You could not consent, and he knew it, and he took advantage of that. This is NOT your fault.
- He took you to his place when he was supposed to take you elsewhere.
- You were obviously drunk.
- You could not get home yourself safely.
- He treated you terribly! "I'm kind of bored" is a horrible thing to say to someone who is crying and sick! This is NOT a nice person.
- He made you feel that you could not leave until you slept with him. You felt that way for a reason, and he set it up that way. He ignored your repeated requests to go home, your tears, and your feelings. He ignored *you*.
I understand that you don't want anyone to know and you should do whatever you need to do in terms of reporting him, not reporting him, or whatever. But in terms of what this guy deserves? Oh, he deserves to be very, very ashamed of himself. He deserves to have women turn the other way when he approaches them for dates. He deserves to get in trouble. He did something very, very wrong. Note that I am really not suggesting that you should report him just because he deserves to get in trouble - that is really completely up to you, and going through the reporting process is something not everyone wants and I totally understand that. I'm only saying that blame should be placed with him, and only him, and he is the bad guy here.
You, however, did not do anything wrong. All you did was trust someone to get you someplace safely. He did not get you there safely. You also trusted him to listen to your words, and he didn't, to be a decent human being and take a hint from your emotional state - and he didn't. You then did what you felt you needed to do - and probably, what you actually needed to do - to get out of there. You slept with him so he'd get you home. He coerced you, forced you into it by removing your exits, by ignoring your inability to get out yourself. You did nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong. You really, really didn't do anything wrong.
I am so sorry this happened, and that someone treated you so badly. This is not your fault.
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Date: 2010-05-29 06:02 pm (UTC)- He took you to his place when he was supposed to take you elsewhere.
- You were obviously drunk.
- You could not get home yourself safely.
- He treated you terribly! "I'm kind of bored" is a horrible thing to say to someone who is crying and sick! This is NOT a nice person.
- He made you feel that you could not leave until you slept with him. You felt that way for a reason, and he set it up that way. He ignored your repeated requests to go home, your tears, and your feelings. He ignored *you*.
I understand that you don't want anyone to know and you should do whatever you need to do in terms of reporting him, not reporting him, or whatever. But in terms of what this guy deserves? Oh, he deserves to be very, very ashamed of himself. He deserves to have women turn the other way when he approaches them for dates. He deserves to get in trouble. He did something very, very wrong. Note that I am really not suggesting that you should report him just because he deserves to get in trouble - that is really completely up to you, and going through the reporting process is something not everyone wants and I totally understand that. I'm only saying that blame should be placed with him, and only him, and he is the bad guy here.
You, however, did not do anything wrong. All you did was trust someone to get you someplace safely. He did not get you there safely. You also trusted him to listen to your words, and he didn't, to be a decent human being and take a hint from your emotional state - and he didn't. You then did what you felt you needed to do - and probably, what you actually needed to do - to get out of there. You slept with him so he'd get you home. He coerced you, forced you into it by removing your exits, by ignoring your inability to get out yourself. You did nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong. You really, really didn't do anything wrong.
I am so sorry this happened, and that someone treated you so badly. This is not your fault.