Pregnancy Test Vent/Rant.

[melodic-lyrics.livejournal.com]

Hello my vagina-lovers,

Tonight I went to the grocery store to pick up some milk - I love me some milk. Anyway, I got in the express checkout lane cause there was only one girl in front of me, and I only had 2 gallons of milk. Anyway, as is the norm, the checker was trying to make small talk with the girl in front of me. To my horror, as she is scanning things, she pulls a pregnancy test out of the girl's basket as says, "Uh Oh."

I cannot imagine how this girl felt - I was completely horrified that the lady would say something like that. Regardless of whether she's trying to conceive or isn't, "uh oh" felt really inappropriate to me.

I'm thinking about contacting the manager of the store about it to be honest. Cause "uh oh" wasn't the last of the conversation. It continued on as the woman said, "better you than me. I've got 3 kids already, I don't want anymore." I mean, the girl had a bunch of other things in her basket, like blue berries, and raspberries. They could have talked about anything other than the pregnancy test, but that's what the checker fixated on.

In my head, I know the cashier meant well, and was really trying to make conversation. Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion, but golly. It just seemed such a wrong thing to say.

Thoughts?

Comments

[theatreant.livejournal.com]

I'm a little awkward in social situations, and it definitely took me until I was ohhhh..... 19? before I could even buy pads and tampons without blushing and feeling weird at a checkout. Hell, I still blush a little at 23. I make my boyfriend buy the condoms. If I had a yeast infection I'm 100% sure I could never bring myself to buy anything at the store JUST for the very reason you said in your post. I think if I had to buy a pregnancy test and somebody said "uh oh" I'd probably have to walk away. LOL. When I worked retail the golden rule was don't make small talk about purchases unless it's something harmless like a watermelon or a bag of grapes :P

[melodic-lyrics.livejournal.com]

Yes! I could NOT believe the woman would say that, and make the WHOLE conversation about that. It was so painfully awkward, and it wasn't even about me, I wanted to find the girl in the parking lot and apologize for the woman's behavior!

[mandy.livejournal.com]

Talk about insensitive :/

[melodic-lyrics.livejournal.com]

Totally.

[mydocuments.livejournal.com]

When I had to buy a pregnancy test last, the cashier, an older lady, mid to late 60s, announced to the entire freaking Walmart, it felt like, "OH DO YOU NEED A PREGNANCY TEST I CAN GET YOU ONE OF THOSE!" and then proceeded to congratulate me as I left. It's like, "this is not necessarily something to congratulate me, but I cannot yell at you because you were totally sweet otherwise."

[melodic-lyrics.livejournal.com]

Oi. Like I said, I get that they mean well, and that it's not malicious, but a little tact never killed anybody.

[vdoeschallenge.livejournal.com]

ugh I'm glad I made my boyfriend buy the test whenever I needed it. :\ He made me sit in the car though.

[melodic-lyrics.livejournal.com]

I've had to buy a few and I don't think I've ever had anyone ever say something like that to me. It's great that you have such a supportive boyfriend to do that for you. :)

[extraneousrooot.livejournal.com]

Wow. I would have been pretty pissed - not because I personally am easily offended but that is pretty fucking horrible and she should not be saying that to people especially since if it IS an uh-oh, she probably felt shitty enough about it and if it wasn't an uh-oh, who the hell wants to hear that?

There's a girl/woman (I am awful at telling age - she could be 16 or she could be 30) at the walmart near me and last time I bought a test she wished me luck on the outcome of my choice, but I was totally cool with it since we see each other all the time. But if I were the woman in front of you on line I'd have raised some holy hell to the manager. Tact, people!

[melodic-lyrics.livejournal.com]

I'd rather people just not say anything about it at all. It's a pregnancy test, not a land mine, you know?

[skyladagaz.livejournal.com]

i'd be totally embarrassed, especially if i didn't want to even be pregnant.

[melodic-lyrics.livejournal.com]

And I'd be totally enraged if I did want to be pregnant. I mean, "uh oh"? Really? That's just not a good response, no matter what.

[applefaerie.livejournal.com]

Oh lordy. Did the cashier seem like she'd been on the job a while, like, say, didn't have to look up codes for produce, or was fast at scanning things and bagging them? If she was slow, had to look up codes, it could be that she was new, and was really uncomfortable ringing out the pregnancy test. I know that when I was a cashier, I was pretty gunshy when it came to ringing out condoms and female products because I know how it is to be on the other side of the counter BUYING those things. Granted, I never decided to blather on with the customer about said purchase which made at least one of us uncomfortable, but social awkwardness presents differently in some than others ;) My first day at the porn shop was the worst, a guy would bring up his porn and I'd retreive the disks to put in their cases, and be looking at the titles and pics on the cases thinking "So THAT'S what he's into... /blush", but by the second day it was just grab the disk, slap it in, ring it up, put it in the bag and tell the dude to enjoy.

