Thank you so much for your very thoughtful reply! Your suggestions are very helpful and it's so nice to hear from someone whose worked through this. Especially when I was feeling ready to give up completely, I'm feeling less discouraged now.
I have talked to my boyfriend about it, a lot. He's been very helpful and patient, although he's perfectly content without intercourse (which is nice) and, to a certain extent, doesn't really understand why I've become so focused on intercourse even though it's painful. We were sexually active for years without having intercourse so he feels like our sex life is the same as it always was, but I keep thinking about how my body is not cooperative and I get frustrated. So there's a bit of a disconnect there. But we are regularly talking about it which is a start. I think I will show him your post/talk about your suggestions, which should be helpful and get the conversation towards what we can do instead of what we can't do (which is what I usually talk about, I think).
I'm really glad you came to the conclusion that repeating intercourse again and again wasn't the solution. That's been my feeling all along, but then I wondered if I just hadn't given it a fair try.
It seem like you and your girlfriend have really taken your time to work through all this. I didn't realize it until I read your comment, but I'm feeling really rushed about it, like "we need to be able to have intercourse right now immediately!", which is ridiculous. So I think I really need to give myself permission to take it slower.
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Date: 2011-02-20 08:48 am (UTC)I have talked to my boyfriend about it, a lot. He's been very helpful and patient, although he's perfectly content without intercourse (which is nice) and, to a certain extent, doesn't really understand why I've become so focused on intercourse even though it's painful. We were sexually active for years without having intercourse so he feels like our sex life is the same as it always was, but I keep thinking about how my body is not cooperative and I get frustrated. So there's a bit of a disconnect there. But we are regularly talking about it which is a start. I think I will show him your post/talk about your suggestions, which should be helpful and get the conversation towards what we can do instead of what we can't do (which is what I usually talk about, I think).
I'm really glad you came to the conclusion that repeating intercourse again and again wasn't the solution. That's been my feeling all along, but then I wondered if I just hadn't given it a fair try.
It seem like you and your girlfriend have really taken your time to work through all this. I didn't realize it until I read your comment, but I'm feeling really rushed about it, like "we need to be able to have intercourse right now immediately!", which is ridiculous. So I think I really need to give myself permission to take it slower.
Thanks so much!