It's really tough when you and your partner have different sex drives. I imagine it's even rougher when your partner is unwilling to help you feel satisfied, and I am sorry you're having to go through that.
I don't know that he can be desensitized, and really..I don't think that's the best option. You want something enjoyable for both of you and desensitizing will lower how much pleasure he receives. My husband and I have used those long lasting Trojan condoms, and they made him numb AND me numb. As far as helping him last a bit longer, I read somewhere that a good way to do that is with handjobs. Give him a handjob and right before he's going to climax, stop. Wait a few minutes, and start up. Bring him to climax again, and stop. Do that a bit before you let him climax and then repeat this over a period of time and it's supposed to help him last longer. However, this is just something I read - never tried it, don't know anything more about it than the instructions.
Also, I was wondering if perhaps you could try pleasuring yourself in front of him before you have PIV sex? Not as a show for him really, but to get yourself off - if he gets pleasure from it, then that's awesome..if not, that's okay too.
I hope you find something that works for you<3 I know one thing that really helps when it comes to issues about sex is honest, frank discussions. Also, try looking up fun sex positions together and maybe looking at toys. I know you said he doesn't like to use them on you but perhaps he'd enjoy helping you pick out some things you could use yourself. It's worth a shot if that is something you guys are comfortable with. :)
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Date: 2010-01-12 09:04 pm (UTC)I don't know that he can be desensitized, and really..I don't think that's the best option. You want something enjoyable for both of you and desensitizing will lower how much pleasure he receives. My husband and I have used those long lasting Trojan condoms, and they made him numb AND me numb. As far as helping him last a bit longer, I read somewhere that a good way to do that is with handjobs. Give him a handjob and right before he's going to climax, stop. Wait a few minutes, and start up. Bring him to climax again, and stop. Do that a bit before you let him climax and then repeat this over a period of time and it's supposed to help him last longer. However, this is just something I read - never tried it, don't know anything more about it than the instructions.
Also, I was wondering if perhaps you could try pleasuring yourself in front of him before you have PIV sex? Not as a show for him really, but to get yourself off - if he gets pleasure from it, then that's awesome..if not, that's okay too.
I hope you find something that works for you<3 I know one thing that really helps when it comes to issues about sex is honest, frank discussions. Also, try looking up fun sex positions together and maybe looking at toys. I know you said he doesn't like to use them on you but perhaps he'd enjoy helping you pick out some things you could use yourself. It's worth a shot if that is something you guys are comfortable with. :)