I do think it was pretty insensitive of the cashier, and I probably would have said something quietly to the cashier herself after the customer in front of me with the test was out of earshot, just because I think I'd probably point it out in a kinder, less "oh my GOD you BAD BAD CASHIER" sort of way than your typical manager might. Or I would have interrupted the cashier and asked something random like do they have a savings card program or whether it'd be okay if you ran and grabbed X item really quickly, something to disarm the situation and take the focus off of the customer buying the pregnancy test.

That said, if your gut feeling is to call the manager and ask for them to make sure their cashiers are more sensitive to personal purchases like that, do so. It wasn't appropriate for that cashier to be so familiar with the customer, when it seems pretty clear that they didn't know each other from outside the store.

[melodic-lyrics.livejournal.com]

I'm really not sure, she was on the express lane, and I've seen her at the store before (but that doesn't mean much, I've only been living in this city for about a month). It was definitely not appropriate cause there was me and a dude behind me right in line behind this poor girl.

If it ever happens in the future I think I'll be better armed to diffuse the situation, but I was just so shocked today I didn't know what to say. =/

[paraxeni.livejournal.com]

It used to break my heart taking calls from kids, desperate to get their hands on an HPT, but terrified of being judged. I always tried to tell them "Don't worry, their job is to sell you stuff, not judge your purchases" when I knew in the back of my mind that it happens all the time. It's awful.

I did have a funny checkout experience. We had a friend celebrating her 18th, and she was from somewhere near the countryside, in a place whose inhabitants we fondly referred to as "woollybacks" due to their proximity to sheep, and all the silly 18 year old jokes that entails. (Bloody joke's on me now, as I live in the actual countryside, with sheep all over my village. I'm now a woollyback!) Anyway, we went to the supermarket and bought her a stuffed toy sheep, a massive tub of vaseline, a litre of vodka, a bottle of baby oil, a cucumber, and a jumbo box of condoms. There was no self-checkout in those days, and to my horror the only cashier available was one of my mother's best friends. Oh my. 13 years later and I'm not sure who blushed more, me, the cashier, or our sheep-loving friend!

[so-much-udder.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAH that story is golden!!

[belleforbass.livejournal.com]

I work at a supermarket, do my shopping there too. I have been buying some as we are TTC and trying to keep it quite, but the looks I get from my friends at work are funny, I just smile and pretend otherwise.
But thats different its you know friends of mine.

The people I serve who buy them I don't 'ignore' it but I don't pay attention to it.

Its horrible what she did and if I was in your position I would call up.

*nods*

[make-me-stay.livejournal.com]

That's so completely inappropriate, regardless of how well meaning the cashier was. I've worked various retail and hospitality jobs, and while mindless friendly chat is part and parcel of the job, there are limits!

I, personally, would contact the manager, because it's not part of the job of the checker to make value judgments on personal items; especially something as personal as a pregnancy test. You can just explain what you heard, and maybe ask him to go over what appropriate conversation between checkers and customers is.

[elialshadowpine.livejournal.com]

If I were the girl, I'd have demanded to see the manager. Pregnancy tests are something that should be handled discreetly, not something to make small talk about, because people are so self-conscious about them.

As for "better you than me"... ok, maybe I'm reading too much into it, but that implies the girl would want the pregnancy. She could have a medical condition that would kill her if she tried carrying to term, for all the clerk knew! Never mind that there are plenty of people that just don't want kids and that's a perfectly valid choice.

Yeah. I'd contact the manager, because that's woefully unprofessional behavior in my book.

[lil-goldielocks.livejournal.com]

Yeah that's completely inappropriate, and you can get her into a lot of trouble with her store's supervisor. She gets paid to cash people out, not to make small talk and say something offensive.

The whole "better you than me. I've got 3 kids already, I don't want anymore." line can absolutely get her ass in trouble. She's sharing personal information with a client of the store for one, and no one wants to hear that. Their there to get what they need and get out.

If you were offended report her.

[kismety.livejournal.com]

a) if I was that woman's supervisor she would be OH so fired.
b) this is part of the reason why I always buy pregnancy test through the u-scan (also I have only bought them in my tiny everyone-knows-everyone hometown, and that is always sticky)
c) I would have flipped a shit on her if I was that girl. that is so rude and inappropriate.

[moonlight-in-vt.livejournal.com]

That is so inappropriate... que horror!!!!!!! In your situation, I would have just talked to the clerk herself and say, "You know, it's really not appropriate to make small talk about products like that," rather than going behind her back and talking to the manager. Or at least, that's what I'd do ideally, but I'm shy and slow about making a response to a situation that makes me uncomfortable.

I don't think you're blowing it out of proportion.

[mercy-rain.livejournal.com]

What the fuck.

Okay, first, you're there to buy your things, not to engage in conversation about how they fit into your life with the cashier, whether it's a head of lettuce or a box of condoms. Business interaction, not social.

