About Fantasies

[mist-twilight.livejournal.com]

I don't know for sure if this is appropriate for this community, if not: feel free to delete this post!
I'm just really curious and interested in your opinions..



 .I wonder what people think about when they fantasize about sex.. My boyfriend and I had a really long talk last night about sex and fantasies, and I came to the rather startling conclusion that I don't fantasize.. Or very rarely.  I'm a very ... 'conservative' girl when it comes to sex, in the sense that I think having sex is a very beautiful way to be intimate with the one you love and to show them how much you love them.. I love the physical side of sex, too, because when I have sex with my boyfriend, I feel gorgeous, I feel all woman and I'm very conscious about the beauty of being a woman and the way our bodies.. fit so wonderfully together.  

But I never fantasize about it when we're not having sex. I can want sex really badly when I haven't seen him in a while, but I never take the thought any further.. my mind just goes "Hmm.. boyfriend.. sex.. yesss please.." and that's it. I never masturbate (not for lack of trying) because it doesn't do anything for me when he isn't around. I'd like to try and set up some scenarios in my head, but I don't know where to start.. I hope I'm at least making some sense to some of you ;-)

So help a girl out and share some of your (wildest :-)  fantasies, tips, ...

Thanks in advance !

Comments

[paperispatient.livejournal.com]

I've never fantasized during sex but I most definitely fantasize when I masturbate or am bored or am horny but in public - I always have, for as long as I can remember since I got interested in guys and sex. For me, the hottest thing to think about is past experiences that were really amazing. And I also just let my mind wander - I think about different actors I think are hot, I may put myself in a sex scene I've seen them in (or put myself and my partner in the scene, when I have a crush or a boyfriend), and then just kind of let my mind go from there - what we're doing, how it feels, what sounds we're making, etc.

Have you ever read erotica? Anais Nin has written some pretty sex stuff, and if you're wanting to start fantasizing (and if not, I don't see anything wrong with that at all, different things work for different people) reading some really good erotica could help get your imagination going and maybe get you more accustomed to thinking about sex detail-wise instead of just "Ooh, I really want to have sex," and stopping there. :)

Hope some of this helped shed some light!

[mist-twilight.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your comment, it's definately got me thinking! Thanks :-)

[starfish327.livejournal.com]

you can try sites like literotica (that's the one that comes to mind). i once had to read it as 'homework' for essentially the same reason- my partner wanted me to read things and tell him. the nice thing about looking on mass sites like that is you can skip stuff you really don't like without having already paid for it and they have a crapload of different 'types'.

some of my hottest fantasies though are ones that stem from memories of stuff that we've already done. it's made for some interesting thoughts in the middle of a sociology of law seminar, lol.

[mist-twilight.livejournal.com]

LOL! Great, I'll look the site up, hopefully I'll find stuff to read to my boyfriend :-)

[tacky-tramp.livejournal.com]

The quality on Literotica is really, really uneven. My favorite source of porn? Fanfiction! Some of the bigger fandoms have LJ communities with limited membership, and only established, excellent writers are admitted. The stories there might not push my buttons, but at least I know the grammar won't make my eyes bleed.

[jenn-possible.livejournal.com]

I third the erotica recommendation. Are there any books/movies/tv shows that you're super in to? There is probably fanfiction associated with it, and where there's fanfiction, there's porny fanfiction :)

[archangelbeth]

where there's fanfiction, there's porny fanfiction

If you can think of anything, then somewhere on the net, within 5 seconds of you thinking about it, there will be porn of it. Antibodies + Virus pairing smut? I bet it's out there somewhere.

And if there's not, I might feel compelled to write some. >_>

[chasethefeeling.livejournal.com]

rule 34 (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rule%2034)! ;P

[mist-twilight.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, I'm really loving the (slash) fanfiction right now.. I was really in to it a couple of years ago, but lost interest due to all the crappy fics that float around the internet..
But now I'm motivated to give it another shot!

[archangelbeth]

I have all kinds of stuff, from rooooomance kinds of things, to really kinky stuff. (If you want to look at the kinky stuff, um, well, drop me a post and I can link you to various fic I've written. >_> Some of it, I note, just to see if I could write it and make it come out not-stupid.)

There is, I note, nothing wrong with a fantasy that's romance, or plays with psychological power games, any more than there's anything wrong with a fantasy that's got anatomically impossible positions or toys, or physical power games. (Bonus points for all of the above. O;> )

Most of my fantasies, I also note, are "not-me." They are... roles, really. Getting into the head of someone entirely different, doing entirely different stuff, etc. I don't tend to take an actual character, most of the time, that someone else came up with -- Original Characters only. But I might take a "type" and riff off of it.

However, I rarely, if ever, fantasize during sex. It's too distracting. I think I've had some occasional images in my head, but otherwise, I'm generally right there. I might fantasize at the beginning of communing with my handheld showerhead, but then I focus in the moment, not in the fantasy. I like structured fantasies, and that takes too much concentration to enjoy actual sensation.

[mist-twilight.livejournal.com]

I don't think I could ever fantasize about myself as someone else, I'd rather be myself and my boyfriend would remain my boyfriend in any given situation, but you've given me some inspiration ;-) Thanks!

[tacky-tramp.livejournal.com]

You could transplant you and your boyfriend into other situations in your fantasies. I'm rather kinky, so I like imagining that my boyfriend is a noble lord and I'm the innocent servant girl he seduces. Seriously, it's so cheesy. XD

[mist-twilight.livejournal.com]

Oh God, yes! Perfect! That's very appealing to me, I'm gonna give that a go :)

[donkey-booty.livejournal.com]

haha when I'm having sex & start to get bored/lose interest .. I just picture my highschool volleyball coach .. mmhm .. and if that doesn't work, i picture myself growing a diq and fucking him in the ass ... lmao idk

[http://users.livejournal.com/_knivesxout/]

i think this is a great post and completely relevant to what we discuss here. :)

me and my partner have discussed what we fantasize about during sex many times. i always just focus on the sounds he is making or the way his eyes roll back into his head. knowing that i am making him feel good is what really gets me hot.

also, sometimes before sex we read literotica to each other and it's always fun. we have been reading the Kama Sutra pretty regularly. it's really nice to do enjoy other things that are sexually stimulating that aren't necessarily sex like reading. it really increases our desire for each other.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_knivesxout/]

oh i forgot! we also have an extensive pornographic film collection. it's fun to hunt down movies together that we think we would enjoy. it also sparks lots of good conversation. he always asks why i will pick out a certain movie, and that will get me start talking about how i think the girl in the movie is really hot, i like her breasts, etc and this in itself makes him hot. :)

[mist-twilight.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Wasn't sure if I'd get reaction here, but I did :)

I totally agree with you: knowing that I can make my boyfriend feel good is what gets me really turned on.. And I think reading literotica together might be a very good idea!

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

I don't really fantasize either. You're not alone or broken. :)

[mist-twilight.livejournal.com]

That's reassuring, I was beginning to feel awkward or weird, seems like I was the only one.. Thank you!

[ladymac111.livejournal.com]

I have a few super-smutty romance novels that I really enjoy -- I recommend anything by Karen Marie Moning.