You're talking to a new non-virgin. :) I just gave mine away yesterday to my boyfriend of nine months. I have never performed oral sex on him or him on me because he's actually not that into it and neither am I. (he's more into wanting to do it to me, haha) While I totally respect someone's decision to give/receive oral, I agree with queensugar that it's definitely not for everyone so as long as you and your partner have no qualms about it, then what someone else defines as 'normal' is moot.
I have given him plenty of handjobs before. However, I dunno how much knowing each other's body parts helped when we had sex. We were both virgins and definitely still incredibly awkward, hahaha, and we love each other deeply. Just goes to show that no amount of planning can prepare you exactly for the real thing.
While it was sort of difficult and not at all smooth like the love scenes in movies, I really wouldn't have changed anything at all. I felt so close to him and it was perfect. You won't know what to do, and that is the truth. You're going to fumble, possibly not be able to get the condom on, and I even had to guide him in because he had no idea what to do. ;P
But as long as you're comfortable together and truly care and respect one another, I'm sure it will be a wonderful experience. I know it was for me. We didn't have any lubricant on hand, but I'd recommend lots of foreplay beforehand to relax you and get you in the mood. Otherwise you may be too nervous or your vag might just not be ready. Above all, treasure your time with him and have fun!
Before we even got to this point, my boyfriend and I had a long talk. About what we were comfortable with sexually, uncomfortable with. What protection we'd use, etc, etc. It really eased my mind and made me feel way more confident about sharing my first time with him. I've been on HBC for a few weeks now and we decided to use a condom though we're STD free because we just felt more safe that way (from babies).
I think you need to think about your decision by yourself as well! I asked myself a bunch of questions before we took that step in our relationship and I think it really helped. "Do YOU want to have sex? Why do you want to have sex? Is there anything that you don't want to happen during sex? Is there anything you do want to happen? Is it for you and him both, not just one of you? Have you discussed all of these questions with your significant other? Etc, etc, etc"
One thing that I might add just as my own opinion. Don't have misconceptions about your first time. It's not always a precendent for the rest of your sex life. It's not all fireworks and orgasms. In fact, I didn't even orgasm because we were both so new to it. For me, though, it wasn't about the orgasm, it was about the emotional, physical, and spiritual bonding of being with him. Not to say you won't orgasm, of course, some ladies do I'm sure, but just be realistic. It's a lot less disappointing and a lot more relaxing (for you both!) if you don't hold it as the "do or die" moment. :)
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Date: 2007-10-29 10:17 pm (UTC)I have given him plenty of handjobs before. However, I dunno how much knowing each other's body parts helped when we had sex. We were both virgins and definitely still incredibly awkward, hahaha, and we love each other deeply. Just goes to show that no amount of planning can prepare you exactly for the real thing.
While it was sort of difficult and not at all smooth like the love scenes in movies, I really wouldn't have changed anything at all. I felt so close to him and it was perfect. You won't know what to do, and that is the truth. You're going to fumble, possibly not be able to get the condom on, and I even had to guide him in because he had no idea what to do. ;P
But as long as you're comfortable together and truly care and respect one another, I'm sure it will be a wonderful experience. I know it was for me. We didn't have any lubricant on hand, but I'd recommend lots of foreplay beforehand to relax you and get you in the mood. Otherwise you may be too nervous or your vag might just not be ready. Above all, treasure your time with him and have fun!
Before we even got to this point, my boyfriend and I had a long talk. About what we were comfortable with sexually, uncomfortable with. What protection we'd use, etc, etc. It really eased my mind and made me feel way more confident about sharing my first time with him. I've been on HBC for a few weeks now and we decided to use a condom though we're STD free because we just felt more safe that way (from babies).
I think you need to think about your decision by yourself as well! I asked myself a bunch of questions before we took that step in our relationship and I think it really helped. "Do YOU want to have sex? Why do you want to have sex? Is there anything that you don't want to happen during sex? Is there anything you do want to happen? Is it for you and him both, not just one of you? Have you discussed all of these questions with your significant other? Etc, etc, etc"
One thing that I might add just as my own opinion. Don't have misconceptions about your first time. It's not always a precendent for the rest of your sex life. It's not all fireworks and orgasms. In fact, I didn't even orgasm because we were both so new to it. For me, though, it wasn't about the orgasm, it was about the emotional, physical, and spiritual bonding of being with him. Not to say you won't orgasm, of course, some ladies do I'm sure, but just be realistic. It's a lot less disappointing and a lot more relaxing (for you both!) if you don't hold it as the "do or die" moment. :)