question about HPV

[damn-hookers.livejournal.com]

Recently, I broke up with my long time BF.  One of us had contracted HPV at some point before becoming intimate with the other.  We found out we both had it about a year into our relationship.  We dealt with it and being intimate wasn't an issue.  Now that we have split, how do I go about moving on in that way.  How do you tell someone you have an incurable STD and expect them to still want to move into the next level with you?  And even if they do, how do you prevent them from contracting it as well?  Any ideas from you guys?  Maybe someone has been in this position already? 

Comments

[in-pieces.livejournal.com]

well i guess it also depends on what kind of HPV you have.. I personally contracted the potential cervical cancer strain, from one of the first people i was intimate with.. when i found out (3 years after), my boyfriend and i were already having condom-free sex. and that continued. We broke up, and my current boyfriend knows I have it, because i told him before we got together (we were just friends and i was having a LEEP done, so I told him and he was very supportive). There's never really been a question of not wanting to have a sexual relationship, we don't forsee us breaking up, but he doesn't have a problem with the fact i have it.

i think it makes guys more ok because if its not the warts causing strain, there's not really any danger to them ( as far as i know), they can't get cervical cancer, so yeah.


we don't do anything to prevent him from contracting it either.

[chiyo-no-saru.livejournal.com]

Are you sure you mean HPV? It's not incurable. A healthy immune system will usually have no problem isolating and fighting the virus. There's no, say, pill that will make it go away, but usually your body can take care of it on its own. Odds are very high it'll continue to hang around in your body, but the odds of transmitting it unless you have warts is very low.

Also, to help prevent transmission, just wear condoms. For HPV it's not a perfect method of prevention, but pretty good. The trick with HPV is that any kind of skin-to-skin contact can spread it.

This (http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_hpv_warts.cfm#7) is a very good website about HPV.

[box-of-rocks.livejournal.com]

"the odds of transmitting it unless you have warts is very low"

I do not believe that is true. Actually HPV is very easy to acquire and very common - and condoms are better than nothing, but quite far from a perfect method of protection.

OP, this is the kind of thing that you really need to share with your partner, give them *all* the facts, and let them decide if they want to risk catching it. For the most part, it's a disease the body can fight off by itself, and AFAIK most cases of cancer from HPV are cervical so it doesn't affect men. But certain strains cause warts or even penile cancer.

Here's a pretty good source http://www.cdc.gov/STD/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm . Let your partner read something that gives all the information. It is very common and often harmless but can have some long-term effects as well.

[chiyo-no-saru.livejournal.com]

Compared to when the warts are out and about, the risk is very low. Sorry, you're right, I should've been clearer.

It can be transmitted by just about any direct skin-to-skin contact, and thinner skin means easier transmission.

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I think of HPV as a very very small deal. Very small. I would never not have sex with someone because they had HPV. I wouldn't bother avoiding getting it either...basically cause I hate condoms, and it just isn't that big of a deal in my mind.

I'd just tell the person, look, I have HPV, just like 80% of the population. etc.

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

I'm still kinda monoriffic and tired at the moment, so I'll just say that I agree 100% with this comment and perspective on it.

[lamenting-gigno.livejournal.com]

Heya. I've been in the same place you are now. I have HPV, and have for a while now. It's a tough thought, that you'll have to admit what you have to anyone you are potentially going to be with. But many people are very understanding. I've had a healthy sex life since I contracted it, and I have been honest with all of my partners. Strangely enough, though I still have HPV - none of my past partners have contracted it from me. I know this because they've gotten tested, and have let me know. My suggestion is to be honest about it earlier rather than later when you meet someone. Certainly giving them informative websites to look at helps.

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

Strangely enough, though I still have HPV - none of my past partners have contracted it from me. I know this because they've gotten tested, and have let me know.

Out of curiosity, is it male or female partners? I only ask because males cannot be tested for HPV, and I know a lot of males who have thought that they were receiving a test for it as part of a regular STI battery, when in fact no such test is available.

[lamenting-gigno.livejournal.com]

The ones who were tested were females. I know some of the girls who have come "after" me with other guys, and as far as I know no one else has gotten it.

[bezsmertni.livejournal.com]

As someone mentioned, it's not incurable. A healthy body can fight it off, or you can get the bad tissue removed, which also (as far as I understand) can lead to negative HPV tests and no more abnormal paps.

So breathe deep! Hopefully, you're going to be having sex with people who are knowledgeable about STIs/risks, compassionate and sex-positive. I can't imagine someone with those qualities turning you down or making a fuss over such a common virus if they like you a lot.

(I'm still with the partner I was with when I was diagnosed, but breaking this news to people will be part of my future, too. I really feel that if you're honest, you won't have regrets at the end of the day, and that's that)

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

I don't THINK (although I'm not positive) that getting the abnormal tissue removed will lead to a negative HPV test. My understanding was that the only way for the test to become negative is for your body to clear the virus. I always imagined that it lives not just in the abnormal tissue, but in other places as well (that's why you can have it without having abnormal tissue) which would mean you couldn't just cut it out.

You can definitely have normal paps after having abnormal tissue removed though.

[bezsmertni.livejournal.com]

My gyno told me that last week, and while the world is definitely full of people who have absolutely no idea what's going on with hpv, it kind of makes sense.

Maybe it just coincides with the body clearing it, or the removal of the tissue helps the body clear what's left? I dunno. At any rate, being optimistic is probably better for your immune system, so I'm sticking to that. :)

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

yeah, maybe removing the tissue allows the body to focus on the virus in non-active areas, and clear it right out. I certainly don't know! :)