielding. When you add the fact that a penis is attached to a body, there's a cushion between the pelvises involved. But, with a dildo, there's just the dildo and (I'm presuming) a hand pushing it in. The hand doesn't feel and neither does the dildo.

I'm not sure whether the gummy/jelly ones can be safely used if enclosed in condoms. If so, that may be the only way for you to reproduce the less-ouchy feeling of a human penis.

[mindydoesstuff.livejournal.com]

When you're using it on a harness, you still get that cushion, but I see what you're saying. I have not tried cyberskin or other "realskin" products because they secrete oil and pick up dirt like nobody's business. But it might be worth a shot to pick up one of those sheaths to put over a hard toy and put a condom on it.