There is no rule book for sex. I've had friends who have had sex with their partners and never went down on them and vice versa. It's just personal preference, really.
Obviously I can't speak for you, but I'm a virgin too and I'm waiting until I don't feel scared to have sex. For me, feeling scared is a sign that I'm still not comfortable with the idea of sex. Of course, there is a difference between being scared and being nervous, but that's one that only you can define!
It's certainly not bad that you want to have sex before going down on him, but just based on the attitude you have... perhaps trying to go down on him would make having sex later more comfortable for you. If you see his penis as "gross", then why would you want to let him put it in your vagina? I think it'd be beneficial if you tried to de-grossify yourself before deciding to have sex, so there will be less of a chance that you'll regret it later on.
Also, sex shouldn't just be about you pleasing him! It should be a mutual decision for the both of you... that both of you want the pleasure of sex, and have discussed the risks (which is just as important as the act, in my opinion). Have you talked to him about the risks involved with sex?
Whatever happens, just take your time. It's a big thing and you shouldn't ever feel forced into making up your mind if you're not totally ready yet.
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Date: 2007-10-29 05:17 pm (UTC)Obviously I can't speak for you, but I'm a virgin too and I'm waiting until I don't feel scared to have sex. For me, feeling scared is a sign that I'm still not comfortable with the idea of sex. Of course, there is a difference between being scared and being nervous, but that's one that only you can define!
It's certainly not bad that you want to have sex before going down on him, but just based on the attitude you have... perhaps trying to go down on him would make having sex later more comfortable for you. If you see his penis as "gross", then why would you want to let him put it in your vagina? I think it'd be beneficial if you tried to de-grossify yourself before deciding to have sex, so there will be less of a chance that you'll regret it later on.
Also, sex shouldn't just be about you pleasing him! It should be a mutual decision for the both of you... that both of you want the pleasure of sex, and have discussed the risks (which is just as important as the act, in my opinion). Have you talked to him about the risks involved with sex?
Whatever happens, just take your time. It's a big thing and you shouldn't ever feel forced into making up your mind if you're not totally ready yet.