Second, condoms, pregnancy tests, tampons, &c., are all products that fall under the category "None Of Your Damn Business." They're personal items, and just because you have to buy them from someone, that doesn't make it their business to discuss them with you.

Third, seriously? "Cashier making a big fuss over something you're shy about purchasing" sounds like a recurring nightmare, right up there with "it's final exam day and you forgot you even had this class," and "in public with only underwear on."

I would probably speak to the manager, if only in honor of the memory of the terrified pg-test-buying teenager I once was myself :)

[archangelbeth]

I'd talk to the manager, yeah. Low-key, and being Really Concerned.

Or you could spot when that person was around and try buying a p-test yourself so that you could inform her that commenting on such things is impolite and potentially shaming and she should keep her daft mouth shut. >_>

[arularia.livejournal.com]

First off, to the best of my knowledge, a lot of retailers have policies that expressly FORBID making comments like that or pertaining to anything else that a customer is buying that might be a sensitive subject (condoms, YI medicaions, etc.) And even if this place didn't, it's still completely out of line. Oiy...

I would totally contact the manager.

[darkserena.livejournal.com]

I know the supermarket I work for doesn't have any policy that I've ever read (been there for like 3 years?) that says you can't talk about that stuff. But one would think it's common sense!

I would contact a manager, too. But I'm the sort of person who just yesterday complained that my cashier at Walmart wasn't friendly (not to anyone really, just my BF, but another employee overheard and asked who it was that we were talking about). :P

[literarygirl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, she crossed a line. If the woman wants to concieve, then "uh-oh" is obviously not right for the moment. And if she doesn't, it's only going to add to her anxiety.

When I was a cashier, I would never comment on stuff like that. Ever. But you'd be surprised how many customers asked ME about things like feminine protection, condoms, and diapers.

I'd call them on it, though. It was very satisfying to watch THEM blush when they'd ask me about the condoms and diapers and such. Assuming I was sexually active and had kids when I was still a virgin and obviously not a mom.

And, depending on my mood that given day, I'd pack their stuff a little bit heavier than normal. Serves them right for asking a total stranger inappropriate questions.

Yeah, I'd speak to the manager.

[literarygirl.livejournal.com]

Gah...that should be conceive. Too early! :-)

[hikerpoet.livejournal.com]

As a retail manager, I'd want to know.

Why do people think all this stuff is their business? I'm 36 weeks pregnant, and I was surprised how many total strangers ask if it is planned, etc. (it is). WTF?

[so-much-udder.livejournal.com]

Whoa, that's so rude! Yeesh, seriously. If it wasn't planned, where can that conversation possibly go? And if it was, how is it any of their business? That is so bizarre.

[vgn-hthr.livejournal.com]

This is why all stores need at least a few self checkout lanes.

[coccolare.livejournal.com]

That is horrible. I bought one once (luckily was not pregnant) and attempted to do self checkout. An employee immediately came over to help me. I have to give her credit, though--it was the only thing I was buying, and she didn't say anything at all. And she shouldn't have---absolutely not someone's business what you're purchasing. It was traumatic enough getting myself to the store and selecting one.

[faedria.livejournal.com]

Meh. My boyfriend accompanied me to the store for my first test. We hadn't been active for very long and I was paranoid and wanted one for peace of mind. Well, we got to the checkout and the cashier who had been chatting away to a couple of coworkers immediately blurted out, "Oh! You think you might be pregnant?", eyes wide, and asked my age. I stammered in surprise that I was 19, and she proceeded to express her relief, tell me I looked much younger, and ask whether we'd be happy about it. Mortified and painfully aware that the other two employees, both older women, were staring at me, I just stood there while my boyfriend curtly replied we'd go with however it turned out. This girl couldn't have been much older than I was. I guess she thought her concern would be welcomed? I don't understand why people think such things are open for discussion.

[helenkacan.livejournal.com]

You mentioned something in your reply to a comment, so I thought I'd go with that.

I think you should have a talk with the manager on the other customer's behalf, first because it was inappropriate to talk about the purchases but also because the cashier was staffing the express checkout desk. Last time I checked, the express checkout was for processing customers as quickly as possible; and she was at it because her boss or supervisor specifically put her there. So, by slowing down the process by talking about things that had no bearing on her job, she was actually NOT doing her job. And, just as an aside, one doesn't have to sacrifice friendly behaviour for the sake of efficiency. The two can co-exist.

[calyxia.livejournal.com]

When I was a cashier, if something like happened, I would sometimes say, (if we'd had a bit of small talk before) something to like "Good luck, either way you want it" and that would be that. Otherwise, that was just plain rude and uncalled of for the cashier.

[stormer1-1.livejournal.com]

I can't lie, I laughed out loud. That's so horrible. Having worked in a drugstore chain for a good long while, you get very used to not saying anything, no matter what...yeesh.